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star173
member
s/o strip clubs
star173
member
What point is it cheating? I've seen strip clubs, and IMO, lapdances are cheating- at least here..I think different states/cities have different laws. Oh, and don't get me started on what they do to the groom's when guys are there for bachelor parties!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: s/o strip clubs
Me too.
9/24/2011 Plymouth Firefighters 5k: 47:13
11/12/2011 Diva Dash 5k: 45:45
5/5/2012 STEM school 5k TBD Coming up in 2012:
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(in memory of a sweet baby boy)
11/10/2012 Diva Dash 5k
For me cheating would constitute DH having sex, getting a BJ, a hand job or any form of making out. I, too, have been to several strip clubs (more than my husband) and I don't get my panties in a twist over them. Thankfully, my DH isn't into strip clubs.
Really? I won't flame but I think that's weird. Are you saying that by simply crossing the threshold of a booby bar, he is cheating?
I don't think a lapdance is cheating. A handjob - maybe but a lapdance on it's own? No.
I wouldn't consider it cheating but I would consider it inappropriate behavior for a married father of two.
If he was going as part of a bachelor party I would understand, I would not be okay with any reason other than that though.
I am a lucky lucky girl who's DH HATES stripclubs. He has been to one for my brother's Bach party (and called me while he was there to inform me that the Olympics was on the TVs over the bar, so he was in luck!). He is going to another Bach party this July and it will include a stripclub. I am uncomfortable with this, FOR SURE, but so is he, so somehow this makes it better. He would never let the girls touch him and is basically there to drive everyone home since he doesn't drink.
Now, if the other guys were to hire a private stripper to come to the hotel room, I would be mucho mucho upset. The private parties get WAY too personal. Again, DH would leave on my behalf... and on his own too.
so I take it he does not look at internet porn?
It's cheating when he does something to her. When he tries to touch her, which isn't allowed anyway.
He can look at naked women all he wants. HeII, he can do it on cable, and I don't consider Cinemax cheating. But when he decides to put his hands on one of them, that's cheating.
Mine doesn't go to strip clubs, but I wouldn't be upset if he did. I'm also not upset by video, magazines, or whatever post-adolescent fantasies play in his head. I'm the one he touches.
I didn't say it is cheating(as in physically cheating), just considering my -feelings- I would feel like I had been cheated on.
It has to be different where you guys live. Outside of Orleans parish- a lapdance, the girl has pasties on and has to be on a box thingy. In Orleans parish- let me tell you, it's cheating. There are no rules or regulations. You could pretty much have a naked woman strattling your husband with her tits in his face. If that's not cheating- well, you guys have a very different marriage than I do.
ETA: straddling, haha.
No, he doesn't. or movies, or magazines.
Yes. This would not be okay. I live in Utah and strip clubs are not like that. Strippers have to be behind like a bar and there is absolutely no touching.
ITA.
I feel bad for people who feel like their DH just looking at a woman is cheating, or crossing the threshold of a strip club. Not in a "I feel bad for your children" kind of way; I genuinely feel bad. I'm sure there are a lot of self esteem issues involved (I have my heaping helping of those, they just aren't manifested in that particular area).
Personally - I'd be more devastated if DH became emotionally involved with someone and never even kissed them, than I would if he got a lap dance from a stripper.
I disagree that it's a self-esteem issue. I mean, maybe in some situations, but I think in most cases it's just that some people have very different marriages and ideas of fidelity. As long as both partners are in agreement about what their marriage is going to be, I don't see anything wrong with that.
I hate when the women on here flame everyone who doesn't agree that porn/strippers is no big deal.
I've been to a strip club. It seems pretty damn close to cheating to me. The strippers put their mouth on the crotch of the guy's pants, let them touch their boobs (or even lick them...)
I am absolutely not ok with my DH doing that. Would he be allowed to do that anywhere else? ?
I don't see any flames in this thread.
Did I miss the part where I flamed anyone?
Sorry, I should have added I meant in the past with all the porn discussions, not today.
My has been to one strip club for his bach party and it was BYOB, so you KNOW how classy of a joint this place was. His friend wanted to buy him a lap dance but he told him to keep his money. I mean he told me everything about it and I even sleep in the free tshirt they gave him for his party.
