Did/does DH go with you to internals?

Tomkat8403 · June 2009

I'm asking because when I had the GBS and internal done yesterday, the nurse kept pulling the curtain in front of my DH (he was sitting in a chair off to the side-where she instructed him to sit). And then she would leave the room, and I would pull it back, because...umm hello...it's weird to talk to someone 2 feet away from you through a curtain.

And then she would come back in and pull it again. The third time she came in with the doctor and looked confused at the curtain, so I TOLD her that I had pulled it back to talk to him. And she said "Oh, okay I thought I was losing it." And then she pulled it again! And the doctor looked kind of thrown off that DH was in there, and really took care to position the drape just so around my legs.

I kept thinking..."Jeez, we're sitting here pregnant. Obviously DH has been pretty up close and intimate with me before. What are you afraid of him seeing?"

So I was just wondering if anyone thinks it was weird for me to bring him along, since they seemed kind of wierded out by it obviously.

mlh21 · June 2009

Yes, my DH has been at all of my internal appointments. He stands close to my head. He also realizes that he should get used to it since more of me will be seen at delivery.

kiki-W · June 2009

DH doesn't come to my appointments. but i don't think it is weird.

i bet a lot of women want DH there.

Pesky · June 2009

He has been there for internals but doesn't go to them all. They never made him leave the room or tried to block his view. That's really odd. You'd think they'd know by now that he already knows what is down there...

Pecas13 · June 2009

I haven't had any done yet, but when I do, DH will be there if they don't kick him out. they probably just get weirded out because they are examining you in front of him. I know I probably would.

sxu0007 · June 2009

WTF! LOL that is odd, not like he is a random stranger trying to get a sneak peek at pg vag! LOL

erino&chrish · June 2009

Yes-my DH has been to every single appointment. He's seen the dildo want (several times), internals, the GBS swab, and heard me discussing my diarrhea and other disgusting side affects of pregnancy. The most embarrassing part was when he had to hold my pants the other day and saw my pantiliner...that was gross (it wasn't dirty, but still)...blech.

water-fairy · June 2009

DH will be there with me even when the internals start.

sweetfern · June 2009

I haven't had an internal since my initial 12 week appt., but DH came along to that. It wasn't weird for either of us and the MW didn't seem to be bothered by it. The only thing she asked was that he stand up by my head so that he didn't get a free lesson on doing paps.

Nov_2006 · June 2009

My DH has gone to every appt. thus far. Event he one where they did the PAP (although, I was a little wigged out....but I realized DH was not...then I was okay) DH will continue to go to each appt. He told me, I helped put the baby there, I want to be there for dr appt too. Just because I am not carrying does not mean I did not have a active role in the creation.

peachypear · June 2009

DH comes with me to all my apts, and stays during the internals. The nurses and doctors pull the curtain, but it's for privacy for if/when the door opens. DH can come and stand by me; no problem. He frequently does, and the doctors and nurses are happy with it.

Next time, just leave the curtain how they put it and have your H move to the other side.

Tomkat8403 · June 2009

Okay just making sure I didn't breach some unspoken doctor/patient thing! I didn't feel weird about it until they acted that way about it! Lol.

Daisy22 · June 2009

That's weird they acted like that. Dh has been in there for all my internals. He usually stands up by my head and there is a drape over my legs. My doc never even said anything.

ShawnaDanielle · June 2009

Yup, my DH has been to most of my appointments and has seen it all.

DonnysBride09 · June 2009

yes. my FI is with me at every appt. internals and all. afterall, its IS his baby too.. so why should I go alone? he doesnt miss work for them, we just work around it.

also the chair for him to sit in is at the end of the bed, so even today he got an eyefull. hahaha. i hate when he actually "looks" and he knows it... so he jokingly will act like hes trying to peer in, but he pays no attention really...

i think that nurse was a bit odd. if they think its odd hes there, wouldnt it have been easier for her to ask you if you wanted him to step out of the room? weird.

pshaun1 · June 2009

It does seem wierd pregnant for the fouth time and my DH has been to all of my appts andI never had this problem. Sounds kinda strange but I gusee all practices are different.

Jimsgirl5821 · June 2009

They did an internal at my first appt and DH stepped out of the room. I didnt really want him in there cause I felt weird I dont know why. But I dont think its uncommon to have your SO there at all. From what I've seen on this board, most girls have the SO go.

MKE6115 · June 2009

My DH has been to a number of appts when I had internals. Although we always have him move to the head of the bed when the exam actually happens. Yes he has seen everything down there before but I would rather him not be down there for that.

rebus82 · June 2009

I don't plan to have internals done, but if I get one later on I'll just have him stand near my head like he did when I got my pap.?

I think it's weirder that your doctor acted like that. Obviously you didn't care about him seeing anything, or you would have requested him not sit there with a prime view.?

