Babies: 9 - 12 Months

s/o: What are you judged for?

MBW's confession made me think about the ways I feel I am judged (I'm not going to get all "u don't no my lyfe" on y'all) unfairly.

I look about 17, and strangers have told me I look like a teen mom and they assume I'm unmarried. I'm 26 and have a fabulous DH! Even worse- my parents and I go out to eat when DH is still at work and my dad carries DD's car seat. Strangers probably think my parents are supporting my un-married teenaged self ;D

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't really bother me. I know I look young, and consider it a blessing, and don't really care what strangers think of me- I'm just aware of it.

What are you judged for? Backpack leash? Tiny baby??

image DD and I. DD: 6/22/2008. DS: 6/22/2013
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Re: s/o: What are you judged for?

  • I only really know what I am judged for by my family and on here and that tends to be my religious and political views, and my beliefs on health/medicine.
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  • i'm right there with you.  on the weekends i am typically in jeans, a tshirt and converse.  i can't count the number of times i've received the side-eye from random people because of how "young" i look.  i'm pushing 31 people! 
  • Prior to getting pregnant, I loved working out. To some people, this was excessive and I was the "workout freak" Annoying!

    Also, DS is a big boy so it has been implied that I overfeed him. False.

  • I am mistaken for "being a b!tch" at work because I like to play by the rules and actually get things done.
  • The exact same thing you just wrote. I am 26 and also have a fabulous dh. Ppl always think I am a teen mom.

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  • lol i dont think you look 17 at all, fwiw. you look your age. but maybe thats just pics?

     

    i have no idea what im judged for. well, id say 1 thing is that i always bring a bottle for aidan "just in case". she goes to sleep with a bottle of water (its like a lovey to her) and i have one hiding in my baby bag in case we get too close to her nap and she wants to sleep. if i run to the store too late in the day and she is laying down in the cart basket with a bottle i laugh and think "u dont no my lyfe" if someone was to say anything. they just dont know my kid and dont know that its a once in a rare moon thing and its to save both of our sanities

  • imageKittenGator:

    MBW's confession made me think about the ways I feel I am judged (I'm not going to get all "u don't no my lyfe" on y'all) unfairly.

    I look about 17, and strangers have told me I look like a teen mom and they assume I'm unmarried. I'm 26 and have a fabulous DH! Even worse- my parents and I go out to eat when DH is still at work and my dad carries DD's car seat. Strangers probably think my parents are supporting my un-married teenaged self ;D

    Don't get me wrong, it doesn't really bother me. I know I look young, and consider it a blessing, and don't really care what strangers think of me- I'm just aware of it.

    What are you judged for? Backpack leash? Tiny baby? 

    I have that same exact issue. I am 23, but don't look it. I go out with my parents a lot too and I always see people giving me wierd looks. I always try to talk to DS about daddy where people around can here.

  • People used to judge me for being really well dressed everywhere, matching heels for everything, etc... People always thought I was "snooty" or whatever, because I would never wear the same outfit twice at school in a semester, etc...

    I guess no one can make that mistake post baby for me, on days like this where DD peed all over my skirt at a playdate. Yay. I now know what classy looks like. :)

  • BFing (by my family that thinks it's gone on long enough!!), co sleeping, and not losing all the baby weight by now.  Sad
  • imageradiokate:

    People used to judge me for being really well dressed everywhere, matching heels for everything, etc... People always thought I was "snooty" or whatever, because I would never wear the same outfit twice at school in a semester, etc...

    I guess no one can make that mistake post baby for me, on days like this where DD peed all over my skirt at a playdate. Yay. I now know what classy looks like. :)

    LOL omg i used to have a spiral notebook in high school and i wrote down my outfits. then i could see if i wore it on A day or B day and so then i could rotate it in a few weeks, mix it up, and wear it on the opposite day. 

  • People say that I feed A too much because she's a larger baby.  Also, people feel the need to tell me that my baby needs to be wearing socks when it's 90 degrees outside.
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  • This is interesting to think of. I also look really young, so I'm sure I get judged for that. Also, DH is a SAHD who got laid off over a year ago. We decided it would be best for him to just stay home with DD. I'm almost positive people judge him for that. Next week, he is going to start working 3 days a week and I'm sure people will judge that too. LOL

    Also, since I work at a dealership I occasionally will take a new car home to "test" it out. I'll keep it for a few days, sometimes longer. I'm sure some of my neighbors (that I don't know very well) think we're buying new cars all the time.

