DH and I got into a huge fight- am I overreacting?

Alli3586 · June 2009

We are having DH's bday party on Sunday. When we were making the guest list I told him that I didn't want this couple at our house. It is a friend of his and his psycho baby's mom. I know for a fact she is cheating on him and she is just full of drama. I don't want her in my house. Period. He said that's fine since he doesn't like her either. Well, yesterday he was talking to the guy and I heard him inviting them to the party! WTF?! We BOTH decided they were not going to come.

I know it's his friend (the guy) and I know it's his bday but am I wrong for not wanting her here? She smokes weed, drinks and is always starting something.

So now DH and I are in this huge fight, should I apologize and just deal with it or stand my ground. I feel really bad because I do want him to have a good birthday but it's not like this guy is his bff or anything, they just used to work together.

Sorry if this is rambling and long, I'm just pissed.

KathrynMD · June 2009

backdown - its his party, if he wants douchebags there, its his call.

fauxbunny · June 2009

Maybe compromise and let his friend come, but not his trashy girlfriend?

kgb1411 · June 2009

hmm...sounds like this girl is already starting drama. Damn, she's good.

Judah'sMommy · June 2009

fauxbunny:
Maybe compromise and let his friend come, but not his trashy girlfriend?

I don't think this would fly, only because it puts the friend in a horrible position. You can't invite someone and disinvite their significant other just because you don't care for them.

I think you might have to suck it up. She isn't going to be smoking weed at your house, and it's your husband's party. He has a right to invite his friends, and girlfriends are pretty much a package deal.

Out of curiosity, if you aren't that close to these people how do you know all their business?

Lucky_Dragonfly · June 2009

seems like you H doesn't know how to think on his toes and got backed into a corner and had to invite them over. I guess just grin and bear it and watch the girl like a hawk.

KMB7 · June 2009

KathrynMD:
backdown - its his party, if he wants douchebags there, its his call.

Ditto

And remind him next time not to go back on a decision you two made together.

EastCoastBride · June 2009

As long as she's not smoking weed or drinking in your house, or cheating on her boyfriend in your house - I think you need to let this go.

If this friend is friends w/ other people who will be coming, your DH may have felt awkward in the moment of excluding this guy.

But kind of said by another poster - she really can only create as much drama as you all allow. And you've already gotten up in arms over this - the drama is already starting and she hasn't even come over yet.....

Alli3586 · June 2009

Judah'sMommy:
fauxbunny:
Maybe compromise and let his friend come, but not his trashy girlfriend?

I don't think this would fly, only because it puts the friend in a horrible position. You can't invite someone and disinvite their significant other just because you don't care for them.

I think you might have to suck it up. She isn't going to be smoking weed at your house, and it's your husband's party. He has a right to invite his friends, and girlfriends are pretty much a package deal.

Out of curiosity, if you aren't that close to these people how do you know all their business?

Long story. For awhile she would call me all the time to vent (she has no friends). Well one day she accidentally sent a sex text to me which had my DH's name in it. Turns out she meant to send it to the guy she is cheating with who happens to have the same name as my DH. (she has our name as B and A in her phone and the guy's name was B, which is how she sent it to us on accident) After all this I told her I didn't respect that (she has a 4 month old with my DH's friend) and couldn't really be friends with her. Then she talked all kinds of *** about me, blah blah blah.

KensBarbieNJ · June 2009

This girl will eventually bury herself. let her come, watch her like a hawk (like PP said) and let DH have a happy birthday. It stinks big, for sure. But it's his birthday. And I'm sure you won't be happy if she's there. She'll find someone to bore with her drama and talk to. Maybe that person will let her BF in on what she's been doing.

Gramyson · June 2009

she sounds like a real gem. i would concede though, it's his birthday and he can cry if he wants to:)

misjenn · June 2009

If it's his party let them come. Also just because she smokes weed and drinks isn't an argument for her being a bad person. Maybe it's a lifestyle you don't like but it doesn't make her a bad person.

Alli3586 · June 2009

misjenn:
If it's his party let them come. Also just because she smokes weed and drinks isn't an argument for her being a bad person. Maybe it's a lifestyle you don't like but it doesn't make her a bad person.

It does when she is home alone with her kids smoking, getting drunk and popping pills.

MegGary · June 2009

Alli3586:

misjenn:
If it's his party let them come. Also just because she smokes weed and drinks isn't an argument for her being a bad person. Maybe it's a lifestyle you don't like but it doesn't make her a bad person.

It does when she is home alone with her kids smoking, getting drunk and popping pills.

Do I know this girl? lol Seriously I know of a girl just like this. Only she has 3 boys that are older.

She is not welcome to any of DH's friends homes. She stole perscription drugs from a friends home & blamed it on me. I had to suck it up & invite her to my wedding because her boyfriend (DH's friend) was in the wedding. I will NOT allow her in my home though. She did some messed up stuff to me & other friends & has yet to take ownership of it & appologize. She's a piece of sh!t.

Anyway, I would stand my ground & not allow her in my home. Thats just me though. I refuse to entertain people that do me wrong.

happilyhis · June 2009

Alli3586:

misjenn:
If it's his party let them come. Also just because she smokes weed and drinks isn't an argument for her being a bad person. Maybe it's a lifestyle you don't like but it doesn't make her a bad person.

It does when she is home alone with her kids smoking, getting drunk and popping pills.

Also, someone doesn't have to be a "bad person" for you to not want them in your house. I may not want you in my house because I don't like your perfume. It's my house. After reading everone's responses though, I guess it would be ok to just let it go. They've been invited, but if you and she fell out, she may not come anyway. Does your husband know you two had a major falling out?

PD's_Momma · June 2009

I just realized I am a huge biotch. I would just be rude enough to her to make her want to leave. But then again, I don't have any tact.

HNLchick · June 2009

meh, I'd be pissed too. But I would tell DH its his party he can invite the idiots(use a different word tho) but he is responsible for chucking them out when they inevitably turn idiotic.

Mrs.V · June 2009

I'd let it go, not worth fighting over. Your H probably just felt bad about not inviting his friend, especially since he was talking to him in person!

Want a personalized experience?

DH and I got into a huge fight- am I overreacting?

Re: DH and I got into a huge fight- am I overreacting?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards