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frustrated/disappointed - childcare & cloth

Wubster042109Wubster042109
in Eco-Friendly Family

when we were pregnant, one of my IL's approached me about childcare.  IL is a SAHM & they've been struggling a bit financially.  so she put the idea out there to hire her to do our childcare.  it would be a win/win for everyone....we'd have a relative watching DD (aka, peace of mind for us) & she'd get to continue being a SAHM, yet make some extra money.

when we decided to try this arrangment, we had IL over to the house to talk things out & explain our expectations....one of the big things being that we had every intention of using cloth diapers & she had to be comfortable w/ that.

she said that she was.

well, its officially day 2 of her watching our DD full time.  yesterday when i picked DD up, she was wearing a disposable diaper.  IL quickly mentioned that it was exceptionally hot (they don't have a/c) and DD's bum got a bit of heat rash so IL put her in a disposable diaper figuring it would be cooler.  i thought this was strange because it was no hotter than it has been the past weeks & we haven't had any problems w/ heat rash on her bum.  but whatever.

then i got home & noticed there was only one dirty cloth diaper in the diaper bag, despite the fact that IL had watched DD for a solid 9 hours. and the cloth diaper in the wet bag just so happened to be the one i had put on DD that morning.  i opened the diaper bag & sure enough, IL hadn't used even one cloth diaper.

 

today i go to pick up DD after work & IL tells me that she's given it her best shot but she just can't bring herself to use the cloth diapers.  she says to me, "it stunk so bad when i went to change her diaper it was disgusting.  i almost threw up all over the baby.  i gave it my best shot but i just can't do the cloth diapers."

her best shot?  the only diaper in the wet bag, once again, is the one i put on DD this morning.  and i haven't had one stink issue w/ our diapers. i honestly think she's leaving the cloth diaper on for a good 4-5 hours and, yeah, no wonder it stinks!  

and what does she expect me to do now? i spent HUNDREDS of dollars on diapers.  we have a 3-day supply of pocket diapers.  now i'm suppose to NOT use them for the majority of week AND start purchasing disposables on top of it?  that's financially ridiculous.

if she had a problem w/ cloth diapers she should've opened her mouth & said something before she started watching DD full time.  i truly can't believe i walked into her house on day TWO & she looked me straight in the eye with, "i think cloth is gross.  i don't want to do it."  who's working for who here?

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Re: frustrated/disappointed - childcare & cloth

  • Lady GaladrielLady Galadriel member

    Hugs- family doesn't always understand.

    My aunt watched ds and I paid her. She gave him a mcD hamburger with everything on it them acted like I should dry clean her shirt after he threw the meat on her. Umm no, I told her he does not eat meat.

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  • PoonicoPoonico member

    I would tell her that this is your parenting choice and you want her in cloth.  This simply isn't her choice.

    If you're using something similiar to a disposable, there is no exuse.  I'd be livid if I picked up my daughter from my mom's or MIL's and she was in a disposable (unless for some insane reason they ran out of diapers).

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  • SWBs WifeySWBs Wifey
    I'd let her know you'll be looking for a new provider that WILL CD your child and until then, she can pay for QUALITY, CHEMICAL FREE disposables... Just me though...
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  • SapphyrEyesSapphyrEyes
    It's your decision and your child.  You're paying her to watch your baby.  Set the ground rules saying that she must be in cloth and she's to be changed every 2 or 3 hours.  Of course the diaper stinks if it's been on her all day.  DS night time diaper STINKS in the morning, but he's in it for 10-12 hours because that generally how long he's in bed.  If she won't comply then see if you can find someone else to watch your child.  If she needs the money badly enough she won't want to lose the income.  And I would be angry if I came home to DS to find him in a disposable especially when the diapers are already set up and ready to be put on just like a disposable.
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  • ash.fleaash.flea
    She is working for you, and she agreed to do this.  I think I would find someone else.  It really does sound like she must be leaving the diaper on for a long time, especially with the rash...
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  • AlirebcoAlirebco

    I don't understand her saying it stinks.  Wouldn't it stink if it was a disposable or cloth?  Especially if it's poop.  In fact, cloth smells better than disposables for us. 

