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Moms who have had a stillborn or baby that passed

2bmrs.ifbbpro2bmrs.ifbbpro
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Hi ladies,

I know this is a very sensitive topic, but if you can help I would be extremely grateful! I have a girlfriend that had her little girl pass away while she was delivering her (Her cord was knotted & wrapped around her neck). I want to do something for my friend & her husband, while respecting the fact that they are grieving the death of their beautiful baby girl. If you could tell me what would have helped you while you were going thru this tramatic time that might give me some ideas.

Thank you again.

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Re: Moms who have had a stillborn or baby that passed

  • BriAZBriAZ

    I personally have not had a late loss or still born, but I know a lot of ppl suggest taking them meals so they dont have to cook.

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  • DavezWifeDavezWife member

    this is asked daily here, so you can look through the posts below for ideas, and there's also a list right above your post of ideas.

    My thoughts are with your friend.

    https://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/miscarriage-and-loss/qa/comforting-a-loved-one-whos-had-a-miscarriage.aspx#read_answers

     

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  • JennyTomJennyTom

    Meals helped us.  There is a lady who had a loss and she wrote a whole blog about how to help.. hope she doesn't mind me posting here, but maybe you can find an idea there..

     

    https://lookingforbluesky.blogspot.com/2009/06/drowning.html

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  • TapsalteerieTapsalteerie member

    Offering meals is a good suggestion.

    I received a bouquet with a teddy bear attached to it after our loss.  I seriously use that bear for comfort whenever I am down.

    I've heard of people who give something to help memorialize the baby (necklace, a plant).

    Even just sending a card lets her know that you are thinking about her and want her to know that you are there if she needs someone.

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  • CarrieLeigh84CarrieLeigh84 member

    My daughter was stillborn. I think the best thing that someone could have done for me is actually acknowledged the magnitude of the loss. Some people don't really grasp that even almost 1 year later, the bf and I struggle with it daily.

    For me, meals anyone gave me were just wasted. I couldnt eat for days. I would suggest something to help her 'escape' a good book (That DOESN'T involve babies, pregnant women etc) or a night out at the movies once she's ready. A mental break from the heartache is the best gift anyone could give. 

    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
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  • coolteacher79coolteacher79

    I am so sory to hear of your friend's loss.

    I wrote a blog post on "How to Help a Grieving Friend" and outlined several helpful things there...

    https://sgirl79.blogspot.com/2009/03/how-to-help-grieving-friend.html

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  • laurncui812.0laurncui812.0 member
    We were greatful for meals that people just dropped at the door. We didnt have to cook and we didn't have to face anyone or talk to anyone. Also, gift cards for meals are great too. Especially if the restaurant delivers.
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  • DontblinkDontblink
    I definitely agree that the best thing you can do is to listen and acknowledge that they had a baby and it is a huge part of them. I had a stillborn son and since then have a given birth to another healthy baby and it is still something I struggle with everyday.
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  • KAG30KAG30
    One of the things that helped me the most was a little wooden angel, whenever I look at it I know that my girls are ok and are in a good place. 
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  • lewis514lewis514

    I think definitely being there. Ask them what they need or if someone is organizing things (meals, errands, grocery store etc.). I know alot of women don't like to be alone so maybe be there when her husband/family isn't around.

    We got some meals and snack baskets. Snack and fruit baskets were great bc we didn't feel like real meals for the first few weeks.

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