Friends with babies - venting

honeybee111 · July 2009

Several of my friends have babies already. I know they mean well, and they are excited for me, but it's getting to be a little much with the unsolicited advice. Yesterday, one of my friends asked me if I would be purchasing a baby video monitor. Now, I am only 13.5 weeks and haven't even really thought too much about purchasing anything, much less a video monitor. So, I told her I hadn't really thought about it, but I didn't think it would be an absolute necessary purchase like say, a carseat. Her response: "OH, you NEED the video monitor! I use mine ALL THE TIME." I may have been slightly hormonal and irritated, but I was kind of thinking, "Well, if it's so crucial that I have one, why didn't you just TELL me instead of asking me since I clearly have no idea what I'm talking about."

So, that was yesterday, and today I open my email and there is a HUGE long email from another friend about the damn baby video monitor because she had heard from Friend #1 that I wasn't sure about getting one. And it was just so condescending: just-wait-until-you-have-your-baby-then-you'll-understand. So, now I'm irritated and kind of glad these friends live 500 miles away. Although they said they were going to FLY down to help me register. I said no thank you, not necessary, I know you're busy with your kids, etc.

diana.filipi · July 2009

Sounds like they care is all.

MewMew · July 2009

That would irriated me too. I hate unsolicitied advice!!!!!

FWIW I don't think a video monitor is neccessary at all.

dionnemd10 · July 2009

hmm really? i would say thanks i'll take that into consideration. we have room monitors through our phone and really rarely used them. if you have a smaller home etc you will hear the baby-kind of a mom thing-you become very in tune to hearing your child!!! a friend of mine had a video monitor and that was because her high tech work place got her one as a gift.

minda31807 · July 2009

Your baby, your choices. Like you said, you know they mean well but yes it can get annoying. Take it with a grain of salt, weigh your options and come up with a solution that works for you, your SO and your baby.

EMTX · July 2009

At least you have friends who you'll be able to relate to. It's nice that they care and are offering advice.

I would love some.

I am the only one of my girlfriends who is married, let alone pregnant. My friends are all still single and have no clue.

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · July 2009

In my family we have a saying...that only my family actually knows the true meaning. Unsolicited advice that we could give a sh!t less about gets the "Thanks for your opinion....I'll take that into consideration" Basically means "Eff off and shut up." But sounds much nicer. ;-)

kob227 · July 2009

While it's nice to have friends to be able to talk to, I would also be annoyed with the unsolicited advice. Even after I have this baby, I don't think I'll know enough to give advice to anyone.

Oh well, I like pp's suggestion of "Thanks for your opinion....I'll take that into consideration"

bbowie · July 2009

We have a monitor and never used it. Seriously, don't go nuts buying a bunch of crap. Stores will still be open after you have your baby - if you find a need for something after the baby arrives you can run out and get it...not to mention it's a good reason to get out. Just get the basics.

jenn&Dave2005 · July 2009

bbowie:
Stores will still be open after you have your baby -

So true, but so hard to remember some times :P

bbowie · July 2009

jenn&Dave2005:
bbowie:
Stores will still be open after you have your baby -
So true, but so hard to remember some times :P

I know - I didn't heed the advice myself. You should see the pile of unused stuff we have. =D

jennymariee · July 2009

I didn't have a lot of friends to turn to for registering advice when my DD was born... we ended up with some great buys and some wrong decisions.

Maybe its just that your friends find the video monitor an absolute must and are excited to share where they didn't have anyone to get advise from.

Personally, we went without the video monitor and have kicked ourself for that decision so much even now as she's older... and it would be ideal for once we switch her to her toddler bed. So much so that we are talking about getting a dual video system for both rooms so we can see the crazy toddler and the newborn

If you aren't ready to think about those decisions just let them know your not ready for all that info and that you'll be sure to ask for recommendations when the time comes (whether you do or not, it will probably get them off your back).

I truly do think they were trying to help but making those decisions is overwhelming and it is up to you!!!

HTH

JulieandBen · July 2009

It sounds like they are trying to be helpful.

I don't have a video monitor. Honestly it would be fun to watch what the little one is/was doing in his crib during his baby years. I never bought one though.

LittleMamaB · July 2009

You do not need a video monitor. Hell, we don't even use a regular monitor.

LOL.

Honestly, I know it is annoying, but don't write it off simply because it's annoying. Their experience may help you down the road : )

shopgirl78 · July 2009

LittleMamaB:
You do not need a video monitor. Hell, we don't even use a regular monitor.
LOL.
Honestly, I know it is annoying, but don't write it off simply because it's annoying. Their experience may help you down the road : )

This all of it.

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