We are loosing our baby... Our story...

roxyttandme · August 2009

We got a call Monday evening from our Doc - explaining that our baby has rare syndrome known as amnotic band. Bottom line- I will be delivering a stillborn some time later this week or next. At least one of our baby's legs are starting to amputate in vitro and we will not allow our child to endure that sort of misery and pain. The other leg could be soon to follow. In addition, there is a possiblity that a simular thing could occur to other body parts. I never thought in a million years that we would be faced with such a decision- but we have choosen the compassionate route. She will pass away this Thursday and be delivered later in the week or next.

DH and I are beyond words.... thoughts..... emotions....all we can manage to do is hold each other, hug and cry as we have done all day. We have to think of is what is best for our daughter and what is the humane thing to do. I couldn't imagine living through such pain- and will not allow our child to do the same.

This is not a time to be criticized, judged, flamed or to receieve negative posts. If that is your intent- please keep your thoughts to yourself. We are in enough pain- no need to endure more. We would never abort a baby under any other circumstances - espeically this far along. Our child has already suffered enough.

Thank you and goodbye for now... We hope to rejoin thebump soon.

DereKim · August 2009

i am so sorry...nobody on this board will flame you. take care and keep us posted.

here4u · August 2009

((HUGS)) no flames here. I am so so sorry. Keeping you & your family in my thoughts for a peaceful week.

3ltlones · August 2009

I am so very sorry, I can't imagine having to endure this or make any kind of decision on the matter at all. I'll be thinking of you, I hope that everyone here offers you the support that you are looking for. Take care of yourself and let us know when you need something.

ECUPirate04 · August 2009

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've never even heard of that but I'd never heard of my daughter's condition before she was diagnosed either.

Take care and please come back soon. This board is great.

tryingforbabyL · August 2009

Oh No! I am so very very sorry!

Part of me can sort of relate. While my pre-e progressed we had a moment when we had to decide if we could stick it out longer or take the baby. We decided to deliver the baby knowing the outcome.

Having just had a loss myself I would offer you some advice. Once you get home and get settled look to find someone to speak to. This is helping us. Also, dont be afraid to tell your family and friend that you need to be left alone, if that is what you are feeling. Finally, I am very thankful that we had a memorial mass for Hope. We celebrated the 22 weeks she was alive, and it gave us some closure.

Feel free to contact me if you need anything, I am sure you mind is racing. I have been there.

MrsF1021 · August 2009

Oh No! I'm so sorry you are going through this!

Thoughts and Prayers to you and your family this week!

someflower6 · August 2009

my heart broke reading your post. what a horrible thing for any parent to endure. i'm so sorry you are going through this. i know it is a measly consolation prize, but this board has been a great support to so many women. if you feel up to posting about what is going on in your life throughout all this, please do. and there is no way anyone here will flame you, or they will suffer the wrath of the rest of the board.

Kel&Jay · August 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. The ladies on this board are amazingly supportive and would never flame you. This is a place of comfort, not judgement.

Please feel free to vent as much as you need to here.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

samm1983 · August 2009

I am so sorry. I am sure this is a very difficult, indescribable, horrible time for you. We are here for you if you need to vent or whatever. I am so sorry for your loss.

monica92603 · August 2009

I am so so sorry for your loss. Hopefully we will both be back on the bump someday under better circumstances. Take time to heal and be sure to lean on your H for support.

TaraBrooks · August 2009

No flames here.

Your decisions are your and your alone. Your doing what's best for your daughter and others have to respect that.

I can't imagine making such a heartwrenching decision and applaud you for having the strength to do so.

I am so sorry for this loss, and I hope I see you back here under better circumstances. Until then you are in my thoughts.

roxyttandme · August 2009

Thank you ladies... Your kind words and support have brought tears to my eyes (not that they have been lacking recently). I will continue to post as we terminate tomorrow. I will most likely go to L & D during the next week and will keep you posted.

Thank you again. It really means a lot to us!

babes12 · August 2009

awe i'm so sorry you've come to the right place. i think we all understand and have compassion for you so please don't think you'd be judged or anything like that. we're hear for you to vent, yell, cry whatever you need to do.

i too experienced a late loss so if you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me.

i'm so sorry for what you're going through. thoughts, prayers and a bunch of hugs.

StephanieHicks · August 2009

I saw your post in 2nd tri, but wanted to respond to this one, hoping you'd get my response. I know you've received a thousand apologies, and I don't want you to think this is a trite condolence. As a whole, I'm sure everyone reading your story will have you in mind. I truly hope you are aware that you will be in my prayers, you and your family. Your daughter, I'm sure, would have grown to become beautiful and amazing. I know there are no words anyone can say to alleviate pain. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, and please know that you will be in my thoughts for a long time. Just a week behind you in your journey, I'm touched by what you're going through, and I will continue to pray for your family each time I pray for mine. Best of luck with everything. I hope for the best for you and your family with everything, and hope to see you around The Bump again soon.

lax15bsu · August 2009

This board is absolutely flame free. No one judges you. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, heartache, and the difficult decision you had to make. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

vml14 · August 2009

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My husband and I also chose to end our first pregnancy last year after our baby was given a fatal prenatal diagnosis at 21 weeks. It is a heartbreaking choice to make... but one made only out of love and concern for your child. I'll be thinking of you and your little one in the week to come. Hang in there, and hold on tight to your DH and your family. You will get through this, I promise.

smileychic10986 · August 2009

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. That just breaks my heart what you must be going through right now. Like pp said, no one is here to judge you. We have all had our own experience with losses, and don't expect anyone to judge our decisions either.

You are a very strong woman for being able to make that decision for your daughter. Having a memorial service for her may help you be able to say a proper goodbye to her. She is your daughter, and you are making the decision you feel is best for her. She will always be your angel baby, watching you from above.

Feel free to come here and post anytime you want, about anything you want. I am just so sorry you are dealing with this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this heartbreaking time.

KKM · August 2009

I am so, so sorry. You are making probalby the hardest decision a parent could ever make...I cannot imagine. You are doing what is best for your sweet baby girl. I will be thinking of you and hope you find some peace. Again, I am so sorry...

mrs.dovey · August 2009

I am terribly sorry for your loss and can actually easily relate. In 2004, I had to make the same decision as you for the same cause. Amniotic Band Syndrome. A band had wraped around my sons stomach and had caused so many problems that his chance of survival was 0. There is a wonderful ABS group through yahoo. Also I have done intensive research on ABS and if you would like to know more or have questions, please feel free to ask. My email is imacountrygal82@yahoo.com Once again, i'm sorry!

priya&peter · August 2009

I just wanted to chime in and say that you are in my prayers. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I wish you lots of courage and healing. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are having to endure this.

jumagirl · August 2009

I can't even begin to fathom what you are going through. Certainly no flames here, but big hugs and lots of condolences on the loss of your precious little girl. I will be praying for you and hope that you find the support and peace that you need to get through this difficult time.

smacb · August 2009

I'm so sorry.

Eviebee · August 2009

I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you and your husband.

Tapsalteerie · August 2009

You will receive no negativity on this board. I'm truly sorry for what you are having to go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I, too, had to make a painful decision similar to yours; one that would result in my little girl no longer suffering. The most important piece of advice I can offer you is to keep your loved ones even closer than before. They will be the ones that will provide the strength that you need in order to heal.