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2nd Trimester
SarahCM
member
anyone feeling "gender pressure"?
SarahCM
member
OK, so this baby will be grandbaby #7 on my DH's side (our 1st), and there is only 1 boy so far. Everybody has been saying how we "have to have a boy" and it "better be a boy" etc.
I am getting way tired of this because 1) it is out of my hands 2) its just a 50/50 chance, and I don't need to feel guilty or like I let them down if we do end up having a girl.
My SIL just had her 3rd girl and my MIL said "we will love her anyway"
ugh, rant over. TFL
This discussion has been closed.
Re: anyone feeling "gender pressure"?
My ILs already have 4 nephews, and my MIL keeps saying, "If it's a boy, I'm going to shove it back in until it changes to a girl"
B!tch try to touch my hoo ha and see what happens!
Oh jeez....Been there...
The only one who really said anything was MIL. It was her first comment after finding out we were expecting...'I'm happy, especially if its a girl!' (she has two grandsons from SIL and really misses buying pink)...I know she would have been okay with a boy but still would've been disappointed. Everyone else kept their mouths shut over gender until we told them this week. Then everyone commented how they were so happy that cousin Kaylee would have a friend now!....
I would've been thrilled with either because hubby and I are just excited for our first baby to get here.
My husband really, really wanted a boy, so I was relieved when we found out last week that we do have a son. But I was really worried.
His mom, on the other hand, was really disappointed when we told her. Its her first grandchild - I thought she'd be thrilled, but when we called her from the ultrasound appointment she said "well maybe my granddaughter is hiding behind him."
It is what it is...this stuff is so out of our hands and it is hard to change peoples minds. I don't get why people say things like that though - I'd just be thrilled that it's a healthy baby.
Yes...I definitely was feeling pressured. I was my dad's last chance for a boy on my side of the family (it is just me & my sister)...she has a girl and is due with another girl in Sept. I have a girl and well...I am having another girl. My dad is so bummed...but he will get over it, LOL.
My MIL on the other hand truly believed this was a boy and when we told her yesterday it was a girl, she asked if it could still grow a penis by our next appt? She is chinese and well, they really like some boys! Sorry lady, my girl ain't gonna grow a penis and if she does, we have a problem.
Kind of. Everyone is saying that they "hope it's a girl!" My brother just had a boy one month ago, but other than him there are no more babies in the family! There is still plenty of time for one of us to have a girl eventually!
I keep telling them that I think it's a boy so they will shut up about it. I know they'll love he/she no matter what, but it's still annoying though!
Yep, so far, it's ALL girls on my side. I have 2 cousins who each have 2 girls. Everyone is "certain" our baby is THE boy. It's pretty annoying. Almost makes me wish for a girl just to spite them.
Also, my MIL had 2 boys (my hubby and his brother), and she is "certain" that we will also end up with 2 boys. This woman HATES girls, so another reason I secretly hope for a girl.
My uncle was a little like your dad. He really wanted a grandson when his daughter and DIL were pregnant. His daughter already had two girls, then she had a third. His DIL was told boy, so he was so excited, then a couple weeks later, they said they were wrong and changed it to girl, so my uncle has four granddaughters and no grandsons. His daughter is done, had her tubes tied, but I"m nto sure if this is an only for his DIL or if she and my cousin will have another. He was disappointed though.
My mother in law was really annoying until I told her how silly she'd feel if it turned out to be a girl, and that it really annoyed me that anyone would "insist" since it wasn't our choice anyway- the baby already decided (ok, ok, genetics decided) and we all just get to effin' deal with it.
I think she was just being playful, but I'm sure glad she stopped. Because man, like I told my husband and SIL- wouldn't that suck, to find out that your grandparent is disappointed because you're the wrong gender?
?
This was HIL-arious! ?If it makes you feel any better, I got a "6od damnit!" from my MIL when we called to tell her it was a boy. ?She has 2 grandsons already and she really wanted a girl. ?She was kidding, but she is not the kind to swear, so I thought she was serious.?
Why can't people just be happy when you announce what you are having or if you are deciding to wait. DH and I decided to wait and find out at birth. My G-rents asked and I said no we didn't find out. They almost seemed pissed. Sorry but you have 3 sons of your own, then 1 grandson and 4 granddaughters...its not like they only have one or the other its a mix.
I also hate when peopole tell you what you are having - like they are so matter of fact.
Wow, that is a really really rude thing of her to say. Sorry.
YES. My side of the family is mostly girls, so they had been hoping for a boy. And they were very vocal about it.
Also, DH and his sister were talking once about which they'd prefer and they both said boy. I was so hurt, because I honestly and truly would not prefer one over the other. And it just made me think that if it was a girl, there would be that hint of disappointment. I just wish everyone would keep their mouths shut!
We found out the other day that it is a boy. And I'm mad at myself for actually being relieved because that's what everyone wanted. (But I'm mostly just excited to get to know my little man.)
A part of me wished for a girl just to spite everyone. But I think that's the hormones talking!
Baby Boy #1 born 1/15/2010
Babies #2 & #3 arriving Spring 2014 (EDD June 18)
Yes I feel pressure!
When DH and I got engaged last year, FIL, who's not in the best health made the comment to MIL (privately, but she snitched) "the one thing i want before I die is to see Bobby married with a son"
No pressure there!!!
I'm not feeling pressure from others, I am pressuring myself!!! Not that I can do anything about it but I REALLY want a girl. I have always wanted a baby girl and I have a very strained relationship with my Mom so I guess I feel like I want to prove that I can love my daughter unconditionally unlike what my Mom did.
Also, my in laws are jewish and I will not be raising my child in their faith so I feel a girl will be easier for them to accept as non-jewish. Does that make sense? Probably not. Blame it on the horomones!
My dad already has two granddaughters so he would love for it to be a boy. He will be thrilled either way though and he just loves kids.
DH really wants a boy but is convinved he will have all girls. Seeing how he treats just he dog leaves no doubt he will be an amazing father.
My SIL lives two doors down from us and has a baby boy so would be really nice for ours to be a boy as well so the cousins could be best friends.
5 more months until we find out though!
The pressure for me is on my side of the family. With my first, my mom would say, "I won't know what to do with a boy". (She had 4 girls). And my dad kept saying he wanted a "princess". Now, my son is 2 years old and 2 of my sisters each have had a boy as well, so no girls yet. With this pregnancy, my mom has not said anything about gender; she realized boys are just as great and loves her grandsons dearly. When we told my dad I was pregnant, the first thing he said was, "Maybe now I'll get my princess".
Nice.
Fortunately, I don't take it to heart. I know everyone will be happy with whatever it is and the most important thing is that it is healthy.
P.S. We find out in 4 weeks!!! Let the countdown begin!