Boyfriends Mother

NC_Momma · July 2009

So I received an email today from her saying, I have only told my sister in law we are going to be grandparents. I can't bring myself to tell my friends and other family members because you and my son are not married!

Mind you this woman is in her mid 60's...her kids are 39, 35, 31 and she has NO grandchildren! Wouldn't ya think maybe she could be a little excited.

Now I am crying...UGH Hormones...

skylined21 · July 2009

that really svcks a lot ... but you could always say "thank you now i have the honor of telling them all MY BIG NEWS!"

AmandaAllison · July 2009

I'm sorry you are crying. It's tough. Maybe she'll get more excited later? My ILs would've reacted the same way if I had been pregnant before DH and I got married. And I really don't understand why. Be excited for the baby because that's an exciting thing!

MrsV2005 · July 2009

I'm sorry she's acting like this. I'm curious, what are the statistics on how many children are born to unwed mothers each year? My guess it's 40% or higher. She might need a reminder of just how many people have babies and aren't married these days. We're not in 1950 anymore!

auddy_0113 · July 2009

Wow that is a bit B-ish. Sorry to hear that. I'd just chalk it up and ignore it.

MixiePixie · July 2009

It sucks that she hurt your feelings, but she has her own set of values. Eventually she may come around.

My BIL got a girl pregnant in the fall (in fact this baby is due two weeks from today). They had only known each other for about a month at the time. At first my ILs were a little weirded out, because the parents barely know each other, and getting to know someone during as stressful a time as pregnancy isn't really ideal. But by March they had moved past that, and my MIL could not wait to go to the appt to find out the gender, and they threw her a shower in addition to the one her friends threw her.

so while it is hurtful to hear something like that, don't take it personally. you don't know what her own issues are.

NELCORP · July 2009

I'm sorry you're crying. She's being very ugly but some people are very conservative and worry about what others might say or think. She probably has an image she wants to uphold with her family and friends. Hopefully soon she will come around and begin to be more excited about the baby.

But I can relate b/c my FI and I are getting married in Oct. but I'm sure my parents are going to wish the baby had been concieved after the wedding and not during the planning of our wedding. But a baby is a blessing no matter when s/he comes.

katydid2007 · July 2009

It's generational. If she's a nice and decent person, she'll get over it. If she's not, start distancing yourself from her now. The last thing a new mother needs is a nasty grandparent dropping comments like that all the time.

AmieVan · July 2009

I'm sorry she hurt your feelings and you're crying! She'll get over it and come around. Try not to let her hurtful comments bother you too much! GL

NC_Momma · July 2009

I keep hoping it will get better, but she has been this since I have met her. My BF and i have been together a year and a half. Instead of buying diamonds and getting married, we bought a very nice house together...When she met me, she called him right up and told him that he and i come from 2 different worlds...that it would NEVER last! UGH

She is just a very mean lady.

NELCORP · July 2009

She sounds very rude. This is your's and BF baby. If she does not want to be a part of this beautiful life then she needs to distance herself or you from her. Talk about it with your man and come up with a solution. You don't need the stress her comments to you may cause.

rebecca_cross · July 2009

I am sorry that you have such a mean spirited woman in your life! My boyfriend's mom is luckily no longer in the picture. (The first time I met her I had just woken up from a nap and she told me I looked like a whore waiting to screw her son). She effectively took herself out of the picture so I don't have to deal with her.

Even so, I know if must be hard to hear something like that when you are so excited for your little one. Just try to concentrate on the fact that now you get to see or hear everyone's first thoughts and congrats first hand instead of having her tell them, and then tell you.

Try to keep smiling, and good luck!

BabySnyder · July 2009

I agree. You're immediate family is your BF, not her. You two can still be a family without her being any part of the picture. Congrats on being able to buy a home ... a major part of a couple's life together. What are our priorities are not always our parents priorities. My MIL is Catholic and she definitely has some strong opinions on certain things. Luckily she voices them and then will let them go unless you bring it up again. My husband and I got pregnant in Dec before we got married. We kept that secret and had not planned on telling anyone until we couldn't kide it anymore. Unfortunately, I lost the pregnancy and b/c she's a nurse, we talked to her about it. She was okay about it.

If you do this kind of thing, pray for her. Pray that she can see the good parts of this situation. She'll either come around or not. But don't let it be your problem. It's her problem. GL!

MrsHK · July 2009

skylined21:
that really svcks a lot ... but you could always say "thank you now i have the honor of telling them all MY BIG NEWS!"

I would go this route. I love getting my digs in by playing the naive optimist.

Kiki-licioius · July 2009

NC_Momma:

I keep hoping it will get better, but she has been this since I have met her. My BF and i have been together a year and a half. Instead of buying diamonds and getting married, we bought a very nice house together...When she met me, she called him right up and told him that he and i come from 2 different worlds...that it would NEVER last! UGH

She is just a very mean lady.

Since this is the case ignore everything she has to say.

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