is crying for 10 minutes too long?

hisbabybear · August 2009

our pedi told me that I need to start putting dawson down drowsy but awake and let him cry for 10 minutes before soothing him so that he can learn to go to sleep on his own. Does this sound ok or is my pedi full of sh!t?

side note: we have to put dawson down completely asleep or else he will wake up and cry .. we havent tried letting him cry for a while yet. we let him fuss until he starts to cry and then we usually pick him up.

what do you ladies think? keep doing it our way until hes older? OR the pedis way now?

SouthernBellelovesaYankee · August 2009

hisbabybear:

side note: we have to put dawson down completely asleep or else he will wake up and cry .. we havent tried letting him cry for a while yet. we let him fuss until he starts to cry and then we usually pick him up.

We have to do the same, he will wake up and give us hell. He will only let us put him down if he is 100% content.

jenerally · August 2009

::slaps HBB and kicks her pedi::

he's TWO months old. He's a TINY INFANT.

if he cries, go pick him up. He should NOT be left to cry for 10 minutes at that age. ACK!

(fussin', however, is completely subjective and is open to interpretation)

carmenlarue · August 2009

Sounds like crap to me. 10 minutes is a long time!

WaitingForMyMiracle · August 2009

I started with 5 minutes.

Eventually, I got to the point where I could wait 7 minutes.

To this day, once he gets to 7 minutes, I go and soothe or rock until he's easy again, put him back down, and he will go right to sleep.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with 5-10 minutes if you know there is nothing physically wrong with your LO. We can put Mason down drowsy now without him screaming murder every time.

lhull · August 2009

Sometimes if DS is drowsy I'll pat his butt and rub his back and he usually goes out but he is a tummy sleeper too.

hisbabybear · August 2009

jenerally:
::slaps HBB and kicks her pedi::
he's TWO months old. He's a TINY INFANT.
if he cries, go pick him up. He should NOT be left to cry for 10 minutes at that age. ACK!
(fussin', however, is completely subjective and is open to interpretation)

thank you. I needed that slap. Im a little distracted by my difficult day. Why do i always have the stupidest pediatricians?

Jennilynn · August 2009

You have to do what you feel is right- if you want to try but don't want to go the whole 10 mins, don't. I started with 3, then moved to 5. But Dawson is still really young. I waited until 3 months. But don't let anyone else tell you that CIO is wrong, or the only way. Its about you, your instincts, and the kind of cry that you're dealing with.

BugLuv · August 2009

jenerally:

::slaps HBB and kicks her pedi::

he's TWO months old. He's a TINY INFANT.

if he cries, go pick him up. He should NOT be left to cry for 10 minutes at that age. ACK!

(fussin', however, is completely subjective and is open to interpretation)

I agree with this. If he is crying, help soothe him. If he is fussy, let him try to soothe himself. I do not belive in CIO at this age. If your pedi recommended it, but you don't like it, then don't do it. You do whats right for you, pedis aren't always right.

flyrsgirl1 · August 2009

My DD is the same way. I wouldn't start that now though...IMO he is too young! I still feel my DD is too young. Maybe at 5 or 6 months for us.

JLS0320 · August 2009

I don't even let my 5 mos old do that.

katlizabeth · August 2009

Too young, IMO.

Also, if you let him cry 10 minutes, that's teaching him that he just has to cry 10 minutes and he'll get you. Which means, logically, if you ever do want to do CIO, you're already guaranteeing 10 solid minutes of crying.

mistresscox · August 2009

fredalina:

i'm anti-CIO but even if i toss that out the window, he's WAY too young for any kind of sleep training like that. Babies can't self-soothe until 4 months *at least*. Honestly if my pedi said that, i'd be searching out a new pedi.

This. Especially the "I'd be searching for a new pedi" part! I can't imagine letting DD CIO at this point-I can barely handle hearing her cry when I set her down to go to the bathroom! I can't imagine going 10 minutes at this age. This would definately make me look at another pediatrician!

hisbabybear · August 2009

katlizabeth:
Too young, IMO.
Also, if you let him cry 10 minutes, that's teaching him that he just has to cry 10 minutes and he'll get you. Which means, logically, if you ever do want to do CIO, you're already guaranteeing 10 solid minutes of crying.

haha wow thats a good point!