  • MIL judges me a lot for not doing things the way she would/has.  For instance, she was over the other night and was all worried because DH was not getting dinner until late. I said he was fine and normally does not eat much anyway, he does not even eat breakfast. She goes, "well he used to eat breakfast all the time at our house". I know that sounds harmless but when she said it it felt like a slam on me. She also judges me for not working.

  • I will be judged for this:

    image

     

     

  • imageolivejuice127:
    I am mistaken for "being a b!tch" at work because I like to play by the rules and actually get things done.

    Same here!!!

  • imageKittenGator:

    MBW's confession made me think about the ways I feel I am judged (I'm not going to get all "u don't no my lyfe" on y'all) unfairly.

    I look about 17, and strangers have told me I look like a teen mom and they assume I'm unmarried. I'm 26 and have a fabulous DH! Even worse- my parents and I go out to eat when DH is still at work and my dad carries DD's car seat. Strangers probably think my parents are supporting my un-married teenaged self ;D

    Don't get me wrong, it doesn't really bother me. I know I look young, and consider it a blessing, and don't really care what strangers think of me- I'm just aware of it.

    What are you judged for? Backpack leash? Tiny baby? 

    Exact same for me and I'm 30 and have been married for 8 years! I was just asked "are you old enough to vote" while I was pushing DS in his stroller!

  • imagepunkfiction:
    imageradiokate:

    People used to judge me for being really well dressed everywhere, matching heels for everything, etc... People always thought I was "snooty" or whatever, because I would never wear the same outfit twice at school in a semester, etc...

    I guess no one can make that mistake post baby for me, on days like this where DD peed all over my skirt at a playdate. Yay. I now know what classy looks like. :)

    LOL omg i used to have a spiral notebook in high school and i wrote down my outfits. then i could see if i wore it on A day or B day and so then i could rotate it in a few weeks, mix it up, and wear it on the opposite day. 

    Punk, I always liked you, but holy hell, you may be my clothes soulmate. I would post pics on here of my closet, but I would get flamed to high hell. :)

  • I know I get judged by my friends who don't have kids. They don't "know my life" or any mothers life. They'll learn though. Once they have kids they'll get it.

    The one thing is DD name. She is blond haired & blue eyed & her name is Sophia. People always comment on the fact that her name is Sophia & she is so fair skined or oh she has such light features for a Sophia. Drives me insane. WTF does her skin tone or the color of her features have to do w/ her name? NOTHING!

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  • I am always out and about without DH with the kids. I went to MOA a few weeks back with my two kids and was carded at the entrance because I "looked young" and they don't allow anyone under 16 without a parent/guardian.

    My family judges me for not losing all the baby weight yet. 

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  • Oh and ppl always think I look like a b*tch and stuck up.
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  • imagepunkfiction:

    lol i dont think you look 17 at all, fwiw. you look your age. but maybe thats just pics?

    I honestly don't think I look that young either, but I keep getting told I do. Maybe it's those damn Dawson River kids (bonus points if you get the reference ;o) being in their upper 20's playing 15 year olds. I told DH the other day that "26 isn't too old- I could still play a teenager on tv!"?

    image DD and I. DD: 6/22/2008. DS: 6/22/2013
  • imagemsabol2077:
    Oh and ppl always think I look like a b*tch and stuck up.

    REALLY? You?? In your siggy pic you look sweet!?

    image DD and I. DD: 6/22/2008. DS: 6/22/2013
  • imageradiokate:
    imagepunkfiction:
    imageradiokate:

    People used to judge me for being really well dressed everywhere, matching heels for everything, etc... People always thought I was "snooty" or whatever, because I would never wear the same outfit twice at school in a semester, etc...

    I guess no one can make that mistake post baby for me, on days like this where DD peed all over my skirt at a playdate. Yay. I now know what classy looks like. :)

    LOL omg i used to have a spiral notebook in high school and i wrote down my outfits. then i could see if i wore it on A day or B day and so then i could rotate it in a few weeks, mix it up, and wear it on the opposite day. 

