Doctor gives my mom one month to live...

corinnesmom · July 2009

I am so sorry to hear this. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 (borderline 4 because of how close it was to her liver) ovarian cancer when I was about 3 months along with my first baby. MIL was also having treatment for stage 4 breast cancer. Luckily, the chemo worked for my mom and her type of cancer is slow growing, so she is still with us and is in remission. Unfortunately we lost my MIL when I was about 12 weeks along with this baby and dd was a little over a year old. As for the effect on the baby, I carried till 40 weeks and was induced and had no problems that stress would have been a factor in. My mom and MIL couldn't visit at the hospital because they were in chemo at the time. This time I am up to 37.5 weeks and am carrying a healthy baby. I was so worried that I would miscarry when we lost MIL because it was such a hard time for us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I pray that your mom does not suffer in her final months.

emmyloustu · July 2009

I am so very sorry. many thoughts and prayers for your entire family...

Nikibug · July 2009

I am so sorry and my heart just breaks for you. We are in a similar situation with my DHs mom. She is currently in the hospital after suffering a horrible infection after they removed brain cancer from her for the 5th time since 1992. After all these times of survival the infection may kill her before the cancer. Though it is not my mom, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. This is our first child too and we also worry she will not live to see him/her. Prayers to you during this difficult time.

star678 · July 2009

I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry you are going through this. Doctors are often mistaken, so I pray that will be the case for your mom.

cleigh11 · July 2009

There are no words that can mend the situation that you are going through right now, but I am so sorry that you are...About 2 years ago (I wasn't pregnant, but my sister was,) my mom was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. It was a devastating blow because they found out at her 1st colonoscopy. She is the foundation of our family and my 3 sisters and I are very close to her. I cried whenever I wasn't around her and put on my mask when I was around her. We all wanted to be strong for her. After months of chemo and radiation, she went into remission. It was (and still is) so amazing to us. Granted, the doctor didn't put a timeline on it, but when your mom gets diagnosed with any cancer at any stage, your world collapses a little.

My Step-Grandfather was also diagnosed with Bone Cancer this past year and he was given a time frame to live, which he has surpassed. He even made it up north for my cousin's high school graduation.

My advice to you would be to be with her as much as you can. Include her as much as you can. Be as strong as you can around her and just have hope. May she have the fight in her to beat this and be there for your LO's birth and years thereafter.

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family...

PenelopePond · July 2009

I can't relate, but I'm hoping for a miracle for you and your family.

Maybe you could get a 3D/4D ultrasound and have your mom come with. The place that does it by me can tape you watching the ultrasound. That might be kind of nice.

Kcupcake · July 2009

I am so sorry. ?My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Sizzline · July 2009

I am so sorry to hear about your situation! You and your family will be in my prayers.

june909 · July 2009

I am truly sorry to hear that, you and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts. Try and stay strong.

aniago · July 2009

I am so sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you. Often people live longer than doctors expect. I pray that God gives your mom a little more time on earth so that she can meet your little one.

mckrog · July 2009

I am so sorry you are going through this! I have been spending most of my time in the ICU with my husband's brother. He went in on on May 25 and is still there. He is in critical condition with some brain damage. We don't know what is going to happen. I did ask my Dr about the affect on my LO and she assured me that the baby is tough in there and can handle a lot.

BUT reminded me that stress can affect my sleep, eating, and daily habits and those are the things that can affect the baby. So make sure you are getting sleep and eating right, AND accept help when ever you can. For example, one of our friends offered to mow our lawn which seemed so easy but it is one thing we don't have to worry about getting done.

Best wishes for you, your LO and your mom!

Indysgirl · July 2009

I am so so so very sorry to hear this. I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was 2 months pregnant. (In May). We were told when she was diagnosed in February that she could live a long life with treatment. Unfortunately it spread faster than they ever expected and she was taken from us a few short months later. I'm not going to lie. It was (and still is) terrible. I cry a lot and miss her every minute of every day. It hasn't really gotten any easier and I think about the things that I want to be doing with her constantly and the things she will not be there to witness. This was her first grandbaby and she was so excited. I get so mad that she isn't hear to meet it.

However, regarding your baby-you let your body and emotions do what they need to do. My MIL is an L&D nurse and she told me when I was going through this that of course it is good to have a stress free pregnancy but babies are resilient. And that you need to take care of your self emotionally-that means letting yourself go through the emotions and grief as it comes. Lean on the people around you. I got through this because of my DH who held me up when I didn't think I could make it anymore. Try to eat when you can and get rest. Take help when it is offered. And remember that your LO will be the next link in your mom's legacy.

If you ever need to talk feel free to page me-i'd be happy to give you my email address.

And last-don't give up! She is still here---she still has a chance to fight. People beat the odds all the time. My mom was given a week when she was put in the hospital and we were told she wouldn't wake up. Not only did she wake up which gave me an opportunity to have some wonderful conversations with her, but she made it to her next chemo treatment.

I will pray for you, your mom and your family.

j37o · July 2009

Thank you all so much for your kind and helpful words.

I thought the suggestions of a 3D u/s were a great idea, and I'm currently looking for a location that does that in my area. I also booked a flight home to visit my mom (I live about 1,000 miles away), so it will be good to see her and bring her that 3D pic. I just hope it's not the last time I see her.

Again, thank you all so much. Reading your responses really warmed my heart.

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