I'm depressed and don't know what to do about it

FutureMsReeder · June 2009

Im finding myself trying to pretend that I'm recovering from all the events that have recently occurred. I don't want to show my family how sad I am because I don't want to make them uncomfortable. They think I'm doing better but I still cry when Im home alone or in the shower. I really don't know how to get out of this. I dont see how counseling will help this situation either. Any suggestions?

staycee · June 2009

I know that right now you might not see counseling helping, but it's worth a try. It could help.

I'm so sorry. HUGS to you.

yogisunam · June 2009

I'm so sorry. Infertility and pregnancy loss can be so isolating. And the emotions can wear you down, making it hard to find the strength to be happy.

Counseling has helped me tremendously as I am able to give a voice to the emotions. Saying them outloud to a person on a regular basis is a release to me, plus my counselor always asks how I am dealing with them. And it's nice to hear that my grief is real and valid.

Medication can also help by altering the chemistry of your brain, which can help you provide the perspective and motivation to do other things that help, like getting excersise and proper sleep and nutrition.

Talk to your doctor about what balance is best for you and good luck.

Big, big ((((HUGS))))

t.bird · June 2009

i'm sorry- i was really down during my BFN's & ectopic & i came very close to seeing a counselor which isn't like me at all. i think if IVF#4 hadn't worked, i would have. there is no shame in it!

sometimes you just NEED to talk to someone.

buenaestrella77 · June 2009

((hugs))

it's hard to get over what you've been through. grief can be overwhelming. like staycee said, counseling is worth a try.

i went to counseling after my first ectopic. i read books about grieving, pg loss, hoping that i could snap or talk myself out of it. i didn't really talk to my friends, family or even H about it. on some level i was worried about what they might think about my sadness. i can't tell you how good it was to talk to an objective party about everything i was going through and dealing with my family. it felt like my counselor lifted a huge weight off of me.

i'm sorry you're going through this. take care of yourself.

Mainer-in-Texas · June 2009

I don't have any good advice, but I wanted to offer ((hugs))

Dr.Loretta · June 2009

I don't see how counseling could NOT help. A lot of times it's a matter of coping skills to deal with the stresses in your life.

Would it be that bad to show your family how sad you are?

FutureMsReeder · June 2009

They saw how sad I was for about 2 weeks now. I feel like I want them to think I'm ok so that they are ok. I know it sounds silly, but i just want things to be ok again. And when I pretend, it seems like they are ok. I even feel better for a while. But then, when Im home by myself since its summer vacation, I cry ALL the time. Then I feel silly cause I know how early my pregnancy was and feel badly for feeling so sad when some women lose their babies months into it. I dont know, its just so many different emotions.

Mainer-in-Texas · June 2009

FutureMsReeder:
They saw how sad I was for about 2 weeks now. I feel like I want them to think I'm ok so that they are ok. I know it sounds silly, but i just want things to be ok again. And when I pretend, it seems like they are ok. I even feel better for a while. But then, when Im home by myself since its summer vacation, I cry ALL the time. Then I feel silly cause I know how early my pregnancy was and feel badly for feeling so sad when some women lose their babies months into it. I dont know, its just so many different emotions.

FWIW, I feel exactly like this. It's been a month and I am still so depressed & cried this morning, and I also feel silly because it was just a c/p. And I don't want anyone (other than MH) to know. I try to pretend it's no big deal - I think because I hope that if I pretend things are normal, they will be normal.

kimarino13 · June 2009

I cried this morning. Hard. MH just doesn't understand why what I have been through is affecting me like it is. I think my next step is seeing a counselor, because like you, I don't want to make my family/friends uncomfortable by expressing my emotions to them.

Hugs.

Serendipitie · June 2009

Your emotions are valid no matter what, and you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else. ((HUGS)) I think maybe you should give counseling a shot - it couldn't hurt.

FutureMsReeder · June 2009

Im considering giving counseling a shot. I hate feeling so miserable and sorry for myself.

gidge · June 2009

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. I haven't been through the same situation, but I have no doubt that your emotions are valid. I hope you feel better. ((hugs))

outofcntrl82 · June 2009

Also,maybe look into IF support groups. I know its not for everyone, but for me, it helped to have that group support and not just me doing all the talking.

I hope you find your happiness really soon.

katt3233 · June 2009

I really don't know what to say, but I think everyone gave great advice so far. The emotions are hard to deal with and you shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling the way you do. All your feelings are valid. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. (((big hugs)))

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