Parenting

Send shower invites to OOT relatives/friends?

I'm hosting a baby shower for my sister. My mom insists that out-of-town relatives should get invites, so they don't "feel left out."  I think if you know someone can't come to the party, then sending an invite to a shower is just like asking for a gift. I figure if they want to send a baby gift, the will do so when the baby is born. What do you think?

Re: Send shower invites to OOT relatives/friends?

  • I always have...just as a kind gesture.  Not asking for gifts, but just including them and inviting them just in case they'd like to come.
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  • We have always sent shower invites to out of town friends/family.  I am with your mom, wouldn't want people to feel left out.
  • Yes, because you never know when someone will make the effort to attend the shower. I think it also makes them feel included.
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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
  • I actually agree with you - I feel like it's more about asking for/expecting a gift rather than making feel included.  Perhaps my opinion is skewed because my family is scattered and no one travels for things like showers.  They just aren't seen as a big deal and are expected to be for local people. 

     I feel differently about weddings because weddings are a bigger deal, more fun, etc.  The focus there is a big party...but realistically, a shower is about gifts, no matter how much you try to sugar coat it as being something else.

  • For those OOT family/guests, I do send an invite to let them know we are thinking about them.  I usually include a hand-written note inside just saying that we know that they are far away, but wanted to be sure they knew about the occasion, in case they decided to make the trip. Sometimes it's the only excuse they need to make the trip and see everyone.

  • If my oldest DD hadn't of done this there would have been no one at her shower.  All of her DH's relatives are out of state and my relatives are out of town (1 - 3 hours away).  People traveled up to 5 hours to make her shower.  Some stayed in hotels and some stayed at her home afterwards.  It was no big deal asking them and I don't think it sounds "gift grabby" at all...especially if you are close with the people.  We go to their get-togethers!  Matter of fact, I'm leaving today for one (2 hours away).
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