    Punk, I always liked you, but holy hell, you may be my clothes soulmate. I would post pics on here of my closet, but I would get flamed to high hell. :)

    I love your closet. :) Although we are not clothes soul mates because I have like 10 shirts... but I will live vicariously through you.

  • I'm sure I'm judged for:

    - picking up DD when she fusses; apparently I'm spoiling her

    - feeding her twice during the night & enforcing her habit of waking up to eat

    - being with her all the time & making her clingy

    - not "making her" take a bottle

     

    I could go on forever.

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  • imagemegontoast:

    Also, since I work at a dealership I occasionally will take a new car home to "test" it out. I'll keep it for a few days, sometimes longer. I'm sure some of my neighbors (that I don't know very well) think we're buying new cars all the time.

    ';

    Hehe. My DH works at a dealership and has to test drive cars overnight sometimes. It's been a while, but it seemed like he was bringing home a new car once a week for a while.

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  • kg - i get the young mom thing too. i always feel like people think i'm the nanny. i'm going to be 28 in a week, but i do know i have a baby face. when i found out i was pg (i was 26 at the time) someone at work told me they thought i looked 18. when i was getting my makeup done for my engagement photos they lady asked me if i was going to my senior prom. i will get carded forever.

    radiokate - i am so jealous of that. i had to wear a uniform to high school. boo! i did however get judged by some for always being too dressed up to go out. what can i say? i LOVE dresses! 

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  • imageITeachK:

    I'm sure I'm judged for:

    - picking up DD when she fusses; apparently I'm spoiling her

    - feeding her twice during the night & enforcing her habit of waking up to eat

    - being with her all the time & making her clingy

    - not "making her" take a bottle

     

    I could go on forever.

     

    Why do you still enforce that she get up in the middle of the night to eat? Was she not gaining weight?

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  • imagemsabol2077:
    Oh and ppl always think I look like a b*tch and stuck up.

    I am on the shy side, so I get this a lot.

    I've had more than one person ask if I smoked while pregnant because DD is so lanky.  

    I will probably get flamed for this, but I have been judged because I have lost the baby weight.  Apparently, getting back in shape means I'm neglecting my child.  I went to a mommy and me type get together with other military wives and one of them said, "OMG, who invited the size 2". Laughs all around.  There were then snide comments about how spending quality time with their kids is more important than fitting back in pre-pregnancy clothes.  I don't understand why they didn't jump at my offer to whip them all back into shape.  I even gave them the military discount rate. Bwahaha. 

  • I'm 26, but look a lot younger..and my baby looks nothing like me, so I think people think I'm the nanny..I was not married when I got pregnant.

    I will have a smoke or two when I am out  without the baby, so I'm SURE I get judged for that.

    I still play volleyball once a week, on top of working FT, so I think my friends secretly think I am neglecting my son. (ie.. What's she doing out? Doesn't she have a kid?!?! When does she see him?)

    I gave up BFing after a few weeks, so the BFing crazies look down upon me.

    I'm sure I could go and on... , I just kind of do my own thing and what feels right for me and my family, even if others don't agree.

     

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  • imagecappyb13:

    imagemsabol2077:
    Oh and ppl always think I look like a b*tch and stuck up.

    I am on the shy side, so I get this a lot.

    I've had more than one person ask if I smoked while pregnant because DD is so lanky.  

    I will probably get flamed for this, but I have been judged because I have lost the baby weight.  Apparently, getting back in shape means I'm neglecting my child.  I went to a mommy and me type get together with other military wives and one of them said, "OMG, who invited the size 2". Laughs all around.  There were then snide comments about how spending quality time with their kids is more important than fitting back in pre-pregnancy clothes.  I don't understand why they didn't jump at my offer to whip them all back into shape.  I even gave them the military discount rate. Bwahaha. 

     

    Sounds like jealosy in it's truest form.

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  • I am likely judged for being a little crunchy/au natural on many of my parenting decisions (non-med birth, no circ, co sleeping, etc). I usually don't talk to people about these choices for this reason.

    I also get the feeling a lot of my family thinks I'm a bit overboard on ds food and the products I use for him. I usually use the "excuse" that he has allergies and eczema but honestly I would probably do these these things even if he didn't.

    I've never tried to push my choices on anyone else (don't usually even talk about them) but sometimes I get the "you think you're better than me" vibe from some of the fam when I object to ds having something.
     

