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It's crazy what can happen in 6 months

vkbaby09vkbaby09
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Six months ago today I had my IUI.  We were so excited to potentially be parents.  Then even more excited when we found out it worked and I was pregnant.  Then a super rollercoaster ride of finding out we had five babies and all that happened after that.  And now I have none.  It's just wild what can happen in 6 months!  I just wish I was still pregnant so I could look back at all that I've been through with more positivity.  Now it's hard to be positive about anything.  I feel like I'm falling back into so much negativity about everything...not even just baby stuff.  My DH is mad that I'm so down, that I don't have positive energy.  I know he doesn't think that life's that bad, and I guess it could be way worse, but we have been through a lot, so even little things right now are getting to me too much.  I'm unable to let things just flow.  Anybody else feeling this way and reacting like me?  At the rate I'm going, my DH won't want to make anymore babies with me...and that just makes me more sad and anxious.  Ahhh I have to get out of this!!!

Well, thanks for reading and being there for me.  I appreciate it so much! 

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Re: It's crazy what can happen in 6 months

  • KateAndMarkKateAndMark

    Oh yes, I totally get it. Some days DH just ask me what's wrong with me and all  I can tell him is I'm sad about the twins, to which DH replies, you have to get over that, which of course, does not help.

    I'm not sure we will ever be over this totally. I think the pain will be easier once we have living children but it's sitting on the starting line, or behind the line, not knowing if we will ever get to the finish line. It's like a marathon with tons of hills that will never end.

    BIG HUG!

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  • irishmama13irishmama13
    I wish I could tell you the positivity gets easier. I guess that's true on some days. Other days, for me, it's not. Little things still bother me a year later. And I do not handle stress like I used to. We actually have had a more stressful and drama-filled year than years past and that has been harder to handle too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Losing 5 babies in 6 months is a huge loss. I can't imagine - I don't think it would be easy to be positive about much. Hang in there. Big hugs to you.
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  • angelsmileangelsmile member

    DH's don't go through what we do with pg loss stuff.  I'm not saying they don't feel it and they don't greive, but it isn't the same.  Perhaps it's time you talked to a therapist or counselor to help you, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and perhaps they could help your DH and you see eye to eye better with all of this.

     Your circumstances may have been different, but you are not alone. 

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  • lewis514lewis514

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way, unfortunately it is a normal part of the whole process.

    Also, remember that you're hormones are all over the place right now as your body tries to get back into balance. I felt like it took 6 weeks for my hormones to become more "normal"

    You've been through a tremendous amount in a short period of time, you may want to talk to your physicians about PPD or even PTSD. I know for me, they really stressed to be on alert for this (and told my husband to watch me closely). I'm not saying this is your case but just want to mention it.

    I go up and down with how I feel. I started exercising again (a big part of my life pre-pregnancy) and that has helped me alot. It's giving me more energy and making me feel better about myself.

    Take Care.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 4/9/09 - Chloe, our angel twin Lilypie First Birthday tickers>
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  • 3ltlones3ltlones member
    I am so sorry that you have gone through so much in the last 6 months, that is just so much for one person to take.  I understand about your DH, they just don't and won't ever feel the same feelings that we do when we lose our babies.  We are the ones that carried them and felt the life inside of us.  My DH makes comments like that as well, I just try to ignore because I don't want to cause anyone to be upset.  I hope that with a little more time you start to feel better, it will never go away though.  My first loss was 3 years ago and I still think about the what ifs often.  It has been over 2 months since losing Zoe and I still cry daily for her.  Hugs.
    DD(9)DD(5.5)DS(3)DS(born 2/1/11) July 2006, lost a baby at 8 weeks, natural miscarriage , May 2009 lost Zoe Eliana at 17 weeks no reason known, possible under developed organs. Lost two more babies in September 2009 at 7 wks 4 days. Had myomectomy surgery to remove a large fibroid in November 2009.
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  • HolanchiHolanchi

    I know how you feel.  After trying for 2 years, we got pg with triplets.  We were concerned about the complications even from that and reduced to twins to try and ensure the best chances for the pregnancy.  I was just thinking that the past 6 months have been nothing but worry and a LOT of $$$ and now we have absolutely nothing to show for it.  And now, unless I'm one of those miracle women who magically ovulate after being pg, we're probably going to have to do it all over again.  And I won't even be able to enjoy it bc I"ll be worried that the same thing will happen again.  At least not until I make it past 22 weeks.  But that's a long time to not enjoy being pg.

