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When should in-laws come?

princesstracitaprincesstracita
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

My in-laws live in Italy and would like to come to help out when our first baby arrives.  I would love for them to come as well.  My due date is Sept. 10, in less than 4 weeks, and they are going to purchase their airline tickets for Sept. 8th to Sept. 26.  I know that they mean well by coming early, because they want to be here during the time when we will need the most help.  But I'm worried, because this is my first baby, and I read that first babies are usually late:

What if the baby is over a week or so late?  And they are here already, I'm going to feel pressured that the baby has not arrived yet.  I know that they will be nice about it.  But after 42 weeks the doctor usually induces the labor right?

We told them that we would call them when we know that the baby is coming, and then they can book their ticket, because we will stay in the hospital for 2 days anyways.  And they can purchase the tickets last minute and arrive in 3 or 4 days.  But they want to be here, just in case we need them.  We suggested this several times, but they didn't like the idea.

The other option was that they come and they buy a one way ticket, but that's out of the question because it's too costly.  

I don't have any other ideas to suggest to them, I would really love my in-laws help with the baby.  But if they come too early and the baby comes late, we will not get much help.  My parents are not going to be able to come and help out, until January 2010, and they aren't certain of that.  So this is pretty much all the help we are getting. 

Any other ideas for how to arrange my in-laws visit?  

Thanks.  

 

 

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Re: When should in-laws come?

  • NatPhoto09NatPhoto09 member
    I would say tell them later.  If your LO is early or on time you may want that time for your DH, LO and yourself.  I made the mistake that all our family came from 0-6 weeks and I was miserable.  GL
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  • PuppyMommyPuppyMommy
    Honestly, there is no way in knowing when your baby will come.  Mine was 8 days late.  You shouldn't feel pressure if the baby is late. Just let your IL decide when to come.  That's pretty much all you can do.
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  • heathb21heathb21
    I would have them come later. For the first 2weeks my babies slept all the time!  It was after that when I actually needed help.  Around 6 weeks was the worst for me.
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  • DesignsOnYouDesignsOnYou member

    My first reaction to your subject line was "never" ;-P

    I'm not exactly sure how to solve your problem but I would say HANDS-DOWN you don't want them there before you have the baby because you will feel pretty stressed I'm guessing.

    Also, I did not want anyone except my husband around (even to help) for at least the first several days so we could all bond, get comfortable breast-feeding, etc.

    I would've hated having tons of visitors around - helpful or not.

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  • StaceySnGeorgiaStaceySnGeorgia
    Never come! lol
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  • princesstracitaprincesstracita
    I think it might be best if we call them when I go into labor and we know the baby is coming for sure.  Then they can be here in about 4 days, and I won't have to feel stressed, entertaining them, and waiting for the baby to come.  Also because they speak mostly Italian, and I only speak a little bit, this will be better because then my hubby can be home on paternity leave and spend time with them also.  If they have an issue with coming after we call them, then I'll say, "Why don't you come on Sept. 28th or after that?"  Sound good? 
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  • MissLMSMissLMS member

    We had all of our family come the day we came home from the hospital and I have to say it was the WORST decision. I was having problems with bf'ing and was stressed out and emotional.

    The day after we came home from the hospital our lactation consultant told us to tell our family to go home and to spend the week with just me and DH and DD - bonding time. So that is what we did and I'm so glad.

    If I were you, I'd tell your IL's to come a couple weeks after your DC has been born. You'll need more help then.

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  • innes1015innes1015 member

    Can you tell them to come like Oct. 1st? I know this sounds like a random date (and it really is), but basically a date that is a little ways past your due date so LO should be here, and hopefully you might be able to be in a little bit of a routine. 

    I would basically tell them you want them to be able to have as much time with LO as possible, and would hate for them to be here and just be waiting for LO to arrive and loosing time later on.

     I know it may not happen, but LO's come early at first too (I was 35w4d) and then need some extra special care.

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