MoMs with babies in NICU (past or present)

The-Anti-Bride · June 2009

I'm only on day 2 of not being in the hospital with them (we came home on Sunday, but spent the majority of the day with them there). I cannot say a bad thing about their nurses and the care they're receiving. They're progressing much better than we anticipated. Every day they reach a new milestone...

How long were your babies in NICU? How did you "survive" the time apart? Any recommendations for ways to make the time till they come home go faster, or ways to better bond over the approximate 3 hours we spend there each day?

TripMomma · June 2009

The triplets were in the NICU for 26, 33 and 35 days. Really is nothing you can do to make the time go faster. We did a lot of Kangaroo care for bonding it was so great!

Good luck, hope they are home soon!

ccctwins · July 2009

I haven't announced it yet, but we had our babies last Wednesday. We went home on Sunday, and have been visiting the NICU twice each day. We actually just got home from visiting right now.

I have been doing Kangaroo Care during our evening visits, have given them baths, gavages, one bottle, rock, singing. We time our visits to coordinate with the every 3 hour feeding schedule so that the babies will be awake or in the middle of an activity while we are visiting.

When away from them, I have been so busy trying to catch up on sleep, pumping, recover from C-section, getting the nursery ready, and reading the first year-type books. It has been really hard, but is soothing to me that the babies are doing relatively well. I find myself crying at the strangest times. I cannot believe they will be one week old tomorrow! Let me know how you are doing.

na24 · July 2009

Our girls were in the NICU for 11 days. ?It was really difficult having them there, emotionally, but we just got through it. ?We took advantage of all the skin-to-skin/breastfeeding time we were allowed by the doctors and were up there three times a day to do that. ?(We weren't allowed to do that for back-to-back feedings because it would tire them out too much, so we had to go and come back, and go and come back, etc.) ?It was good to set up a regular schedule and then have time to come home and pump, nap, etc. to keep us sort of sane. ?

It's great that you're so happy with the care they're getting. ?Be sure to stay in good communication with the doctors and nurses. ??

pea-kay · July 2009

my boys were in for 11 and 13 days (they were feeders and growers) and i used the time away from them to recover, get the house ready, and just spend time with them. kangarooing is great, and doing as much of their care as you can while you're there is also good for you and them.

but, i didn't feel like they were "mine" until i brought them home. i felt like they belonged to the nurses. so that's normal if you feel that way too.

rach*champp*3-1 · July 2009

It's hard, really, really hard leaving your babies behind and coming home without them. Everyone kept telling me "it's ok b/c you can get your rest and recover and they are where they need to be getting taken care of." yes, I knew that but it still didn't make me feel any better. I had 2 other kids at home too so I felt like I was splitting my time up between the 4. I would get to the nicu as often as I could and try to get there when it was their feeding time. We would call the nurses to check in at least every 3 hrs. Our nurses never minded how much we called and were very nice. Honestly, looking back now it seems like it went by fast. They were both in there for 12 days and at that point it felt like they were never getting out of there. Just hang in there and go day by day that is really all you can do. hugs.

lstaylor73 · July 2009

My guys were 11 weeks early and came home the week before their EDD. Typically babies stay in the NICU until about their EDD. Call and check on them at any hour of the day or night and don't feel like you are bothering the nurses. That's their job. Make small drawings to hang in the crib or pics of you and DH. Sing, read to them, do their cares, and tke one day at a time.

