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I finally got AF, so why am I a wreck?

bonnieblue1bonnieblue1
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Yesterday I woke up and realized that after waiting seven weeks and eagerly anticipating AF so we can TTC (My Doc says waiting only one cycle is necessary so we are both anxious as hell) it finally came!....Only I was thinking my emotions would be more like that explanation point and less like feeling as though I just went through the entire miscarriage all over again.

I'm a wreck, and I'm not sure why. For the last three weeks or so, I hadn't cried over the last pg a single time, even when I had to go shopping for baby boy presents for my best friend who just delivered (we were expecting a boy).  Yet after AF hits, I can't look at a pregnant lady without losing it, and yesterday, in front of our company visiting for a couple weeks a Gerber commercial came on TV and I had to leave the the room for thirty minutes while I had a nervous breakdown.

What the hell is wrong with me? It's like I'm back to square one?!?! This kind of blindsided me and I'm considering the possibility that maybe we should sit this cycle out.  If I can't handle AF this well...who knows how I will act if *God willing* I get a positive test?

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Re: I finally got AF, so why am I a wreck?

  • KateAndMarkKateAndMark

    I was the same way when AF came for the first time. I think it's because it's a harsh reality that you are in fact, no longer pregnant.

    Big hug hun.

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  • grr_aarghgrr_aargh member
    imageKateAndMark:

    I was the same way when AF came for the first time. I think it's because it's a harsh reality that you are in fact, no longer pregnant.

    Big hug hun.

     This was absolutely the case for me.  My first AF was *really* hard.  I couldn't put my finger on it other than it was some "normalcy" that really shouldn't have been there because I should've been pregnant.  Every AF subsequent my loss came to be difficult to me for that reason, I think.

    Welcome to the world, Baby Grr!

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  • Leah&ColeLeah&Cole member
    imageKateAndMark:

    I was the same way when AF came for the first time. I think it's because it's a harsh reality that you are in fact, no longer pregnant.

    Big hug hun.

    Exactly this.  Things will turn around.... hang in there!

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  • vkbaby09vkbaby09
    I have not had my AF visit yet (shoot I just stopped spotting a few days ago it seems!), so I'm not exactly sure how I'll react, but it sounds like how you're taking it is totally normal.  I'm also thinking, besides what pps have said, that your hormones are at play too.  Nothing's wrong with you at all.  I hope you start to feel better and know that we're here for you.  ((((((((big hugs)))))))))
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