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2nd Trimester
I want to hit him!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I want to hit him!
Ethan Michael - 12/21/09
Norah Jewel - 2/26/14
DH won't let me write him, because a) it would be really hormonal and bitchy in return (like I care at this point), and b) because its his dad, and he wants to call him later and tell him that he's very limited in our lives right now, and that he's going to be on a need to know basis.
My personal opinion is that he needs to back the hell off, and let us make our own decisions! Not everyone when they have babies is "economically ready" for them! In fact, I'm sure NO ONE IS! Well, except him!
I know he's stated his opinions before, and I'm sure he meant well, but the way he comes out saying stuff is ludicrous! I'm sorry he doesn't think we're ready for a child, but NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO WAIT TILL THEY'RE 45 to start having children!!!
I honestly think DH's dad has gone too far with his opinions. And I'm done dealing with him, unless he decides to keep his mouth shut on future occasions!
What a jerk. This would give me a reason to cut him out! If you do not live with him, it is none of his business. And, you are in no way obligated to tell him any earlier than you did.
What does your dh say? This man sounds like he will be a problem.
He is a problem...and its getting worse. DH has no problems cutting him out right now, seeing as how I called him, and the fact that he suggested that we move in with DH's mom and step-dad!
wow crazy lol..
when i was pregnant with DS my FIL told me since I was giving DS my (then) FI's last name and not mine that i wouldn't have any parental rights, since our last names wouldnt match..
I WAS LIVID! So when we got married (2 1/2 weeks ago) and this was a planned pregancy and i made a point to let him know how excited i was that with this baby i will have my parental rights at birth instead of 2 1/2 years!
yea, you should've seen his face lol
Thank you for making me feel like my in-laws are not so bad.
That said, I feel terrible for you. What a jerk!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was he smoking something while writing this? what is wrong with him!?
what did your hubby say? i mean, since it's his father...
wow wow wow.. i feel for you and will never complain about my inlaws again.
to be honest if this is the reaction my somewhat, spiteful side would say. If this is how you look at your future grandchild, "an expense, something you warned us about therefore having no obiligation to help with" forget ever even seeing the child.
If you have this much opinion and wanna be honest, here's what happens I honestly don't think your apart of the kids life.
I'm very cut my nose off to spite my face tho.
What. A. Douchnozzle.
For reals. I am so sorry that he's your FIL. And I thought that MY FIL was a jerkwad for giving out "advice." At least he never said all THAT.
This was my gut reaction to reading your FIL's email. Also, BLOCK HIM so you don't get anymore of his emails...you don't need to be upset or stressed by his unwanted (and idiot) "advice"! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this!!!! I'm glad your DH is supportive of you and will stand up to his dad! GL!
I sooo feel for you! I am going through a very similiar situation (though they are not quite as blunt), with my Aunt and Uncle. FI and I are still in college, and only half way done, and they feel that we have horrible planning.
Granted they are sort of right, except for this baby wasn't planned, but IS AND WILL BE LOVED by everyone in the family. They were helping me out financially while in school, and have stopped that with the hopes that it will scare me into giving the baby up for adoption. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
I wish you the best of luck, and know that everything will be okay, no matter what. Times may get hard, but the will pass.
Holy sh!t!!!!!! Ok, this is what I would do, I don't know your situation and family dynamics but this is what I would do if I were you. Do not reply. Tell your husband not to reply. Cease all contact with him. If he calls, keep your conversations short and sweet. If he brings up the baby I would tell him you prefer not to discuss personal matters with him. Soon he will understand that he completely overstepped his boundaries and if he wants any contact with his son and future grandchild he will need to keep his opinions to himself.
Good luck with that. I would be fuming!
If you don't cut him out of your child's life, you're a much better person than me.
Agreed. And I thought my IL's were bad. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. Make sure to listen in when your DH rakes him over the coals. At least then you might feel a little better.
oh my... Well, I am going to say thank you. You guys definitely did the right thing. You already knew what you were going to get married, so the choice on moving the wedding up was excellent! THANK YOU, for not staying single for the sole purpose of making the government, aka TAX PAYERS cover the cost of your delivery.
I wouldn't listen to a Darn thing that man said, because this is YOUR family and no one should have a say in it. NO ONE! I hate it when parents think that even though their children are grown up and making their own decisions that they can somehow make them feel bad about a great decision like STARTING A FAMILY! no one is EVER going to be financially ready to start a family... no one... I would blow it off and try to make the best of your time before you have LO because he did make one valid point... "Congratulations on your pregnancy. Having a baby and starting a family
is truly a marvelous event and exciting time. You will enjoy these
times of anticipation. You will enjoy the times of delivery and
bringing home a baby. When delivered, you will live on little sleep and
point to each other for someone to take up the slack - an exciting, but
stressful time"
WOW! That's gotta be one of the rudest things I've ever read! I can't believe he thinks it's ok to email that to you! Sounds to me like he's obsessed with money since he completely focused on that throughout his email. That's really sad. If we all waited until we were financially prepared for a child, the population would die out! Seriously, if you wait for the perfect time to have a child it may be too late or never have an opportunity at all.
I agree with some of the pp that you need to let him know this was uncalled for and limit your activity in his life.