- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Success after IF
Brought baby home - when does it feel "normal"?
It is so amazing to be home with our son (we were released from the hospital this past weekend) but I feel like I am in this "bubble world". I haven't left the house, taken a shower, don't know what day it is, haven't read a newspaper, looked at the mail, etc.
It is so awesome bonding with our son after all the IF struggles but I am wondering when you start to feel "normal" again and get into a routine - get out of the house, etc.
How long did it take you?
Thanks!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Brought baby home - when does it feel "normal"?
This will be long - sorry. But this is something I wrote on my blog when DS was almost 3 months old.
There was a point in my maternity leave where I said "I crave normal". Our lives were so up-ended w/ the arrival of Little D. We were barely getting any sleep, we were taking turns sleeping on the couch while D slept in the pack n' play we had set up in the living room. We were lucky to eat half the time (thank God for all the food people gave us to freeze!! Huge life saver!). Obviously our social life was non-existent for awhile. Getting out of the house was a CHORE. The list goes on.
Now, when I said "I crave normal", I fully realized my old normal was gone. And that's fine. But I was craving a new normal, which we were so far from when I first said that.
But week by week, we've been getting there and it's just so exciting! I can't remember the exact weeks that things happened to make me feel human again, but it started with sleeping in my own bed. We finally started putting D in a bassinet that we had in our room. I may not have been in bed the entire night, but if I got even 2 hours sleeping NEXT to Jon - I was happy!
Getting out of the house to see friends was another step. That we did at about 2 1/2 weeks. It was nice to be around our friends and other adults! Again- normal.
Taking D out on my own was yet another step. When I was able to do it w/o feeling completely overwhelmed, I felt that it was a step toward normal.
Oh, going out w/o D. A couple times Jon would be on D duty while I met friends for lunch or dinner. Being able to see friends w/o the little guy w/ me and having adult conversation - normal.
D sleeping in his room. His room went pretty much unused for 6 weeks. It felt really weird to have this room in our already small house entirely ignored. But once we started using it - again, made me feel normal.
Then about 2 weeks ago I feel like we took a HUGE step towards normal. We took down the pack n' play! D had been in his crib for all naps and bedtime for almost a month. Other than the ease of having the changing pad right there, we didn't really NEED the entire PNP. Taking that down and having most of our dining room back - normal!
Of course coming back to work is also making me feel normal, but this one is a sad normal. All the others are either happy norms or just regular, "this is just the way it is" norms. But coming back to work is sad.
The next step towards normal will be coming shortly- putting up our dining room table! For those who don't' know, we have what I call a "fat" dining room table. We take it down at Thanksgiving and put up 2 long tables to fit everyone in. This year, we left one of them up instead of putting our table back up. We knew we'd need the space once D joined us. But it's now been almost 4 months. The PNP is down, we've given back the swing we borrowed from friends. Jon and I are ready to have our real table back! The long table served it's purpose and was a 2nd office to us, but... we're ready!
So, once the table goes back up, it will be yet another step to normal.
I actually feel that I'm at about 90% normal now. HUGE progress from just two months ago. HUGE!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It never really feels 'normal' again, but you get used to a new normal pretty quickly. Like the others said, once all the visitors left, etc that certainly helped.
Even now though I wonder when I got so 'adult' that I have *2* kids, a house, etc.
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
I'd say within a week of bringing Fen home things started fall into a groove, we really didn't have family or friends to help us so it was mainly just DH and I so the "New Normal" started right away for us.
The day I was able to take a shower and walk with Fen in the stroller to ourlocal coffee shop was when I think I finally felt like things were right again.
There are "little" steps. After 1 week, it feels more "normal" -- you're feeling better, starting to get the hang of things. After 2 weeks, a little more -- you have figured out some new tricks, and perhaps have gotten a shower in. After a month, when you've taken the baby out, you start to feel more normal once more. And then at 6 weeks, etc...
It's a work in progress!