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Babies on the Brain
californiastars
member
I am so pissed and fed up (long)
californiastars
member
We have been TTC for 19 months. I have been on Clomid for 3 cycles along with Metformin.
With that being said, I actually ovulated this cycle. I believe it was yesterday due to the cd, OPKs, and CM. I would know from temp but i overslept and screwed up my temp.
So when I got the positive OPK I told DH so he would know the plan. Last night after getting off of my 12 hour shift from hell, cooking dinner, ect...I was exhausted but new that it was the right time to have sex. DH had a friend over, but i asked him if he was going to still come to bed with me.
I tried to stay awake. I went to bed at midnight after being up for 20 hours and passed out. Of course not before sending DH a text letting him know how pissed I am (I didn't want to call him out when our friend was over but I wanted him to know how pissed I am) So this morning this is our dialog:
H: Your pissed at me
Me: yep
H: I came to bed but you were already asleep
Me: I stayed up until midnight. I was awake at 0400 yesterday, worked, and came home. I tried to stay awake, I really did, but I was exhausted.
Then I got pissed again and got up. I am just so frustrated and fed up with it all. Why should I keep taking meds, temping, and getting poked and proded if he isn't even going to put in the effort to have sex with me?
I think I am just done. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother. I know I would be a great mother and I want a child like you wouldn't believe, but as much as it hurts me to say this, maybe it is Gods way of saying I shouldn't be a mother.
Now that I sit here crying, I just want a drink (and it is only 0913).
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Re: I am so pissed and fed up (long)
I think we ( with IF) go though those stages!
Good luck hun
(((HUGS)))
I can't even imagine how pissed I would be, but don't give up. ?It's stressful and exhausting for everyone, DHs included. ?
As for it being a sign from God, I don't believe in signs like that. ?Please don't read it as such, because it's probably making you feel worse.
I can only imagine how frustrating that must be, and I think you're totally justified in being very angry. You're putting yourself through a lot to do this and it his part seems so very small. I wish I could offer sage words of advice, but I don't have a whole lot for you. I'd say that he needs to hear exactly how it made you feel, needs to be reminded what you've put your body through to try to make this happen.
As far as deciding you shouldn't be a mother, sweetie, there are lots of ways to be a mother. If this route doesn't work for you, there are other options. I hope you make it through this crap of a day and feel better soon.
Thats a pretty douchetastic thing to say to someone dealing with IF.
this is all I can offer.
My BFP Chart