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High-Risk Pregnancy
Anyone have a family member get mad over how you BR?
I had my grandma come for the weekend to attend my shower today. And I've literally been yelled at 4 times for getting up to do something.
Let me just say that my OB was aware that I had my shower today, and ok'd me to go, just said to skip helpinig clean up or loadinig/unloading gifts into cars. She also ok's me to shower daily, fix my own meals, etc. So its not strict bedrest by any means. I can even drive myself places.
Grandma kept saying I was upsetting her when I got up to fix myself a plate of food at my shower. Dang it woman, I am not disabled or dying! It actually feels good to get up and stretch occassionally, it takes the pressure off my lower back. At one point she yelled at me in front of a ton of people to go sit down immediately and take care of my baby. As if I was being a bad mommy by getting up. It was super annoying and also a little embarrassing.
Fortunately grandma is returning to her home on Monday (8 hrs away) and will not be returning until after the baby is born. She asked to stay a week at our house to help out after he arrives, I'm thinking no...
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Re: Anyone have a family member get mad over how you BR?
How wonderful you got to attend your baby shower! My DH gets upset when I am walking around the house to get more water or whatnot. He wants me to tell him when I need EVERYTIHNG but I start to feel so bad about bothering him every hour that I sometimes will just get my own water or whatever when I get up to use the restroom.
Oh, absolutely. My mom pretty much chastised me throughout my shower (at 28w) and when I turned to my friends for support, they all had the same expression my mom did! I wasn't getting much sympathy.
I think it's just a nervous thing...my sister is also on BR (we're due on the same day) and I totally yell at her for doing too much. She then yells at me. (all good natured). I think it's just scary for people around us to think we might go into labor at any second.
I love that you and your sis are due the same day! Thats adorable.
My stepdad came yesterday and when DH suggested he and I go out to lunch and then I show him the rocker/glider I want, my stepdad nearly flipped out. He was not sure I should have been doing all that. I am allowed. I mean, I'm allowed some outings-- nothing on my own anymore. I can't lift anything, and I am much better about speaking up when I am tired or sore. He and I ate lunch uneventfully, but when LO kicked forcefully and I jumped, i thought that was going to be the end of it. I mean, I'm pregnant. I don't have a disease! And then I insisted we head to BRU briefly, so he could see the rocker/glider, as he said he'd get it for us and so far he thinks what we want is well, not what we want. We were gone from the house for a total of two hours. Which is almost exactly my limit.
SIL was also here this weekend. But all we had to do was explain what I was allowed to do and what my limits were, and we didn't get any weird looks or protestations. It was nice.
DH doesn't like me getting up too much at home to get food or take laundry to the washer. Especially when he perceives I'm tired or not feeling well. And when he allows me to accompany him to the store, his radar of how I feel is pretty finely tuned.
I think people who aren't around us much just don't know. DH is a lot better than other people.
My DH gets mad when I get up too much or when I am not laying on my left side. I get achy after too long on my left side so I am always flipping or standing up for short periods. But to be honest, my BP is significantly lower after being on my left side so he had a valid point.
My grandmother has a habit of yelling at me even when I wasn't on bedrest. She is very old school (she's 95) and is always afraid that I am way too active and will lose the baby. Especially when my DS is around she is afraid that he hangs on me too much. Her SIL lost three babies due to being kicked/hit in the stomach from older children (this was cerca 1930-40s) so that is where it stems from. I just take it all in stride because I know she just worries for me and the baby and is looking out for me. It can just get annoying at times.
I was on bedrest for 17 weeks and in the beginning it was modified so I could get up at times to stretch, make small meals, shower etc. In fact my OB encouraged me to do that and not just sit around all the time. My family did the exact same thing. It would drive me insane. No matter how many times I told them my OB was okay with it that would yell at me to sit down. Or I got the lovely "Are you supposed to be doing that?" question. One family member even told a neighbor that I wasn't listening to my doctor and that's why I was having so many problems with my pregnancy
I completely understand where you are coming from.
(and good luck! Bedrest is hard but SOOOO worth it in the end).