Come visit us over on the preemies board!

hollyoid7 · July 2009

My boys were born at 30 weeks. They came home when they were 34 and 35 weeks old. It is VERY hard to be without them. But the FIRST night was the worst. I cried and didn't sleep the whole night. I woke DH up and we went back EARLY EARLY the next morning. I would just hold and stare at them. We went every morning for a couple of hours and then came back at night to feed and bath them (stayed about an hour or two).?

raesue · July 2009

My babies were also born at 31 weeks. Ben was in NICU for 6 weeks, Abby for 7 1/2 (she was having eating issues that kept her there longer). Having them in there was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I agree with PeaKay that they didn't feel like "mine" until I brought them home. During their time there I tried to go see them at least twice a day, and I always tried to be there in the evening for a bottle and a bath (if it was bath night). That helped me to feel closer to them and bond with them. Also, bug your nurses to let you kangaroo care them (as soon as they are ready to be held). I wish I had pushed harder for that b/c I think that really would have helped me bond with them while they were in NICU.

hopewill · July 2009

one of mine was there 10 days...the other went home with me. i visited 3 times a day and it helped once i was able to feed her. good luck.

lajolla09.30.06 · July 2009

Mine were in the NICU for 12 and 13 days and I really did not handle it well. I cried every time I left the hospital and between visits I'd just sit on my bed and sob. I was trying to pump but I'm pretty sure my crazy emotions were messing with my milk supply because I had hardly any and got very stressed about it.

The advice the nurses gave me (which I totally ignored and wish I hadn't) was to go home and rest and try to relax as much as possible for when they do come home. I spent way way too much time in the NICU, I think I was worried that if I wasn't there somehow I wasn't their mother. I was pretty much there all day every day the whole two weeks.

The good news is once they're home it will fade into a memory very very quickly.

BitterOldHag · July 2009

I have one at home and one who is still there. He was supposed to come home today but is not ready yet. We're on day 22 and its really hard to leave one and go to the other and vice versa. Family has been a godsend in helping us out so we can visit.

Take care of yourself. I hope they're home soon.

jlc071903 · July 2009

my girls were in teh NICU for 13 VERY long weeks. They were born at 30 weeks....we had eating issues that developed after we got thrush, SOOOOOO that kept them in longer. I agree with pp...they were not MINE until I got them home and was able to truely care for them.

meldoo2002 · July 2009

Our boys were born at 30w3d, they were in the main NICU for a week and then in the Critical Care Nursery for 4 weeks and 5 weeks. They came home at 35 and 36 weeks gestation. Our NICU said most babies go home around 36 weeks, but they tell parents the due date so you don't get your hopes up. I spent at least 8 hours there each day. I'd go around 8am and leave around 2pm then DH and I would go up at night after he got out of work. They are our first children and I was out on maternity leave (required I take 6 weeks per my MD) so I had nothing better to do than hang out with them. I did all their care once they got big enough. I changed them, fed them (bottle and breast), bathed them, dressed them. When they were tiny we just held them and did kangaroo care as often as we could. I think that holding them and talking to them is all you can really do. I know some people read and sing to them, but it just wasn't me when they were that little. When 1 came home before the other I was allowed to bring the other back with me (some hospitals don't let you) so everyday we went and hung out. They even kept a crib there next to his brothers for me. Honestly when they were there it seemed like forever, but now that they are home it seems like it was just a blip in time. Good luck and feel free to page me with more questions.

Moonpie73 · July 2009

My girls were in the NICU 58 and 71 days. They were born at 29wks, 4days. It was hell. I agree with the PPs that it was hard to feel like they were mine - especially when I had to get permission or help from the nurses to hold them or feed them. Going home is tough too. Though we moved into our house the week after they were born so I took time to unpack the important stuff.

But I have to say between going back and forth to the hospital twice a day and pumping, it was all I could do to focus. I was completely exhausted and depressed so I did nap in between visits and did the usual - laundry and cooking.

For bonding, make the nurses help you kangaroo the babies. It's the best bonding you can have. It doesn't matter if you hold them for 5 minutes or 50 minutes. The babies smell you and listen to your heartbeat. Just holding them close will help. And giving them baths and straightening out their drawers also made me feel like I was "mothering" them as well as doing all of their care (ie, diaper changes, weighing the diapers, taking temps, etc.)

Keep your chin up. Both of my girls were home 3 days before their due date so you have hope.

MoMs with babies in NICU (past or present)

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