So..."Surprise" babies...

Re: So..."Surprise" babies...

• DiAnne82

  July 2009

  Yeah, I'd tell them. My DH was a suprise baby (he's 11 years younger than his closest sibling) and they told him (although he'd probably would have figured it anyway once he got older and thought about it.)

  Being What I Want To Be
  

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• runnergirl2008 member

  July 2009

  Eh, I was an accident but I knew my parents loved me so it doesn't really bother me. Each person is different I guess. I don't think I'd hide it though. All of that stuff has a way of coming out.?

  

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• vab1216

  July 2009

  I don't want her to know she was an "accident"...I was told I was planned but who knows. My brother knows he was an accident but I don't think he is too traumatized.. my dad still tells me that they haven't developed the pictures from when I was a baby because I was the third one so I was not exciting at all.. lol =(

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• TexasLadyBug

  July 2009

  I was a oops baby. My mom was 19 and not married. My grandparents, her parents ended up raising me. I never felt like I was a oops my family always told me how blessed they were to have me.

  

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• julia0402

  July 2009

  I don't think it's a big deal, but DH does, so we will have to get on the same page before we decide.

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• alissa445

  July 2009

  My parents tell me all the time I was an accident but it's kind of an on going joke. For instance, my mom had told my dad she was pregnant with me and he said it was just her nerves, so I ended up being one big nerve lol It's funny and I have never been scarred by it!

  I guess my point is, if little dude asks, I will answer him honestly.
  

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• marcandjen

  July 2009

  I think wording is everything.... I would strongly prefer "wonderful surprise" to "oops" or "accident."

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• Jules G member

  July 2009

  At some point in her life I will probably tell our LO that she was indeed a surprise, but I will never use the words mistake or accident.  I was a surprise to my parents too, but not an unwanted surprise & I don't feel scarred by knowing that. I read somewhere that something like 80% of pregnancies in America (don't quote me on the statistic, I just remember it was quite a large percentage) are surprises. 

  

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• JAWMIN member

  July 2009

  I guess it depends on how you say it. It shouldn't sound like "oops you ruined our life" but more like "you were the best oops".

  
  W (02/2009), N (08/2012), and C (04/2014)

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• babyjoy09

  July 2009

  i was a huge oops and its even a family joke lol but i always felt loved so it didn't bother one bit. i think if it's ever brought up i will let her know she is the best oops in my life.

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• PlannedChaos

  July 2009

  Surprise is how I've always referred to my oldest DD.  She knows she wasn't planned.  Maybe that's why I think DH is so weird when it comes to this.

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• jdavis0719

  July 2009

  Our LO was a surprise, but a planned surprise....meaning that we knew we wanted children just we werent actively trying, I was actually on the pill. But when we got the BFP we were extremely excited. So we wont mind telling her she came a little sooner than expected because now we are so happy and I think the timing ended up being just right

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• katiekate1974 member

  July 2009

  I was a surprise. I prefer the term "mistake" but my mom gets all worked up. LOL

  It never bothered me to know the circumstances of my conception. I think it's funny...you cannot keep me down! BAH!

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• mavilabride member

  July 2009

  She'll probably figure it out on her own considering we aren't married and when we do get married, she'll be in the wedding photos.  If she asks, i'll tell her the truth: never have a blue drink

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• Mrs_mam

  July 2009

  I don't think I'd tell my kids that. I'm not really into sharing my sex life, especially not with the kids.

  
  

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• kfuss4

  July 2009

  My LO's father most likely wont be around...so I think I might have to eventually explain the situation to her when she gets old enough. I certainly wouldnt make her seem like a "mistake" though, theres a difference in a mistake and an accident!

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• lp0418 member

  July 2009

  DD was not planned, and I don't think that she needs to know that. Although, if she asks something along those lines then I think I'm going to tell her that "I've always liked surprises, and she is the best one yet", and SO agrees with me on this. I was very much planned on my parents part,but he was a honeymoon baby and I think in the back on his mind he kind of believes he was never wanted.
  

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• JimsBride08

  July 2009

  DS will probably figure it out someday when he realizes he was born only 8 months after DH and I got married.  It's not something I will go on about though.  It's not like we didn't ever want kids and he's very loved so I hope he doesn't feel bad about it.

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• smellycat15 member

  July 2009

  When she figures out that she was born 9 months from our wedding, I'll explain. She wasn't necessarily an accident. We wanted kids but we actively trying to prevent them for now. She just came a few years early. I would say she was a late wedding present.
  

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• NY-allie

  July 2009

  DiAnne82:

  Yeah, I'd tell them. My DH was a suprise baby (he's 11 years younger than his closest sibling) and they told him (although he'd probably would have figured it anyway once he got older and thought about it.)

  We must be married to the same guy.  DH's parents had a little to much fun at a wedding, got a little drunk and 9 months later he was born.  
  

  
  
  Missed m/c 10/25/10 @ 11.5 weeks
  
  
  
  

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• MissesRootbeer member

  July 2009

  DH was an "accident" baby.  It doesn't seem to bother him.  His dad always reminds him he was more of a surprise than an accident.    I guess it depends on how you tell the story to the child.
  

  

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• jamie.renee

  July 2009

  Well I was very young when I had my first two and I was even on birth control with my second.  I will eventually talk to my girls about the whole situation when I am talking to them about having sex young.  I am already trying to think of the right words.  I want better for my kids but I don't want to tell them that in those words because I don't want them to think they made my life awful.  Even though I was young we have always taken care of our kids ourselves and have done a great job...IMO of course.
  

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• bnljane1988

  July 2009

  DH was an "oops" - as we refer to it.  He's 8 years younger than his next closest sibling.  Um, he made out in the deal....he's his dad's favorite child.  By then, his dad was retired and able to spend way more time with him than he did with his brothers and sister when they were growing up.  He'd definitely not scarred by it.

  I think if a child is loved and there is not negative conotation when referring to whether or not they were planned - it's not really a big deal.
  

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• disbride061103 member

  July 2009

  I was an oops baby.  I am proof that bf'ing in not a good form of birth control.  My sister is 11 months older than I am.  My mom only admitted once to me that I wasn't planned.  I never had any negative feelings about being "unplanned".  Oddly enough, lots of people think that DH was an oops baby.  His sister is 10 years older than he is.  His parents were still in college when they got married and had his sister.  Then 9 years later they decided that they wanted another baby. 

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