WaitingForMyMiracle · August 2009

Is ten minutes really CIO?

B/c sometimes DS doesn't have a choice. DH and I are heavy sleepers. I wake up to his full out screams every night not sure how long he's been crying.

If he's full blown screaming, red in the face, yeah- I agree. Go pick him up. But if he's just whine crying and I can clearly tell it's his "tired" cry... well. You saw my pp.

Also, DS is a sleep fighter. He would scream whether I held him or not, guaranteed. I opt to hold him when he gets to this point, but I also know that sometimes when he cries there isn't anything more I can do to soothe him. He esentially ends up crying himself to sleep in my exhausted arms.

Jennilynn · August 2009

hisbabybear:
katlizabeth:
Too young, IMO.
Also, if you let him cry 10 minutes, that's teaching him that he just has to cry 10 minutes and he'll get you. Which means, logically, if you ever do want to do CIO, you're already guaranteeing 10 solid minutes of crying.
haha wow thats a good point!

I don't know if this is necessarily true... from what I've read about Ferber experiences on here it seems to have the opposite effect. JMO...

hisbabybear · August 2009

Jennilynn:
hisbabybear:
katlizabeth:
Too young, IMO.
Also, if you let him cry 10 minutes, that's teaching him that he just has to cry 10 minutes and he'll get you. Which means, logically, if you ever do want to do CIO, you're already guaranteeing 10 solid minutes of crying.
haha wow thats a good point!
good thing he doesnt have a watch to time me for the 10 minutes

I don't know if this is necessarily true... from what I've read about Ferber experiences on here it seems to have the opposite effect. JMO...

jillchrispy · August 2009

My pedi had said something similar but when I tried it, it just didn't feel right so I stopped. I would go with your mom instinct.

mommabarker09 · August 2009

fredalina:
i'm anti-CIO but even if i toss that out the window, he's WAY too young for any kind of sleep training like that. Babies can't self-soothe until 4 months *at least*. Honestly if my pedi said that, i'd be searching out a new pedi.

This. I wouldn't even be able to listen to him cry for longer than it takes me to make a bottle... and even then sometimes I'm quite upset!!

IselaCid · August 2009

I can't believe pedis are suggesting this. If mine did I would have walked out before he could finish his *suggestion* and found a new pedi. That's just crazy.

jolis_petits_bijoux · August 2009

Time for a new pedi!! 2 months is way too young for that. Fussing is one thing, crying is another.

I do not let DS cry without picking him up, not even for 30 seconds. I will let him fuss for 5-10 minutes. (The only exception to this is the rare times that he's on an inconsolable crying jag for an hour, and I need to put him down to take a break... in that case I will let him cry for 5 minutes, but I would never let him cry himself to sleep).

At DS's 2 month appt, our pedi also said we should be working on putting him to bed drowsy but awake, but never said that we should let him cry it out. If he did, that would have been our last visit with him!

baby4us · August 2009

If my opinion counts...I say you are the mom and you should make that decision. With our first DD we let her CIO at 2 months, but the first night we let her cry for 3 mins, then 5 mins the next night, and by the third night she fell asleep on her own. Our LO now doesn't even cry (she only grunts) so I don't have to let her CIO. Our neighbors baby is 4 months old and she crys hysterically if she isn't held a certain way before bed.

Seriously every baby is different so getting everyone's opinion is great and all, but really it's up to your mommy instincts to make that call.

Califragilistic · August 2009

jenerally:
he's TWO months old. He's a TINY INFANT.
if he cries, go pick him up. He should NOT be left to cry for 10 minutes at that age.

i dont think its your pedis position to TELL you to do something like this. i dont believe in CIO until they can understand it. right now they just know you arent coming to help them and that saddens them.

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