  • imageKittenGator:

    imagemsabol2077:
    Oh and ppl always think I look like a b*tch and stuck up.

    REALLY? You?? In your siggy pic you look sweet! 

    Aww thanks

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  • imagecappyb13:

    I will probably get flamed for this, but I have been judged because I have lost the baby weight. ?Apparently, getting back in shape means I'm neglecting my child. ?I went to a mommy and me type get together with other military wives and one of them said, "OMG, who invited the size 2". Laughs all around. ?There were then snide comments about how spending quality time with their kids is more important than fitting back in pre-pregnancy clothes.

    DD will NOT go to the gym daycare. I would LOVE to be able to exercise but I just can't do it as frequently as I'm used to. I'm back to my pre-pg weight and being a size 0 from eating well, but I don't dare brag about it!!! I guess everyone gets judged for their size. It's not okay to brag about losing weight when you're small, but larger people get judged too for being lazy. The weight issue sucks altogether!?

    image DD and I. DD: 6/22/2008. DS: 6/22/2013
  • I get judged for being thin. It got a lot worse after I had DS. I get it from DH's Aunts and cousins and from my side of the family. It used to really bother me because it made me self conscious but I don't care anymore. You're judged no matter what size you are. Also,DS is huge so people assume I feed him to shut him up. SIL's words exactly.
  • I am sure I get judged all the time.  But I'm drawing blanks because I could give a flying fluck. 

    Hmmmmm...oh yeah, I use a Floppy Seat at the grocery store and have gotten comments about I won't be so germ phobic with my next kid, and side eyes from other moms with their kids in carts sans covers.  I can clip her toys to it without them being thrown in the store and she can lay to the side and be comfy.  So they can suck it.

    Oh, and for being a working mom.  I've gotten arm pats and sympathy at moms' groups for having a job.  They can suck it too.

     

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  • I look young...very young.  Like, a colleague once yelled at me b/c I got mixed in with her 5th graders and she thought I was one of them.  I would get really weird looks from people while I was pregnant all.the.time.  I couldn't go anywhere without my ring.

     This one is kind of odd, but I get judged by my mom and sister for the kinds of parties I throw.  If I'm throwing a party, whether it is a birthday party, shower, baptism, whatever, I'm going to make it nice.  Nice food, nice beverages, nice decorations, etc.  They gave me grief for inviting my family to DD's baptism and providing dinner for all the guests.  I know I'm going to get a bunch of remarks about how big her bday party is going to be.  The thing is, I put time and effort into my parties, but am able to do it on a budget.  DD's party is going to look like it cost a lot more than it really did, b/c I've been doing my research and doing a lot of things myself instead of buying them.  It just annoys me that they give me crap over wanting to throw someone a nice party.

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  • imagepretty_helmet:
    i'm right there with you.  on the weekends i am typically in jeans, a tshirt and converse.  i can't count the number of times i've received the side-eye from random people because of how "young" i look.  i'm pushing 31 people! 

    Ha! I dress like that every day. And yes, I do have a job. I dress better than half the nerds I work with, but that's not saying much!

  • being a vegetarian...people are constantly telling me how they couldn't do it, etc.  I don't care!  I'm not trying to convert anyone
  • imagecappyb13:

    imagemsabol2077:
    Oh and ppl always think I look like a b*tch and stuck up.

    I am on the shy side, so I get this a lot.

    I've had more than one person ask if I smoked while pregnant because DD is so lanky.  

    I will probably get flamed for this, but I have been judged because I have lost the baby weight.  Apparently, getting back in shape means I'm neglecting my child.  I went to a mommy and me type get together with other military wives and one of them said, "OMG, who invited the size 2". Laughs all around.  There were then snide comments about how spending quality time with their kids is more important than fitting back in pre-pregnancy clothes.  I don't understand why they didn't jump at my offer to whip them all back into shape.  I even gave them the military discount rate. Bwahaha. 

    I'm a military wife, do I qualify for your discount?  I need to still get this baby weight off....

    I don't know if I get judged for anything because I don't really give two sh*ts about what other people think.  My aunt told me I needed to start potty training DS because SHE was potty trained by 15 months.  She got mad at me when she could hear me laughing over the phone!! 

     

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  • What a great post to inspire ;)
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