RandZB · June 2009

He's been to a few of mine, but he doesn't make it a point to attend them. If he happened to be at an appointment with me and an internal was performed, he was fine with it. The doctor never pulls the curtain around him, and he usually is on the business end of the table. No biggie.

orion09 · June 2009

water-fairy:
DH will be there with me even when the internals start.

this. he was there at the first internal and just sat down in the chair on the side... but hey... he's going to be in the room during labor i would hope they don't mind him seeing a little vag during a simple internal....

sidenote: that is odd that they are hiding your va-jay jay from your spouse... i would tell them... ummm hello i'm pregnant! He's clearly seen or been close enough to it for me to be pregnant!

mpls_cat · June 2009

That is so weird. I just had my first internal today and DH sat there the whole time, no big deal and certainly no different than the first visit where I had a pap smear done in front of him. He could care less and he knows he's going to see a lot worse. My doctor had no issues or weirdness about it either, she just did her thing and talked to us both the whole time.

DH has gone to all the appointments and he's not about to stop going now. Especially when I read the stories about girl's who get sent to the hospital straight from an appointment due to pre-e or something else. I definitely want him by my side, you never what can happen at this point.

txbabs111 · June 2009

My DH has been at all of them (except for yesterday, but that was just because he was at work). He sits in the chair in the room which is not up by my head, but doesn't offer a direct view of the goods either. I figure a) I'm pregnant so been there, done that and b) he'd better be prepared because internals are nothing compared to labor.

Your nurse sounds weird.

Tomkat8403 · June 2009

I agree. I wouldn't want him to have like a bird's eye view of EVERYTHING going on, but he was definitely out to the side of me and I was positioned away from him. There wasn't really anywhere for him to stand up by my head the way the table was positioned.

I also didn't think about the fact that maybe they were just trying to be careful because of the door. That's a good thought...

DarcyLongfellow · June 2009

I haven't had internals yet, but DH went with me to the early ultrasounds (with the dildo wand) and he was there for my pap smear at the first appointment.

I think that your doctor's office was acting incredibly strangely!!! Sure my DH was a little uncomfortable when he was in the room with other people looking at my parts, but it was more this instinctual feeling that they shouldn't be looking. No one thought he needed to not look!!! In fact, during my pap smear, he was sitting on a chair across the room -- looking straight at me! (just by chance, he didn't try to position himself for a good view or anything!)

katypresson · June 2009

That is really weird behavior on your nurse/doctor's part. I mean, you are pregnant (like you said)...he's your husband for crying out loud! If you were uncomfortable, you wouldn't have brought him along with you. I have taken my H to quite a few appts....not all of them, but he is always sitting in the chair next to/behind me, so he wouldn't be able to see anything anyways.

Blackvelvet · June 2009

My DH was there for the PAP he just sat up by my head it's not like he hasn't seen it he was just horrified that they scraped cells off... He had no idea what they did now he thinks his physicals are not so bad.

emaria · June 2009

dh came with me to my gbs test and my doctor thought nothing of it. i don't do internals till 38 weeks (and even then i might opt out of it) but if i do have it done he'll be there. our doctor's really cool so it's not an issue. i'm sure she figures what we all figure - dh isn't seeing anything new! whenever i went for my pap during first tri he stepped out of the room just because he wasn't sure of their policy but i'm sure they would have been fine with it.

johnsoar · June 2009

no, he is working when I have my appointments so I always go alone...or with DD along. The rest of my appointments are scheduled for Fridays so DH and DD get to stay home while I go.

ChrissyK88 · June 2009

the dr did that with him during preg #1 but showed him the "coolest" parts of delivery.maybe bc it was known we werent married and i was 17 years old? with preg #2 DH was out of town for everything except L&D. this time DH has been there for everything, even internals and no one has tried to shield him from anything..

$Shoegirl$ · June 2009

He comes when he can, I feel bad making him miss work to come to a 5 minutes appointment, but when he comes they don't make him leave the room, and they dont seem to find it unusual at all either. Its an OB clinic so only pg ladies go there, and from what I gather, lots of dads go along regularly.

NManger · June 2009

DH and I work opposite shifts during the week so he only comes to the big appts (sonos etc) But in the past he has been present for internals and it was no biggie. He just sat in the chair.

chingpei · June 2009

DH hasn't come with me, but only b/c of his work schedule lately - he wants to be there...i don't think it's strange at all! like you said, you're pregnant together! nothing down there that DH hasn't seen before :P

Sandky · June 2009

DH comes to all internals. They aren't going to be worried about a curtain during labor. I wouldn't worry about it to much! You're not the only one to bring DH along.

stlJanaJo · June 2009

My hubby was there for the last internal exam. He was going to leave the room for it, but the doctor said, "is he going to be there for the delivery?" Yes. "Well then, this shouldn't be any big deal."

MrsWanee · June 2009

that's really strange! there aren't any curtains in the rooms where i go, so i can't see that being a problem. but he will come with me - hasn't missed an appt so far!

jk09uhed89 · June 2009

my doc doesnt do that for dh.

although i wish they would have done that when i visited L&D a few weeks back. MIL had to drive me cause i was out with her and no one else was around. she stayed in the room with me the whole time and docs would come in and pull up my gown without even warning me or giving me time to make sure she couldnt see anything. i was mortified. she saw more of me than i ever thought she would. i dont know why she didnt just wait in the waiting room or go home.

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