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Baby Names
nms vs. that name really sucks--drawing the line
Hello fellow bumpies!
We've all seen some kind of terrible names go by on this board. How do we respond?
I've seen a few threads go by where a poster seems to be asking for an opinion, and seems upset by specific critiques. I've also seen some posters take a few too many liberties in saying exactly what they think of a name.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: nms vs. that name really sucks--drawing the line
i think theres a difference between saying nms or saying "i don't like it at all" and being down right rude. I think there are many people out there that say things online that they would never in a million years say to someone's face!
asking for an opinion does not mean, "if you hate this name, rip me to shreds please!" lol!
having said that, there are also people that take message boards way too seriously and are too sensitive to criticism....
I've been wondering what ppl mean when they say NMS. Isn't that just a way of saying you don't like it? Or are you saying it's an ok name, but not one you would actually use? (in which case, you still must not like it very much or you would consider using it).
NMS= not my style
Some of the acronyms on the board confuse me. Like I know DH refers to hubby; DD, daughter; etc... but what's the first D? And what's BFP? Is there a glossary somewhere?
I think "Gosh, that name is extra-special terrible" or "That is so mean to name a kid that!" is overdoing it. But "too trendy, spelling is confusing, doesn't flow well, etc." is fair game. If people want to give the name a test run here, I think it's okay to point out some specific concerns before the ink on the birth certificate is dry.
Really, not all names are created equal. There are millions of really solid names from all different corners of the world... why saddle the kid with something that is going to limit them?
IMO NMS names are names that are common/traditional, heard of that I just do not like and would never use for my child
Horrible names are names made up, spelt way too creative.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
The glossary is at the bottom left of under all the boards. Here is the link:
https://talk.thenestbaby.com/boards/glossary.html
there are certain times when reponses are just rude. IMO, that's uncalled for.
as pps said, NMS, doesn't flow, hard to spell, etc. are legitimate comments, and probably what the poster is looking for.
"is this a joke?" or comments about the poor, suffering child are not appropriate responses, even if the names are not your style.
I'm not saying that there ever is an excuse to be flat out rude, but I think it is appropriate to think about the kid when naming him/her. Obviously, if someone comes on here suggesting the name Trainwreck or Hitler, then yea...I'm probably going to have a comment about the "poor, suffering" child.
That said, just be nice :P
My mother taught me that everyone has an opinion and its neither right nor wrong, because it's just that, THEIR opinion.
I agree that some responses are unnecessary but I think NMS is perfectly fine. It states that it just isn't your style or what you would chose, doesn't necessarily mean (to me) that you are responding negatively.
and I agree w/pps about flow, speling, etc.
I just think to each his/her own and we all have opinions.
Also check out Bump Unofficial Glossary
I use NMS to say that the name isn't terrible, just not something I'd use or choose. Otherwise, if someone is asking for opinions, I give it. If the name is terrible (esp if the spelling is terrible) I let the poster know what I'm thinking. Take it or leave it, that's the OP's choice.
I agree that I've seen people go beyond being nice to just "rip a name to shreds" as a PP put it. In general, I don't see the point in being rude when you don't like something, post that you don't like it (and maybe why) and move on.
However, this is a public message board and we're asking each other for OPINIONS. If you put yourself out there, brutally honest answers are always a possibility!!
I agree. Just saying "NMS" isn't really that helpful if someone is asking what you think--WHY isn't it your style? But then explaining why is always going to sound like criticism, and some people just aren't comfortable with that. I think this board is helpful so parents know what people will say behind their back if they give their child a certain name. Of course I would never tell a new parent to his/her face that I think the name they've chosen is atrocious, and I hope no one else would either.
well, there's always an exception for idiocy, right?
the "just be nice" sentiment is exactly what i was going for.
I'm not a person who will sugar-coat things or pat someone on the head when they're obviously just looking to validate their decision.
So yeah, I've been blunt on here. But I also try to give a REASON why I think a name is not good. Just saying it sux or NMS isn't helpful.
If you come here asking for opinions, you have to take the good with the bad. Too many people come here just for validation, not opinions.
Sorry, but if you ask my opinion I am going to give it.I am not sure why everyone is concerned what others think anyway. You can tell by reading posts what the majority of peoples tastes are anyway. If you slip from the "norm" chances are you will get a horrible or 2.
I picked the name of my child without asking peoples opinions. Yes I did ask opinions on spelling it, since in the name book there was various spellings, but I went with what my H and myself like. If no one else does, oh well, they can name their own.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
I am honest with my opinions. I don't get my feelings hurt easily so it surprises me when people get offended that everyone doesn't LOVE their name choices. Who the heck cares?! This is a public message board and I'd rather get honest advice (even if it is rude) than sugar coated responses. Clearly I'm in the minority though..
Oh yeah, also when I say NMS that means it's not my style or I dislike/hate it. When I say I hate it, I get called "rude" so now I just say NMS.?
I agree with PP. If you don't want an honest opinion don't ask for one. If you want yes or no, then just do a poll and don't let anyone give any reasons.
I would absolutely tell people IRL that i think the name is horrible IF they asked me. Most people IRL do not come up to people and say hey do you like this name or that name, like people do here.
If i don't want people's honest opinions I wouldn't ask. NMS usually is good enough, but sometimes they are horrendous and I have no problem saying so.
I'd rather have people tell me EXACTLY how they feel, than to just give me a blank NMS!
If you're asking for opinions from strangers on a message board, you need to be a big girl and take the responses for what they are- opinions from strangers on a message board.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
This. Otherwise they shouldn't ask for opinions they should ask for reasons their names are great or for people to tell them why they love the names.
I think it's fair to give your opinion, but at the same time, I don't really care much about the people who say NMS or "too trendy" because that's the issue - they don't agree with me and I probably wouldn't agree with them either since we clearly have differing views on style and naming. I think a lot of the names on here are horrid and I can't IMAGINE naming my child some of them, but I just don't bother to type NMS usually because I figure that isn't a helpful response.
I do comment on spelling since I am a teacher and I see how difficult it can be for kids and how quite frankly, it's not good for reading development in some cases! I think the comments about nicknames and whether a name is mature enough are sorta valid, but usually pointless because again, I don't usually agree with anyone who says anything about that stuff.
What I DO think is uncalled for is when people say things like "I'm sick of that name". Someone said that to me about two of my names - which are not very popular actually but must be in that person's area - and I was offended that they said it that way. I think it's rude. If you don't have anything productive or nice to say, why say anything at all? If you try to convince people not to name their child the way they want, won't that mean they may choose names you like and (HORROR OF HORRORS) drive up the popularity of your favorite names?
That's just my take on the general responses I see. I don't think there is any need for rudeness. I will admit that sometimes the names are so outrageous, you can't help but say "poor kid" - especially with kreeatif spellings - but in most cases, it's not polite or helpful.