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Sleep Help!
So we are trying to get Jacob on a schedule. We are doing a 3 hour rotation during the day (eat 30 min, awake an hour, sleep 1 1/2 hours). Then at night, we put him down after his 10 o'clock feed (usually about 10:45 when all is said and done). He then wakes up around 2-3 to eat which is fine but then wakes up again around 5. He is not hungry (as he just ate 2 hours prior) nor wet... he literally just wants to be cuddled back to sleep and when we do, he only sleeps for another 30-45 minutes. As he is almost 3 months old (granted he spent the first 2 months in the hospital), I don't think it is too much to expect him to sleep 8 hours at night with one waking to eat. As I said above, right now he goes 3 1/2 hours and then 2 more. What can we do??? Room is dark, baby crack machine and humidifier on. We have let him cry it out, but he will cry HARD for 20 minutes. Like hyperventilating hard. He has never once fell back asleep on his own after one of these crying sessions.Help!!!
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Re: Sleep Help!
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How much is Jacob eating at a time now? Or is he BF? Sorry, I can't remember. I think you're right that he could go that long in between feedings at his age if he's eating a good amount at one feeding, but at this point it seems like he just needs some time to get used to the schedule you want him on. Do you know what his schedule was like in the hospital? He may just be used to this wake time...like he could have been checked on around the time he keeps waking up at the hospital and that could be what is throwing him off...since that's all he has known outside of the womb. Just a thought.
Have you let him CIO multiple days in a row? We had to let Nora cry multiple days in a row for it to finally sink in with her. If we did checks, she just cried harder faster, so we quit doing checks.
What time is his last nap of the day? I think when Nora was Jacob's age, her last nap was from like 3-4:30 and then she was up for the rest of the night until bedtime, which was usually 9:30.
DD was sleeping more thru the night until a few weeks ago. She had been going to bed around 9, sleeping until 4:30 (waking up for a feeding), then sleeping in until around 7. Now, she's going to bed around 7:30, waking around 2 for a feeding, waking around 5 for a feeding, and finally getting up around 7:30. Of course those times could be plus/minus an hour, depending on the day.
STTN is officially 6 hours, I think. So, I think your assumption of 8 hours is a stretch. While it would be wonderful, I wouldn't expect it for a few more months.
How do you know he's not hungry at 5? DD, during the day, eats every 2 hours. And in the middle of the night, when she wakes up, she's definitely hungry, and I'd guess if I didn't feed her, she'd cry as you described. From what I've heard from others w/ babies my DD's age, it's normal to wake 2x/night to feed, so maybe Jacob is hungry at 5 too?
I agree w/ ECU that it's probably a little early for CIO, although that's just my opinion. Luckily my DD is a good sleeper (at least I think so) and her mid-night feedings and wakings don't bother me b/c she falls asleep as soon as she's done eating, so it's not tough on me really to wake up those two times with her. But then again, if she was NOT a good sleeper, I suppose I'd be willing to try CIO, or anything for that matter, but I just hope we don't have to use CIO anytime soon. I'd rather wait until I felt she really understood why I was letting her CIO. Who knows. LOL!
Good luck!
Yay! You described us!
What he is doing sounds about right. I think 8 hours is a lot to ask at that age. We would put Jocelyn to be around 6:30 or 7:00 and she would want a bottle around 2am then at 5 or 6. Even now at 5 months old, she still wakes sometimes and needs to be soothed to sleep at 3 or 4 am and then wants a feeding at 6am. The longest stretch you are probably looking at is what Mrs. M&M said, 8-2 or so! Six hours will probably be the max! Everything you are doing sounds normal/right. Just remember,most babies don't really STTN until about 9 months, and once you think they have, they ususally throw you for a loop, it is hard to have a set schedule at that age!
Also-we still don't do CIO. I just feel like before 6 months, that is way too early. The most we have let DD is 5-10 minutes, one night I didn't hear her and it was horrible trying to calm her down after lord only know how long she had been crying. It if is around a 3-4 hour strech where she hasn't been fed and is crying like that,that is hunger signs. I would use CIO for sleeping, not for waking/feeding times.
Totally normal. There are some nights I still only get 4 hours max. That is the joy of a new born baby!
I know it is super hard, but once I let go of wanting a schedule, and worrying about hours of sleep, timing, etc. things got a lot eaiser. If she wakes up and is hungry, I feed her, if she is sleepy, she goes back to bed. Eventually they will set their own schedule. It seems like the more sleep they are able to get, the better they sleep/nap. I've found keeping her up for the late feeding never really worked, and she would be up any way at 2:00am, so trying putting him down for the night early and see what happens.
Our looks somewhat like this (give or take an hour):
Last Bottle:7:00
Bed:7:30
Possible wake up for soothing: 4am
Bottle:5:00 or 6:00am depending on how bad she is crying, if she falls asleep with her paci again.
