WWYD today in this situation....

camrude · July 2009

Met a gf at the park today. M was having "one of those days". Not listening, whining, etc., etc. When we were leaving my gf and I were standing on the sidewalk, M was beside me. She starts walking to the street I told her to come stand by me until I was done talking with my gf. She came right back. About 10 seconds later she goes "hey mommy, I'm not listening to yoooouuu" (in a snotty voice) and then runs into the street laughing.

What would've you done right then and there (after getting her out of the road)? ??

[BTW - not that this matters, but it's not a super busy street because the only thing on it is this park and people drive really slow because there are kids everywhere.]

?

sarahslost · July 2009

Sigh. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I honestly would have swatted her. She purposely disobeyed you, and obviously knew what she was doing.

My DD fully understand why she should not go into the street, so if it were us in that situation, that's what I likely would have done.

xbrooklyngrl · July 2009

I would've given her a swat on her butt.

Mrs.LB705 · July 2009

IMMEDIATE time-out and loss of a privilege. Ugh, I hate when they do scary crap like that!

JellymanKelly · July 2009

A swat, then we would have gotten in the car immediately to go home and there would have been no fun privileges for the rest of the day (Noggin, ice cream, train-building, etc). I don't mess around with playing in the road. A child doesn't necessarily know the difference between a busy street and one that isn't busy, so the fact that cars go slowly through there wouldn't have mattered to me.

Dougsgirl4ever · July 2009

sarahslost:

Sigh. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I honestly would have swatted her. She purposely disobeyed you, and obviously knew what she was doing.

My DD fully understand why she should not go into the street, so if it were us in that situation, that's what I likely would have done.

This

LeoChic · July 2009

I would have got her out of harm's way and then got down on her level, eye to eye, and explained the danger that she had put herself in simple, easy, quick terms. Then she would have been made to sit in the grass/on a bench for 3 minutes (time out period for my DD since she's 3).

How is she supposed to understand why you tell her no to certain things if you don't explain yourself? IMHO, a swat on the butt does nothing but maybe scares them but it doesn't give them the opportunity to be taught a valuable lesson.

isabella22 · July 2009

Got her out of the street, got down to her level and told her that going in the street is very dangerous and that listening to mommy is very important.

Then I would have told her that she loses X (toy, priveledge, etc) for some amount of time and put her in her stroller, carseat, or had her sit on the ground in time out.

Temp108743750006959 · July 2009

running into the street would have been a swat and I'm not a spanker. I also would have yelled eye to eye and done a time out there and then. I am also not a yeller! but running into the street is seriousshiz

camrude · July 2009

So this is what I did. Pulled her out of the street. She did not get a swat. Not because I'm against it, but because she's been spanked/swatted before and it did not change her behavior.She did get the "we DO NOT go in the street. The street is dangerous. Do you understand?" She did not say anything. So I asked her to repeat what I just said, which she did.She was put in the car. We were supposed to go for coffee and a mini scone (her favorite thing to do) we did not go. That was the mother of all tantrums. Went home, sat in her room until lunch which was about 15 minutes. Ate lunch, went to bed and when she wakes up we are not making cupcakes like we were going to do.???

LeoChic · July 2009

vccake:
running into the street would have been a swat and I'm not a spanker. I also would have yelled eye to eye and done a time out there and then. I am also not a yeller! but running into the street is seriousshiz

So just out of curiousity...and I'm only quoting you because you happened to be the last person in the thread but many of you have said (and I've seen it said here before) that because running in the street is a serious offense that it would warrant a spanking. Does that mean that I'm treating the situation less seriously because I'm talking to her and doing a time-out? Because I know that the tone of my voice and the look in my voice is very different from other wrongs that she does and she KNOWS that what she has done is VERY BAD. I'm not trying to flame and I know I'm also not very articulate today but I just wonder about the people who say they spank for running in the street because it's serious business. I don't see how choosing not to spank for that offense and doing what I do makes the offense any less serious or makes DD think it's less serious. I bet this makes no sense. I can't think today. I'm going on like 3 hours of sleep............

mikeandmonica · July 2009

Honestly, for my DS, when he does something dangerous (which isn't very often), talking to him calmly/time out/etc. doesn't work. For example, we were at the cabin doing yard work. The front yard has a relatively steep slope that goes down to the lake. We have told him that he cannot go further than a line we make with the hose (I know, kind of a dumb way to make a line, but there is no better option at the IL's cabin) because if he does it is dangerous and he could get hurt. He has repeated it to us, told his friend when she comes over while we are up there, etc. One day while we were doing some yard work in the front yard, he thought it would be funny to go running over the line and try to get down to the lake. We told him no, took away his rake (he thinks that is fun, I swear it isn't child labor), and put him in time out on the porch steps for 3 minutes. When he got up, we told him again why it was dangerous, brought him down to see the steep slope so he could see how dangerous it was, made sure he knew the rules about the hose, etc. Not even 15 minutes later, he was running over the hose to get to the lake. He was less than a foot away from going down the slope when we caught him. This time, I gave him a little swat on the butt (not hard, just something that he doesn't have happen often), and it was enough to make him realize we were serious about the danger. We sat down and talked about it (again), he said he understood. He hasn't even come CLOSE to going over the hose ever since. I think that for dangerous situations, you need to do whatever gets the kid's attention. All kids are different and that is what works for mine. We always try the other way first, but if that doesn't work, we won't hesitate to give him a swat (not hard). (and I know that isn't a popular opinion either).

Temp108743750006959 · July 2009

LeoChic:
vccake:
running into the street would have been a swat and I'm not a spanker. I also would have yelled eye to eye and done a time out there and then. I am also not a yeller! but running into the street is seriousshiz
So just out of curiousity...and I'm only quoting you because you happened to be the last person in the thread but many of you have said (and I've seen it said here before) that because running in the street is a serious offense that it would warrant a spanking. Does that mean that I'm treating the situation less seriously because I'm talking to her and doing a time-out? Because I know that the tone of my voice and the look in my voice is very different from other wrongs that she does and she KNOWS that what she has done is VERY BAD. I'm not trying to flame and I know I'm also not very articulate today but I just wonder about the people who say they spank for running in the street because it's serious business. I don't see how choosing not to spank for that offense and doing what I do makes the offense any less serious or makes DD think it's less serious. I bet this makes no sense. I can't think today. I'm going on like 3 hours of sleep............

it's ok, you can flame if you want! I spent a crapload of time teaching my son about the street from a very early age -- he did a lot of time out on the lawn with my neighbors watching and I don't regret a second.

He goes to the edge of the driveway way ahead of me and I don't even flinch -- he knows to stop. if he ran into the street it would either be willful or just a mistake. either way, he is likely getting a swat.

my tone and my voice change when DS hits a little boy or bites...both of those things happen rarely and when they do, he knows it from my tone, etc. But a 2,000lb car is going to kill him so yes, I am going to add a swat to make him remember.

btw, my parents didn't really spank. they did it 3x that I can really remember. one of them was running into the street b/c I was just playing around and not paying attention. never forgot it.

divakat · July 2009

That would have gotten a spanking from me. When safety is concerned, they need to listen or they get spanked.

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