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2nd Trimester
OMG!!!! SO PISSED....need your opinions!!!
Long story short......I recently caught my husband talking to some random girl on Yahoo IM. When I hit him up about it he got kinda defensive and said I was being "Stupid". So he deleted her and all. Well I dunno, I checked his Myspace inbox today and found a trailed convo between him and htis other chick. He's barely ever talked about her.....says she's the ex-wife of a good friend of his from back in the day. He brought her up out of NO WHERE the other day which seemed a little odd. Anyhow.....pay close attention towards the end of the convo. WWYD and what do you think?!!!!! 
HIM: thanks for the comment hows life
HER: Doing good just waiting on my baby it due sep 9th,its a girl.
HIM: ya i seen u gonna wind up with like 15 kids if u dont stop it haha
HER: No way!I am getting my tubes tied.So hows married life?
HIM: its maried life you know how it goes and you
HER: well we have been together for 9 yrs and still not married,but its all the same,I heard u were having a baby too?
HIM: oh ya shes 14 weeks
HER: what do u want,boy or girl?
HIM: do you have yahoo im my e mail is ******@****.com we can talk easier
HER: I tried to e-mail u it wont let me. Are u going to find out what it is,what does she want?
HIM: she wants a girl of course and ya were going to find out. check your e mail i sent you an invite to yahoo im
HER: all ready have a yahoo account but cant rember the password my honey knows thats the only one he uses Ill ask him later. So you talk to your exwife at all?
HIM: i been in CA for 5 years now and dont have much to do with that side of the world
HER: ya know u really should take her to court u would win
HIM: i know iwould and should but why you say so
HER: cause she is one of the biggest drug heads in ******
HIM:
ya she went off the deep end i dont do nuthing any more obviously some detains would be nice and i am taking her to court for a few reasons and think she was running around acting like that while i was in iraq
HER: well I have known her for about 14 yrs, dame I am getting old, we are getting old.and she has all ways been that way,and yes the reason I know it is because I was right there with her but its time to grow up way past time for her.
HIM: well im glad you admit it but when was this and she doesnt need to grow up she just needs to go away i wasted 10 years of my life on her ass
HER: well I guess from 97-and she came to **** funeral 05 f*cked up,to *****s b-day party f*ked up, yall were together u were in iraq.
HIM: why is it you appear off line on my space thats weird
HER: I got it like that ,u can fix it so its like that.then u wont get messaged all the time from a but load of peeps.
HIM: guess that works
HER: lol...u know u havent changed,I was looking at ur pics..u lucky dog.guess you got it like that uh..lol
HIM: i got it ok and i know what pics you were looking at me all shirtless huh?
HER: no, the ones where ur in a cow boy hat.
HIM: haha you liked it any way and you can look if you want haaa but dont touch i do miss talkin sh*t with you
HER: ya we had alot of fun back in the day!
HIM: i know i was so sad when you left i miss being a horny kid well im still horny just not a kid anymore
HER: I left in 95 cause I had a baby,but I was still around.
HIM: well u werent to easy to find i was looking
HER: really!! I must have sucked u good that day uh.
HIM: just never could get enough of ya
HER: thats cause u never got it,by the way it would have been good!!!!lol
HIM: better than you could have ever imagined lmao.
HER: REALLY? too bad we will never know.
HIM: ya realy and it is to bad but at least were still friends and a little friendly flirting is always fun and gets the blood pumping
HER: sooo true!!! still it would be tempting
HIM: ya a bottle of tequila and i dont think i could stop my self just cuz of the curiosity
HER: sad but true here to good thing I only go to ***** once a month.
HIM: well what makes it worse is im still in california im still in the military hun
HER: dam thats cool.
HIM: ya oh how things change coulda been u
And she didn't write him back yet................... IS THIS APPROPRIATE FOR THEM TO BE CONVERSATING LIKE THIS?? I feel so bummed!!!!!!! I want to forward the message to her man!!!!!!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: OMG!!!! SO PISSED....need your opinions!!!
Umm, no. It's not ok.
We're already in counseling. Holy shiet I'm so pissed right now. HE's sitting there on his laptop. I want to IM him the conversation and see his reaction, then again I want to send it to that other chick's man.
Yes, you definitely have some communicating to do. I think you first need to focus on your own relationship. He was being 100 percent inappropriate. He insinuated that they could still flirt to "get the blood pumping." Sorry, but that's emotional infidelity. I'm sorry you had to read that, but you need to talk to him and tell him how wrong he was -- and perhaps go to a little bit of counseling. I don't know about you, but I'd have major trust issues if I found something like that.
ETA: If you're in counseling, bring it up in one of your sessions. It would be a good neutral ground.
I need to handle this carefully and I don't know hwat's the easiest way
Personally, I think you need to talk to your husband about it first. Although it may make you feel better, sending it to the chick's husband isn't going to solve you and your husbands problems.
First of all, let's address another issue: why were you going through his emails? That seems completely out of line, obviously there are major trust issues already. I would be SO pissed if my husband started going through my emails. Even though I have nothing to hide, that's my own private space.
Yes, he is being really inappropriate, but it sounds like you guys are already in counseling for something. Good luck to you both.
Leave the other girl out of it. Your DH is the one you need to worry about.
I would just be up front. Confront him, tell him you found this and you are not happy. Talk about it.
I would also bring it up in counseling.
Sounds like they've known each other a long time and they're flirting. From major distance apart. She's prego with kids and he has you, his LOVING wife who is prego too.
You shouldn't be looking through private stuff... you almost always end up finding things you weren't meant to see.
I bet you are so mad. I would be mad too. I don't know how what you should do because I'm not in your marriage, but I hope you figure it out.
I'm sending you hugs.
Totally inappropriate. I lived through an online emotional affair of my husbands and this just smacks of the beginings of one. Research emotional affair and you will see what I mean.
This conversation is way more than flirting. There's a huge difference between flirting and referencing to past sexual encounters. I would be livid if I found out my DH was talking to someone else this way.
This.
Honestly, I'd want a divorce simply because he types like a 15 year old on myspace.
That conversation got wildly inappropriate toward the end and I would confront him if I were you.
Isn't that why we always look? To find things we're not supposed to?
No, not appropriate AT ALL. I'm sorry. (HUGS)
I agree with this completely!
Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
Claire Zoe, 10.26.10
Not appropriate or acceptable imo. It's one step away from "When and where should we meet up?"
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!
completely inappropriate!
You need to have a serious conversation with him. NOW.
THIS! His inbox being private or not THIS WAS NOT APPROPRIATE messaging between a married man and a pregnant women who is NOT his wife!
Print it out and bring it to your next appointment. This is not appropriate conversation for someone to have if he's married.