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Maybe I've drunk too much of the Kool Aid

Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
in Adoption

...but I get a little annoyed every time I see someone talk about the 16&Pregnant show and say they "gave up" the baby.

Must.learn.to.relax.

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Re: Maybe I've drunk too much of the Kool Aid

  • -Stephanie--Stephanie-
    I've thought the same thing several times today.
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  • jewele803jewele803
    Agreed!!
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  • julandjojulandjo member
    Between "give it up" and "give it away", I want to scream!
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  • lisanjaylisanjay
    This used to bother me too. Sometimes it still does, esp if the person saying it is "older" and it seems like they don't really know what they are talking about. But the young girl in the MTV show last night repeatedly said "give up" or "gave away" so sometimes I think we have to cut them some slack.
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  • RJMbimRJMbim
    Everybody do it with me WOOOSAHHHH its getting to me too.
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    imagelisanjay:
    This used to bother me too. Sometimes it still does, esp if the person saying it is "older" and it seems like they don't really know what they are talking about. But the young girl in the MTV show last night repeatedly said "give up" or "gave away" so sometimes I think we have to cut them some slack.

    Ah, I see. I haven't seen the episode yet. Now I can see where they picked it up. Plus it seems to be the way people talk about it anyway.

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  • lisanjaylisanjay

    I think that us that want to adopt do some much studying , researching etc. We learn the appropriate language to use.We think about the birth mom/dad's feelings.  And then it's hard to remember the general public just sees one side of adoption, and it is usually the antiquated side or the side that the media decides to portray.

    I know I get tired of friends or family or someone in general saying that they could never do that, place their baby for adoption. I just want to say that they don't know what they would do if they have never found themselves in that situation. It bothers me when they say how selfish the girl/woman is to place their baby for adoption. Hello, it is the most selfless, loving act one can do. And it is the HARDEST decision that one will ever make and live with for the rest of their lives. Watching S place Shelby in my arms will be engraved in my memory for the rest of my life. I still tear up thinking about it.

     

     

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  • meghans30meghans30 member
    imagefredalina:

    Honestly the word "give" doesn't really bother me.  They are, in essence, "giving" the child to another couple to raise.  And that's a beautiful and wonderful gift.

    i don't like the tone of voice or the other connotations that go with "give it away".  It's not the "give" that bothers me, it's the other stuff that goes with it.

    What i really can't stand is words like "your own child" (i.e. "Did you adopt because you can't have your own child?) and "real mom" and things like that.  But in general, all of the antiquated language has got to GO!

    This is how I see it. May I ask what wording you like better? I'm learning so much.

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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    imagemeghans30:

    This is how I see it. May I ask what wording you like better? I'm learning so much.

    I don't have a problem with "give", I have a problem with "give up", like they just give their kid away and walk away from it. When it's so not like that in most cases.

    Meghan, positive adoption language is usually "place for adoption" or "make an adoption plan".

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  • meghans30meghans30 member
    imageDr.Loretta:
    imagemeghans30:

    This is how I see it. May I ask what wording you like better? I'm learning so much.

    I don't have a problem with "give", I have a problem with "give up", like they just give their kid away and walk away from it. When it's so not like that in most cases.

    Meghan, positive adoption language is usually "place for adoption" or "make an adoption plan".

    I'll keep that in mind.

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  • foundmylazybumfoundmylazybum

    I just wanted to point out how very far we've come. The original language was. "We put him in a reed basket and floated him down river."?

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