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Don't want to leave my house...

lax15bsulax15bsu member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

...except to go to work.  FI keeps wanting to do stuff after I get off work every day - go to my gramma's, or to his mom's, or to the mall, or to a friends house, something...  But I just won't leave the house.  He was okay with that the first few days of this week - but now I've not left my house except to go to work for a full week.  I keep telling him to go ahead and do stuff - I just want to stay home, go to bed, do the dishes, play with my kittens.

I know that's not healthy, but I just get a panicky feeling when I think about being around even family and friends.  Everyone knows what happened, and I just know they want to talk about it.  I don't want anyone to ask how I'm doing because I'd have to lie and say I'm fine to prevent more questions.

 I'm crazy, I know it's crazy to not want to leave the house.  I'm perfectly fine and able to get up and go to work every day (thankfully I work with guys, and they're too uncomfortable to ask questions), so why can't I just go anywhere else?

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Re: Don't want to leave my house...

  • someflower6someflower6 member

    well, IMO, you just had the loss a week ago... it makes sense that you don't feel like being around people right now. you're still healing, emotionally and physically. and your hormones are still all sorts of out of kilter. to go to work and do a job is focused. but to just "go out"... i can understand why that would be overwhelming right now. i could understand why you want to lay low. yes, sometimes it's good to go out and get your mind off things-- but when you feel up to it. there's no need to rush anything, and this does not mean you're crazy. it means that you just need some time to yourself.

    if it continues, and you really start shutting yourself off from people, especially if you're getting more and more depressed, then perhaps you should consider talking to your dr or getting some grief counseling. but that's a judgement call. you need to do what's best for you.

    i hope you feel better soon.

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  • lax15bsulax15bsu member
    Thank you... I think I just needed someone else to tell me it's okay, it's only been a week. 
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  • superlupersuperluper

    I totally agree with the above. Give yourself some time, but if it keeps going on and progresses further then it might get to the point where talking with someone could be helpful. I had to talk with someone and it helped me out quite a bit but after a week, I'm impressed that you're going to work! 

    **hugs!** 

    oh please. not KU. effed up.
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  • someflower6someflower6 member
    imagesuperluper:

    I totally agree with the above. Give yourself some time, but if it keeps going on and progresses further then it might get to the point where talking with someone could be helpful. I had to talk with someone and it helped me out quite a bit but after a week, I'm impressed that you're going to work! 

    **hugs!** 

    i agree... i tried to come back to work within a few days of the D&C and i was a fricking hot mess. eventually, i wound up taking about 2 weeks off. and as far as "going out"... i think i went out once, alone, to the grocery store and then i ran back home to my couch and stayed there for a good 48 hours. i had to REALLY grieve and heal, and then finally when i went back to work, i could also go out a little more with friends. but like i said, it took time to get there.

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  • Kel&JayKel&Jay

    I agree with the PPs.  It just been about the last week or so where I felt comfortable leaving the house for something other than work. 

    Give it a couple weeks and see how you feel then.  If it's not any better you may want to consider talking to someone.

    Good luck!  I hope you feel better soon!

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  • footsiefootsie
    I am sorry for your loss.  It's been more than three weeks for me and some days I still don't want to leave the house or see anyone.  You probably know what's best for you right now so don't worry. 
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  • vkbaby09vkbaby09
    I totally understand where you're at right now and think it's a totally normal reaction to a traumatic event.  You're grieving and that takes a whole lot out of you.  The first time seeing almost all my friends and family after my loss I practically had a panic attack, but I felt so much better after I talked to them.  I still find it hard, but it gets easier. 
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  • KAG30KAG30
    You are not crazy at all it hasn't even been a week since your loss, I didn't leave the house for over a week because I wasn't ready to face people.  I am impressed that you are going to work, it took me a couple weeks and I had to work from home for a while.   
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