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Success after IF
Just don't know what to do re: sleeping/eating HELP!!
I'm about to be pushed over the edge. I'm so tired (physically and emotionally). My 4 1/2 month old is not sleeping well. And I'm sleeping even worse. Claire will fall asleep between 7:30-9:00. It's later if we have DH's kids because of the stimulization and transporting to various activities. More often than not, she falls asleep drinking her bottle (FF), but will fall asleep if put into her Moses bed while drowsy. She is swaddled. She will sleep soundly until 12:30 am or so. It used to be 2:30 am but has gradually gotten earlier and earlier. Once 12:30 am hits, she "rustles" every two hours, sometimes every hour. Rustling entails pulling her legs up together and slamming them down repeatedly, rolling her head side to side and making noises that get increasingly emotional. First, I try to soothe her. I'll get very close to her, rub her chest/tummy. I've even tried holding her legs down. She does not take a paci although I've tried every single one on the freakin' market. I've even tried giving her the nipple to her bottle with my finger in it to block most of the air. This worked once or twice. I've tried giving her a lovey. Usually, one method works...but just for a minute or two, then she's at it again. At this point, she's only comforted by a bottle via dreamfeed. She will drink anywhere from 4 oz to 1 oz. I used to think that she was hungry since she'd do this at 2:30 am and then at 4:30/5 am and take 4 oz each time. Now, she's doing it starting at 12:30 am til 5:30 almost every hour!!!! I realize that I've created the situation. Call me a bad mom. That's all I thought about throughout the whole night (morning). Now I'm not sleeping much at all because I'm fully waking up and not able to fall back asleep between her awakenings. I can't go to sleep when she does because I have so much to do around the house that I can get done once she's asleep. Claire never really wakes up. She would (and has) if I just let her go. I know this problem is going to get worse if it doesn't stop now. Part of me tries to get her as quiet as possible so that she doesn't wake up the other kids. Our bedrooms are all together and even with doors shut, she can get loud. This morning, she woke up (all smiles, of course) with both arms out of the swaddle and one leg out (she got that aggressive). It's a Swaddle Me and she is wrapped tight initially. So many people keep telling me to put a little cereal in her last bottle and "that will make all of the difference." "She'll sleep like a log." But new moms and my ped say no, to only introduce cereal by spoon. We're planning on starting cereal by spoon this weekend when my folks are in town. They don't get to see her much and we thought that they'd like to see that "milestone."
I don't know what to do. I can't imagine what her sleeping habits will be if this gets worse. I am open to any suggestions. She's still right next to me because when she was eating twice, it was easier to feed her there. I'm such a light sleeper that I'd be awake for hours if I get up and go tend to her in her room. DH works rotating shift work, so he's not home many nights. I've got the flame suit on and am ready for whatever is said. Thanks for reading this long post.
Beth
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Re: Just don't know what to do re: sleeping/eating HELP!!
Honestly- I'd put her in her own room. You're a light sleeper, when she rustles, you hear it and wake up, then you try to soothe her - and she knows you'll come to her.
If she isn't right there, you8 won't wake up to her quiet rustlings and you might find that you will sleep better and that she will actually fall back to sleep on her own!
And I'd pull back on the middel of the night feedings if you know she isn't REALLY hungry. You created it, but you can also undo it!!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
(((HUGS))) No flames here. You are NOT a bad mom! None of us are experts -- we're all just winging it, trying to figure out what works for us.
Here are a few things I thought of...
Is it possible to get her on more of a schedule -- a consistent bedtime? Of course each baby is so different in terms of bedtime, but I've found that if we screw with Ava's bedtime, she is super restless and wakes up all night long. She has a pretty early bedtime (6:30/7). If we try to push it back at all, she wakes up a ton and gets up much earlier the next morning that she normally would. I know it must be super hard with other kids to take to/from activities, but if you could get her down at a consistent time every night (when she starts to show the tired cues), it may make a huge difference.
Also, if she's breaking out of the swaddle-me, maybe she is ready to do without it. We were terrified to stop swaddling Ava, but she actually sleeps much better without it because she's not fighting to get out of it all night.
I also agree with pp about putting her in her own room, if you're ready. She may be able to put herself right back to sleep, but if you're in the room to hear every single rustle, she doesn't get the opportunity.
Hang in there, honey! I hope you both get some sleep soon!
OK, here's my thoughts, and I truly believe this will work...
Put her in her crib in her own room - and keep it dark. Do you have a white noise machine - put it in her crib as loud as it goes and keep it on all night long. When she wakes up, let her cry 5 min before you go to her (tough short term, but she needs to learn to self soothe), and then go in and try to get her back to sleep without feeding - "jiggle" her, offer pacifier, use a sleep positioner to let her sleep on her side/ change her position (but do NOT take her out of the crib to hold/rock). Do not talk to her or give her eye contact or turn on any lights (those will all stimulate her to wake up). Delay, delay, delay her from eating until, let's say 2 or 3 am - even if that means numerous crying/soothing repetitions... and then after her one dream feed, do the same the 2nd half of the night... delay, delay, delay. You will probably not get any sleep and you will be miserable for about 3 days, but if you are totally committed and do not break the rules (not even once), she will change.
I remember the SAME thing happening around 4-5mos - up EVERY hour for nights on end. That's when I started giving up on swaddling, since I spent most of my night in there trying to re-do it. I did wean out of the swaddle slowly - one arm out, then both, just wrap around the belly, etc.
I also tried really hard to delay feedings until the 3a feed. That'd mean me popping the binky back in a gazillion times and laying on his floor in between to try & get some sleep, but I "refused" to feed until that 3am mark, and then same thing from 3-7a. Most of the time popping the binky in would hold him off pretty well. I did not turn on lights, make eye contact, touch him, sush him, etc....in & out quickly. I knew if the binky didn't settle him, then he was "hungry" and I'd feed him. And once I did feed him, I didn't change a diaper, talk, turn on lights, etc, simply fed.
I still do this now - it's our modified cry-it-out thing. He's never been one to calm down with me just rubbing his tummy, etc. It pisses him off more to see me standing over him and not picking him up. I let him stir awhile, moan, whimper, etc, but if he's full on crying I'll go in and pop the binky in. If that doesn't work then I will feed him.....I do this even to this day. Some nights he sleeps 13hrs & some nights he wakes after 7-8hrs and I feed him. I'm not super strict on that.
I remember that during this time I shut off our monitor (he's right across the hall), because I was waking with every rustle/stir and most the time he'd settle back down himself. I figured if he really needed me he'd cry hard & I'd wake....my supersonic hearing usually heard the stirring anyway.
Good luck! And I know during the "off" times that we had, it took exactly 2-3 consistent nights and then it'd be over. And you may have created this, but we've ALL been there, and she's so young that you can re-create whatever you'd like! And I even notice now that any change in his sleeping habits never last more than a few days, then he goes back to his regular routine, and I blame it on a growth spurt.