    It sucks that the joy of TTC has been taken from us bc of infertility isssues....and now the joy of being pregnant will never be the same either.  That's what I find myself getting down on.

    Even though we just lost the babies, we're planning a vacation in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping the change of scenery and the alone time w/ DH helps.

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  • babes12babes12 member

    i'm so sorry your feeling this way but you're by no means alone. 

    i have my good and bad days.  but i also worry about how DH will react if i'm down for too long etc...but maybe it's different for girls since we're the ones that carry the baby(s) and they should be understanding of our emotions. 

    i hope things turn around for you and you start to feel more positive soon. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 8.15.07 NATHAN 6.13.09 - 6.14.09 WYATT born 32w3d Gone too soon, RIP. 4.21.10 BFP - missed m/c - D&C on 5.27.10. 1.31.11 BFP - 1st cycle IUI + Follistim + Trigger (2 mature follies)Beta 1 @ 13dpiui: 199 Beta 2 @ 15dpiui: 527 10.7.11 ELIANA(Ellie)ROSE (39w3d)Team Green turned Team Pink - VBAC & ALL NATURAL 6lbs 11oz 19 &1/2in
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  • smileychic10986smileychic10986

    You are definetily not alone in your feeling that way.  I try so hard to be positive about things, and the best way for me to usually do that is to push it all out of my head when I do think about it.  But then when I really do think about the fact that I am supposed to be pregnant right now, an I'm not I just get so emotional.  My fiance gets upset when I get that way.  He thinks I should be over it, and be able to get6 on as he does.  Not to say that he isn't upset by it, we just handle things differently.

    But anyways, I'm just letting you know, I know how you feel.  And I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  You've been through so much more than me even, I can't imagine how you must feel.  You have every right to feel the waqy you do though.  You have been through so much loss, in so little time.  Your angel babies are watching out for you now.  I wish I had some magic words (or dust!) to make you feel better.  All I can say, is time will help heal... 

    Just take life one day at a time.  It's all you can do.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your children.  (((BIG HUG to you!!)))

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  • rose76rose76

    I am so sorry for your losses. I went through that with each m/c. I was freaked out after my 3rd m/c. I was really depressed for a long time..and then I decided to get myself together. I decided that I can't let this determine my life and started really getting healthy, etc...of course I had that setback last week, but we are not perfect creatures. I wish people could understand how much this hurts, but many do not...Best of luck to you

    R

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  • dmsmthdmsmth member

    First off I really hope my ticker does not hurt you, but I really felt like I needed to respond.

    ((hugs)) first of for your losses.

     What you are going through is totally normal.  My DH had said on numerous ocassions had I not changed my outlook that he would not want to TTC again.  i was so down and so unhappy he didn't know how to respond to me.  He got our friends involved and it only made matters worse.  I wound up going to counceling and I told him the only way I would go is if he went to a meeting with me.  I'm glad he did because he opened up and I found out why he racted the way he did.  In a guys perspective it is in their nature to try and fix things, to make their wife feel better and when he couldn't do that he was at a loss.  He would say things that would only make matters worse.  I wound up keeping everything to myself because whatever i said to try and get out it would come back and bite me in the but. 

    Whatever you do, get your emotions out and dont bottle them up.  As much as I avoided and trued to get out of counceling, it really tryly helped.  It may just be what you need to move forward.

    ((hugs)) again.  I hope everything works out for you.

    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14


    My Ovulation Chart
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