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3rd Trimester
Dear DH, (long-ish vent)
Why aren't you involved in anything that has to do with our LO? If it seems as though I'm pushing you away, I sort of am now, because every time I had mentioned things you could do to help, you'd sort of roll your eyes and not seem to care. Like it's some kind of a hassell for you or something. My mother has been a hell of a lot more emotionally vested than you have. I don't mean to bring money into the equation, but exactly how much of your paycheck have you spent getting LO some things? Not a penny. I, on the other hand, saved up $3,000 to cover a month's rent and payments, and LO's remaining things that I need to purchase. You won't even do so much as browse the baby isle with me at Target.
As for the cat litter, for an entire week you claimed you were cleaning it, but after I smelled what was coming out of there, I opened the litter box and poor Buddha had nothing left to sh*it in. So I clean it now, as you can clearly hear me every night slapping on heavy-duty gloves, bending over with the plastic bag and scoop, and groaning because bending down for that long is agonizing on my back. And you say and do nothing. Abso-f*cking-lutely NOTHING. WTF is wrong with you? You asked me to marry you, I said yes. Although I am having your child and will love her 'til the day I die, I'm regretting for saying yes to the likes of you. I know you weren't ready for a baby - Guess what, idiot? Neither was I. But I am going to jump right in and give it all that I have because it is my RESPONSIBILITY. I guess that is where we are different. For Godssakes why can't you just be a man for once instead of an over-sized boy with hair on his balls? By the way, your mother is a loud, obnoxious, f*cking b*tch who is ALL TALK. Just like you. If/When we separate, you can go live with your mom like the bi*tch made mamma's boy you are. She'll take care of you and make sure her grown adult son gets every little thing he needs spoonfed to him. Ugh. Disgusting.
So what's up with this bullsh*t answer "You're pregnant" every time I say I feel ugly (which is, oh, once a month - if that)? Uh gee, last time I checked I was pregnant. I know I'm not nearly as attractive as before, but damn. Surely you could come up with a better answer than that. Way to make a woman feel like total, and I mean total crap. For better or for worse, huh? F*cking liar.
And it is these little things that start to add up and make me wonder if I even want you in the delivery room with me - because if you think I'm ugly now, do you really think I would want you seeing me in my worst state ever, popping out a baby? Why the f*ck should I worry about how unattractive I look to you while I am giving birth? Yeah, that's what I thought, you miserable little twit. I feel like don't even know you anymore, DH. You've actually turned out to be one of the most shallow people I've ever met and all the trust I had in you is gone - I don't know what else to say anymore. You broke my heart, DH.
Signed,
Wife
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dear DH, (long-ish vent)
"You're gonna miss this You're gonna want this back You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast..."
This... I'm so sorry
::::hugs to you:::::
soooo very sorry dear, hope things get better soon and that H of yours realizes what he is about to lose if he doesn't wake the heck up...
I would highly suggest printing your letter out and mailing it to his work. When he opens it at work he won't be able to be upset with you, and will have ALL day to think of the way he makes you feel. I would also seriously consider telling him that you are excited to have your LO so you have someone to love you back.
Sorry I am lurking from 2nd tri! I really want to just give you a huge hug! I'm so sorry!
Joaquin's hospital and Isela's birth center med & intervention free "hypnobabies" birth stories
Thanks for the hugs and support.
I am looking forward to my LO, but girls... I am scared to death of what's to come between DH and I after she is born. He is either going to do a 180 or fail. If I leave him, his mom will (of course) fabricate the whole story to make him look like the victim. I'm close with some of his family, however, so at least some of the truth will leak through at some point. I know his brother would rip him a new one if he knew half the sh*t that he's done. Bottom line though is that DH would be missing out - BIG TIME.
I'm also scared because my father was never there for my brother and I. By God if DH is the same way with LO, I'm not sticking around like my mom did for the first 13 years of my life. The damage had already been done by then. I think not having a father/male figure in my life had messed me up in many ways as I was growing up. To put it simply, I ended up not knowing what the "ideal" man was supposed to be - I had no example to set my standards. Thus, I had no standards. I ended up sleeping around a lot, pushing away the good guys for some reason, and dating a bunch of idiots - druggies, cheaters, low-lives, etc. I am a lot wiser now, but just didn't know any better at the time.
So as God is my witness, LO will not, not, NOT go through the same fatherless struggle I went through - Over my dead body. If DH doesn't shape up within the first year or two, he's out of our lives. I am sure there are plenty of genuinely good, responsible, single dads out there looking for love.