    How much are you paying her?  Oh and I would NOT pay for disposables but I would tell her she needs to be in cloth, no exceptions.  

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  • Wubster042109Wubster042109

    We're paying her the same amount I would've been paying for the in-home daycare place I was considering.  In fact, I mirrored our agreement w/ her after the copy of the agreement I had gotten when we considered the in-home place.  I wanted this arrangement w/ IL to be completely legitimate. I did NOT want to walk into a situation where she was doing us a favor by watching DD 'cause I wanted this taken seriously....as a job.

    And now here we are.  I feel sick to my stomach.  I figured we'd have some bumps in the road at the start.  But for her to look me in the eye and pretty much say too bad, so sad, but I'm not doing this?

    If I did that in my job, I wouldn't have one for very long.  Has me worried as to exactly how seriously she's taking this.  Ya know?

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  • ash.fleaash.flea
    imageWubster042109:

    If I did that in my job, I wouldn't have one for very long.  Has me worried as to exactly how seriously she's taking this.  Ya know?

    I think this says a lot.  If she wasn't family you would not put up with behavior like this, and I don't think you should just because she is family.  I would bring DD to her in the morning with her CDs and tell her that she has to use them & change them every 2 hours.  Tell her that if she doesn't want to do things your way you will have to find someone else.

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  • MissyOlivePantsMissyOlivePants

    I nannied...and the kids were in cloth. I didn't ask questions because that's what they did. Yes - it could get gross, but I agree that sposies are worse. Ewww.

    I'd be upset and explain to her the deal with the dipes. Sucks it's family..

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  • SapphyrEyesSapphyrEyes
    imageWubster042109:

    We're paying her the same amount I would've been paying for the in-home daycare place I was considering.  In fact, I mirrored our agreement w/ her after the copy of the agreement I had gotten when we considered the in-home place.  I wanted this arrangement w/ IL to be completely legitimate. I did NOT want to walk into a situation where she was doing us a favor by watching DD 'cause I wanted this taken seriously....as a job.

    And now here we are.  I feel sick to my stomach.  I figured we'd have some bumps in the road at the start.  But for her to look me in the eye and pretty much say too bad, so sad, but I'm not doing this?

    If I did that in my job, I wouldn't have one for very long.  Has me worried as to exactly how seriously she's taking this.  Ya know?

    Oh HELL no!  You are shelling out some major money to this person and there is a contract.  She can follow the rules.  And if she refuses tell her that you'll be finding alternative arrangements and her services will no longer be needed.  Sposies smell way worse than cloth hands down.  Sorry, this is a business agreement, and during hours of watching your child this person is not family but the caregiver.  Sorry, when you replied this, her it stinks comment is a slap in the face and really made me angry.  And if she even thinks of using disposables again it should be at her expense for disposables that you approve!

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  • OneSimpleMomOneSimpleMom
    imageSapphyrEyes:

    Oh HELL no!  You are shelling out some major money to this person and there is a contract.  She can follow the rules.  And if she refuses tell her that you'll be finding alternative arrangements and her services will no longer be needed.  Sposies smell way worse than cloth hands down.  Sorry, this is a business agreement, and during hours of watching your child this person is not family but the caregiver.  Sorry, when you replied this, her it stinks comment is a slap in the face and really made me angry.  And if she even thinks of using disposables again it should be at her expense for disposables that you approve!

    I completely agree with SapphyrEyes...

    Disposables STINK after I change DD. Especially Huggies. Nastiness. I'd tell her that if she cannot use the cloth diapers, I no longer need her services.

     

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  • alumsden1alumsden1 member

    You should give her another chance by spending an afternoon with her and giving her a CD tutorial. Explain that you cannot afford to change your diaper plan AND pay for childcare. You should not have to compromise your decision to use CD. Let her know that you really want to have her watch the baby to give her business...but the CD is not negotiable.

     

    You mentioned she is in a financial bind? Then she should understand that you invested $$ on CD and want them to get used!

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