Would you feel the same way?

LMBESQ · July 2009

If your DH was abused as a child, and your MIL did nothing to stop the abuse from happening (abuse was by FIL), would you feel uncomfortable leaving your LO with your MIL and/or FIL? FIL would only see your child when MIL does.

jamie4duke · July 2009

I would not leave my child with FIL without me being around. Not even if MIL was there.

noimnotmarried · July 2009

Allowing abuse to occur is neglectful supervision = against the law and, imo, just as bad as actually abusing a child. I wouldn't leave my child with them and honestly? I would consider not having them in mine or my child's life.

CeltiCutie · July 2009

umm hell yes i'd be uncomfortable!! i'd never leave my child unsupervised in that house.

wanticecream · July 2009

jamie4duke:
I would not leave my child with FIL without me being around. Not even if MIL was there.

this. exactly.

Marie R · July 2009

I would not leave DD unsupervised with FIL - even if MIL was around.

Mrs.C042807 · July 2009

My child wouldn't be leaving my sight.

marcandjen · July 2009

Ummmm.... I guess it would depend. What kind of abuse are we talking? Sexual? No way are either of them coming near my child. But if it was spanking and it was made explicitly clear to them up front that we are a non-spanking family, then I might feel a little more comfortable, but still uneasy. If it was more serious physical abuse, especially if fueled by drinking or drugs, then no way.

The recent Kate Gosselin thing has sparked lots of conversation about defining 'abuse.' If you are talking about your own DH and not hypothetically, I just want to make sure you know I'm not trying to downplay any abuse he may have experienced as a child.

LMBESQ · July 2009

I would never leave dd at their house. She'll probably never visit there. I'm not comfortable leaving dd alone with just MIL at our own home. I just can't imagine allowing abuse to happen and doing nothing to protect your child. It just breaks my heart. DH has moved on and has gotten over it, but it's still something that makes me want to strangle both my MIL and FIL.

LMBESQ · July 2009

marcandjen:

Ummmm.... I guess it would depend. What kind of abuse are we talking? Sexual? No way are either of them coming near my child. But if it was spanking and it was made explicitly clear to them up front that we are a non-spanking family, then I might feel a little more comfortable, but still uneasy. If it was more serious physical abuse, especially if fueled by drinking or drugs, then no way.

The recent Kate Gosselin thing has sparked lots of conversation about defining 'abuse.' If you are talking about your own DH and not hypothetically, I just want to make sure you know I'm not trying to downplay any abuse he may have experienced as a child.

This is in reference to my DH's childhood. The abuse was physical, and far beyond a spanking. No drinking or drugs. His mom never attempted to leave, get help, etc.

NY-allie · July 2009

I would not leave DS there without my supervision.

marcandjen · July 2009

First of all- that is terrible that your DH had to go through that. It's good to know that he's dealt with it.

How does your DH feel about it? Has he ever addressed this with either of his parents?

LMBESQ · July 2009

marcandjen:

First of all- that is terrible that your DH had to go through that. It's good to know that he's dealt with it.

How does your DH feel about it? Has he ever addressed this with either of his parents?

Thankfully, my DH feels the same way I do in terms of leaving dd with them. And no, in the 7 years I have been with DH, it has never come up (which seems insane to me). I think the only way it will be addressed is if MIL continues to ask why she can't babysit, etc. She is constantly harassing us to visit/babysit, and I am so tempted to just tell her why it is that we're uncomfortable. I just know it will open a massive can of worms.

Now that I'm a parent and know that my number 1 goal is to protect my child, I just can't wrap my mind around it.

megpyes · July 2009

I would abolutely NOT leave LO with them.... not even with MIL alone since she doesn't have very good judgement.

marcandjen · July 2009

That is tough but eventually you're going to have to tell her why she can't babysit, no? It's good that you're on the same page w/DH, but it's going to be hard to keep that under wraps for your LO's entire childhood.

?

It's exhausting to try to make sense of it, because it's senseless.?

courtneyaok · July 2009

noimnotmarried:
Allowing abuse to occur is neglectful supervision = against the law and, imo, just as bad as actually abusing a child. I wouldn't leave my child with them.

Ditto this.

kellielee08 · July 2009

I wouldn't leave my child with them

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