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How do you break this news?

araceli76araceli76
in Infertility
So I still haven't had my follow up with my obgyn after having my u/s and having the technician tell me it looks like I have pcos.  DH and I have been ttc for about a month before my irregular periods sent me to the doctor.  EVERYONE has been bugging us about when we're going to get pg since we have been married for a year now. Now how do we address this with them?  They range from FIL to cousins and aunts and uncles...so confused and a depressed about this.... 
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Re: How do you break this news?

  • kimarino13kimarino13 member
    I would tell them to mind their own business. 

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  • katieranck2202katieranck2202
    You can tell them that you are certainly trying, but some issues have come up that may require a doctor's help. Be as open or closed as you want, but be firm in what you say. PCOS isn't just about infertility, but whole health being, so I would certainly be concerned to get checked out.
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  • nikinikininenikinikinine member

    we had a lot of family pressure from DH's side for a LONG time. For the first year of our TTC I kept our business to ourselves and when asked when we were starting a family I simply said "maybe someday". Only our parents knew we were trying.

    Once we moved onto the RE I sent everyone an email explaining what we were going through and what the next steps for us are. I now send out monthly updates.

    Do what you're comfortable with. And if you have signs of PCOS definitely get to a doctor.

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  • BeccaLandesBeccaLandes member
    I have always said that we are ready and eager to start a family, but things aren't going as planned.  I'm really open about our (or should I say my, since his sperm are fine?) fertility problems.  Everyone has been understanding and supportive.
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  • cadencaden member

    It's up to you and your DH as to whether or not you share this personal info. It's not their business, so don't feel badly if you don't want to tell them. Keep in mind that if you do tell them the nosy questions/annoying advice won't stop - they'll just switch to IF topics instead.

    I've been married 5 years and still haven't found a good response to the annoying questions. Usually I just tell them we're not sure when we're going to conceive and then change the topic.

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  • MouseygailMouseygail member
    My MIL took care of her side for me...i was a little surprised that they weren't asking us questions about when they were going to see a little one from us this weekend at a wedding..and then some of the cousin's my age pulled me aside and asked me about clomid and stuff...apparently my mil told them so they knew now to ask...i really appreciated it! :) 
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  • Sunshine05Sunshine05 member

    We just said that we were going to want to wait a few years before having kids to just have the "us" time in our early years of marriage... without anyone knowing that we were hoping for a honeymoon baby!  Ha, little did I know then!  I think telling everyone that, they all agreed with us... "oh yeah, take that time, you'll never get it back after you have kids, yadda yadda yadda" so it went over well with everyone. 

    Now we're starting to get the "Alright, you've had your alone time for 4 years... when are the kids coming?!" and we've just had to come up with excuses where we can.  Are cats keep us busy enough... we just built a house, getting settled into that... not ready for kids just yet... whatever we can come up with.  Next year when we start treatments, I'll probably open up more about things.  Sorry... hopefully this will help you out some.  Good luck!

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  • araceli76araceli76
    Thank you all for your honesty and support, I am definitely going to follow up with my obgyn, just waiting for them to let me know if the doctor has reviewed my b/w and u/s. I'm impatiently waiting on them..... thanks again!
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  • nygrl79nygrl79
    We just tell everyone "Eventually, we are not in a rush" and leave it at that.  It is not their business.
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  • Romeo&DeniseRomeo&Denise member

    We have been married for 4 years now... still getting the same question. I personally am in the IF closet with everyone except for both our parents. For everyone else, I just tell them that we're enjoying our time alone for now. I'm assuming they'll stop asking eventually.

    It's really up to you on how open you want to be about it, personally I don't feel that it's anyone else's business.

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  • Babsie7Babsie7 member

    I agree with pp. It's really a comfort level decision. My mom and MIL know and I've told some of my closest friends. My dh doesn't feel comfortable discussing IF but I finally convinced him to tell his mom because she would ask us everytime we saw her about when she was going to get her 1st grandchild. Now that we've told her she's laid off and been supportive. It's difficult but with most people I'm still in the IF closet and try to dodge the pg questions.

    Good luck to you! 

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