To me that was like a haha momment, but if H was like getting into getting rubbed on my some stripper then it would be another story. I'm not really keen on my H getting happy in the pants by another woman shaking her jubblies in his face.
Ok good. Because it's been a long day and I'm feeling ornery.
I am very thankful that I don't feel it is a big deal. Would I feel like it was a big deal if my DH had a problem with it, yes. But I also acknowledge that for some women, any interaction with the subject matter might be construed to be "having a problem". I personally strongly disagree with that viewpoint, but that doesn't negate their right to feel that way. Be it a religious viewpoint, a self esteem issue, or a strong moral issue.
The reason I feel bad is because, again, I'm thankful not to feel burdened by it. I have my share of demons to struggle with. But to me, a problem would be porn, strippers, etc, interfering with daily functions in my household, with financs, with work, etc. Not simply looking at an issue of Playboy, watching Boogie Nights, or going to Centerfolds.
I take umbridge with anyone who may criticize my personal stance on the subject when I have taken great care to be respectful of theirs. (Not saying you were doing this. Just saying it in general. I have seen this topic get way more heated at more reasonable times of the day).
I missed it if you did.
I completely agree that I am a lot more concerned with my husband's brain and his heart than his body.
His body can respond without his brain or heart being engaged. He won't leave me because he gets a hard-on for Angelina Jolie. And frankly, that's what we're talking about. A sexual response. He can do that himself in his sleep. His right hand can do that, and I don't think he'll leave me for himself. A sexual response is biological and fleeting. He can get it with a prescription. We could go to Hooters and he could have the same reaction while being served steamed oysters by a waitress in hot pants and a tight shirt. Big freaking deal.
Every time his d!ck twitches, it's not cheating.
Hmmm, the clubs that I've been to in Atlanta and DC had no-touching rules. If a man touched a girl, he got the boot. No licking, no caressing, nothing. Hands by his side or else.
DH isn't a fan of strip clubs at all. If he got a lap dance, I would be upset but I would not be on the phone calling my lawyer or my pastor to discuss his actions.
This should be on bumper stickers.
Bahahahahaha!
FTR, I've been to more strip clubs than DH has. They are definitely not the dens of sin and crotch-to-mouth activity that they seem to be in other parts of the country.
Of course, I've never been to upscale dancy places. I've been to the place across the highway from the bar where we play volleyball.
Me too. Thankfully, DH also considers it cheating.?
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown
Married 3-1-08 | Nathan 11-24-08 | Kaelyn 11-30-10 | Alicia 8-17-13
That is how I felt too. He always tells me everything. For his Bachelor party My BIL told me that my H gave most of the lap dances people bought him away to our single friend who appreciated them more. He told me the one stripper was telling him how lucky I am yadda yadda. I don't worry about him. But I am lucky enough to have a trusting relationship and a good bit of self confidence. I know not everyone is like that so I understand why people get upset, for me it is not that big of a deal. Everyone is different.
For us, strip clubs are definitely not cheating, even lap dances. As I said in the other post, we went to a strip club together (with his GM and my BM) and I had more fun than he did.
That said, I don't flame anyone who feels this way as long as your DH is on the same page. I think it's important that you have very clearly delineated lines about what is or isn't cheating in a relationship so there are no surprises down the line... DH and I know exactly what constitutes cheating for us, and there's no ambiguity whatsoever and we both know that crossing the line we've set has consequences.
I could sell them on Etsy.
Going to a strip club, in my opinion, is NOT for married or attached men period. I also DO NOT agree in the slightest with having a night of T & A and lapdances before getting MARRIED. Yuck! I am dead set against my hubby seeing ANY T & A unless they are mine.
We definitely have this in common!?
Ditto.
I don't have a problem with strip clubs. My DH doesn't really go, because the only stripclubs we have in town (a whole whopping TWO clubs lol) are pretty skeezy. But I wouldn't be bothered in the least just by him going.
If he touched one that would be a whole other issue.
ETA - and I have to add, I don't care about lapdances. Here, a stripper can give a lapdance, but you can not touch her. The second you lay a hand on her, the bouncer will throw you on your ass faster than you can say giddy-up.
By touching, I meant BJs or any 'non lapdance' messing around.