Pregnant after a Loss

Over the phone?

How important do you think it is to tell your mom in person that you're pregnant?  My mom lives 1 1/2 hours away and I don't think we'll be able to get down there until late September for her 30th work anniversary party.  By then I will have told work etc.  I could probably squeeze a visit in with her, but DH would not be available to come.  Plus, if I tell her I'm coming to visit she will figure it out since I only visit for b-days, holidays and a few other times a year. 

I was thinking I could mail her the grandma's brag book and tell her to call me when it arrives? 

I'm torn.  What are your thoughts?  

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Re: Over the phone?

  • That sounds like a great idea to send her something as a way of telling her!  DH's family are all overseas so we told them by phone.  It wasn't as fun as in person, but it's hard to plan a special trip sometimes just to tell this kind of news.  I like your idea!
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  • If I could, I would love to tell my mom in person. ?It is a special moment I'd been hoping to share with her for a long time. ?However, I think it is a personal decision based on your relationship with your mom. ?An hour and a half is not that far away; you could drive out and surprise her. ?The brag book is a cute idea though. ?GL!
  • I had no choice but to tell mine over the phone. She lives 14 hours away.
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  • My mother is no longer with us, but my father lives in Indiana and we live in CT.  We almost never get to see him, so I was forced to tell him over the phone.  But he was just as happy to hear the news no matter where it was coming from.  I know it's different with your mom though.  I think sending her something is a great way of being there without actually being there.
  • From our experience no matter how you tell it is memorable and special. We sent an email with two attachments. The first was a word scramble that said "We're Expecting, This one's sticking!" The second attachment was a copy of the u/s and our due date. I made them look like cute little cards. So it was a bit of a game but they had fun trying to figure it out.

    Good luck. Another idea is to invite your parents to a restuarnt some where in the middle. Maybe there is a place that you can say you have heard great things about and want to try. They might be on to you but it will still be fun. 

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  • My parents live 1.5 hours away from us when they are not overseas. I drove and surprised my mom, so i could tell her. i knew that she would want to hear me say it as well as see me and make sure that i am doing well. I am very glad i did it this way.
  • imageMsZoeB:

    From our experience no matter how you tell it is memorable and special. We sent an email with two attachments. The first was a word scramble that said "We're Expecting, This one's sticking!" The second attachment was a copy of the u/s and our due date. I made them look like cute little cards. So it was a bit of a game but they had fun trying to figure it out.

    Good luck. Another idea is to invite your parents to a restuarnt some where in the middle. Maybe there is a place that you can say you have heard great things about and want to try. They might be on to you but it will still be fun. 

    I love how you told!  Such a unique idea.  My mom hates to drive.  The last time she drove up here was 2 years ago when I graduated with my Master's.  We have an up and down relationship.  I just don't think it would be as fun to go by myself without DH.  I don't want to delay it much longer because I think her feelings would be hurt.

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  • If you want I can send you the attachments...just send me your email address.
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  • the 1st time i was pregnant I told her over the phone, we lived 2 hrs away. And now we live 3,000 miles away from eachother so hse got a phone call again.
  • I love the idea of sending her a package and telling her to call you when it arrives! I think it would be great if you could tell your mom in person, but waiting until the end of September just seems like much too long to wait. I would go with the brag book idea. Are you going to include an u/s pic?
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  • imagemrstyson03:
    I love the idea of sending her a package and telling her to call you when it arrives! I think it would be great if you could tell your mom in person, but waiting until the end of September just seems like much too long to wait. I would go with the brag book idea. Are you going to include an u/s pic?

    If I end up going that route, yes I'll include a pic.  I did that for DHs mom last weekend.

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  • That's not that far away.  If you're sure she'd be there I think it would be worth the trip.  My parents and IL live in Indiana and Michigan so we had to tell over the phone because they were too far away.  I would have loved to tell them in person and see their faces, get hugs and all that good stuff.
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