Nap:7:30am/8:00am
Then she eats every 4 hours with generally 3 naps a day, the last one being around 4 or 5pm.
Yep, it sucks for sure! And Liam's long stretch always started before I went to bed so I never got more than 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep for a looooong time. I thought I would lose it, but I survived!
I don't know exactly why, but all the sleep books recommend putting them to bed earlier to get them to sleep longer/better. Definitely worth a try!
I know it is SO hard. Those night feedings can be really tough. DS is 5 months, and wakes up 2x EVERY night to feed. He usually goes to bed around 8, wakes up at 12 and then again at 5. At 12 he wakes up and fusses, but doesn't really open his eyes to eat. But if I don't feed him fast enough he SCREAMS!
It's normal for babies to wake up often to eat, as much as we want them to do otherwise.
I try to remind myself that he is hungry, and just get over it. But when you're tired I know that is not easy! Are you back to work yet? If not, definitely try to nap when he naps during the day. Also, maybe you can go to bed before DS and let your DH do the 10pm feeding. Eight o'clock bedtimes sound better and better to me now!
Ditto ECU, I think he's young to CIO. My DS will fuss himself to sleep, but if he is crying I know he needs help. I will rock him for a few minutes before putting him back down. I think DS was able to soothe himself (from fussing) to sleep at about 3.5 months.
His sleep sounds about normal for a 3 month old. As others have said, STTN is only 5-6 hr stretches. It's more normal to not STTN until 9 mo of age than it is earlier than that -- if you LO STTN before 9 mo of age, you're lucky!
I agree with ECU, CIO at 3 mo is a bit too early (IMO). I'd try holding off until after 4 mo., at the earliest From what I've read, etc., babies aren't capable of self-soothing before 4 mo. old. With CIO, you're expecting them to be able to self-soothe and go back to sleep on their own. We tried CIO at 4 mo and it was a disaster -- we weren't successful with it till she was 5.5 mo.
At Jacob's age, I was still getting up 2 times a night to feed Natalie and her bed time was around 10-11 p.m. I don't think we were successful at getting her to go to bed earlier until closer to 4-5 mo old.
Things that worked of us: swaddling, white noise, and the swing.
Good luck!
This is where we are now. The last 3 nights, DS went to bed between 6-7p. We usually go to bed at 10, so I get those 2-3 hours. I hate that the most.
I think that the reason going to bed earlier helps some sleep longer is like our example. We were putting DD to bed around 9-10. Everythiing was great for a while, but then she started getting SUPER fussy around 8. We'd try to console her until her 'bedtime' of 9-10, but she never stopped fussing, and then seemed to be SO worked up that she had very interrupted sleep. We thought, heck, let's try to put her to bed when she starts fussing, and she went right to sleep and slept more soundly. A few weeks later, she started fussing at 7, so we bumped her 'bedtime' back to then.
Now, we just plan to get her ready for bed sometime in the 7 o'clock hour, depending how our day is going and how her mood is going. So while it doesn't seem to logically make sense (put to bed earlier to sleep later???), it does if your kid is calmer at bedtime instead of being a screaming, overtired mess. Make sense? LOL!
exactly this. We started sleep training last night and don't let him cry for longer than 30 minutes. You should read a few sleeping books like Healthy Sleeping Habits, Healthy Child or Ferber where they say that sleep training can start between 4-6 months. HSHHC says to comfort and soothe until about the same time. GL
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I think you've gotten some good advice, but I just wanted to tell you that it does get better! It is SO hard in those sleep deprived first few months. Can your DH get up with Jacob on the weekends so that you can at least get a couple good nights sleep?
HUGS!
It sucks and I'm sorry GreenEyes. That is hands down the worst part about having a newborn: sleep deprivation. Are you back to work now? It may help you, even though your husband has to work, maybe he could do the first night feeding? I know he has to work, but you also can't run yourself into the ground. Then you both would get a good stretch of sleep.
Also, and I think a PP touched on this, is that I've heard from friends that when you've had a baby in the NICU for a while, they get on a schedule there and get used to getting woken up frequently...which affects you once he's home...so it may take a while to get him used to being home? I'm not sure since I didn't have this experience, but something to think about.
GL!!
My Sweet Girls
I think you've gotten some really good advice. I just wanted to add that I think it's true about what they say about being in the NICU. Eli had his days and nights mixed up for a long time partially due to how things are in the NICU. He also stayed on the schedule they set for him there. So that might have alot to do with it. I know they bathed the babies on 3rd shift, so he got used to alot of stimulation at night.
But it was right about 4 months he STTN the first time (by my definition), from 9-5. So hopefully it won't be long before Jacob gets on a schedule that allows you some more uninterrupted sleep. Hang in there!