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3rd Trimester
anyone not having a baby shower?
I am having baby shower stress because I guess my mom is not planning one? My parents came back from Florida late this spring and when they came back I figured my mom would have been in baby shower mode- or at least trying to surprise me with one. I am now in my 36th week and have pretty much come to the conclusion there won't be one. At the end of May I told my mom I was going to throw myself a shower and put her as the contact for the RSVP's.. (Everyone keeps asking me "when is your shower?" and they are asking my husband too- I feel like an idiot not having an answer) I am assuming my parents just can't afford it right now. I know they have been struggling so???? that is all I can assume? Everytime someone asks me it just makes me fill up with emotions and want to start crying on the spot. Then I usually end up crying in private- it's such a stupid thing but it does hurt.
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Re: anyone not having a baby shower?
I wouldn't throw myself a shower. I can understand that you're disappointed but you shouldn't have expected one to begin with (especially if, like you said, you know your parents have been "struggling" lately).
If you really just want a celebration, maybe you could just have a "welcome baby" party once your LO is born?
I'm sorry your mom's not throwing you a shower like you'd hoped. Is she showing her excitement for the baby in other ways? Try to focus on what she IS doing for you...I know it's easier said than done.
It sounds like a lot of people in your life are looking forward to sharing your happiness. Have you thought about throwing yourself a "Meet the Baby" party/open house? I'm sure everyone would be excited to come.
<<Hugs>>
It's not a stupid thing. My sister just called me yesterday to plan one for the 27th. It makes me sad that it took so long and the notice is so short that many people might not be able to attend.
I understand your frustration. Maybe tell her how you feel. I did to my mom and sis, although it doesn't make me feel any better because now I feel like she's throwing a 'pity baby shower'.
Eitherway it stinks, and I'm sorry it's happened to you too!
This.
Sorry that you are upset, but I would just stay positive. If you can afford to throw your own baby shower, you can probably easily afford all the necessites for your LO. If you want to be surrounded by friends and family, have small "meet the baby party after you bring your LO home. Don't be ashamed because people are asking you when your shower is. Tell them you are planning a different way to celebrate.
DH and I elected not to have a baby shower. I had a bridal shower and it was not as enjoyable as I expected and definitely not worth the money that the hosts paid to have it. This time around we are doing things differently and I am enjoying selecting things for my child and knowing that DH and I can and will provide everything that he needs- which includes very little material items and more planning on the emotional/security aspects of parenthood.
I was in the same position. All of my family is long distance and I found out a little over a month ago that my mom was planning on having one for me in Mass with her family and some of her local friends but it will be June 27th in my 37th week! So, I told her there is no way I'll make the 9 hour trip up to be there so they are going to hold it without me and my aunt is opening my gifts and I won't receive those gifts until after LO is born. Meanwhile, a close local friend here in VA asked me a few weeks ago if my MIL was thowing a shower for me closer in NY and I said no b/c she is too busy taking care of her MIL who is very sick. So, my friend at the last minute is throwing a very small one (probably only 6 people) for me this weekend and it was planned two weeks ago. Needless to say when I found out what my mom was doing, I felt very sad and left out. I really wish we could have comprimised and met in the middle somewhere where everyone can travel 3 hours max...but that was not up for discussion with her family.
I know exactly how you feel and it really stinks and makes you feel unloved. Don't worry about it though, there are a few of us on here who did not have showers. I know how awkward it is to tell people that you are not having one...they kind of look at you confused.
My mom offered to do one, but I said no thanks. None of the people I want to be there can be because they are out of town.
I think my situation is a little different: my MIL's friends offered to throw me one, but I declined because I don't want to go to a party that's for them to hang out and I just happen to be the reason for it. I would rather not. I just tell ppl that DH and I are so busy up until the due date, that we just don't have the time for one. I explained my feelings to DH so that he can stick up for me with MIL when I'm not around. **Thank Goodness** he understands where I am coming from. (Although, I'm beginning to suspect that no one on that side cares what I want because I keep getting the question of when it will be, even though I have said no and I know they have asked MIL...)
I have some work friends who insisted on throwing me a "surprise shower." But that will def be lots of fun because these chicks know how to party.
The few friends we have here asked us about our shower and I just say there isn't one expect our work places will doing "something" we though. That spurred them to throw their own for us. So Imo if people are still asking just be straight forward and maybe they'll do something!
As for your mom - I would just ask. Maybe she feels guilty about not being able to throw you one if finances are an issue, but she should still tell you so that you know what to and not to expect.
However, I ditto the pp who said that showers do not have to cost much if anything. She could just throw a potluck luncheon.
no shower for me!!
my mom has been super supportive though and that is the most that i can ask for. she is wonderful.
I understand being upset that no one is throwing you a shower.
But, when people would ask you "when is your shower?," why didn't you just tell them, "I'm not having one -- no one's mentioned anything to me about throwing one." Then some of those friends (who obviously are excited for you) might have gone in together and thrown you one.
Don't throw yourself a shower. If you really want a party, have a "welcome baby" party a month or so after the baby is born.