To spank or not to spank?

TiffanyHenning · May 2009

I got to thinking about this last night, because one of my friends was over and asked DH & I if we were planning to spank our kids. DH and I decided a long time ago that for us, we will not spank our kids.

Have you thought about this issue? If so, what are your thoughts?

mags2144 · May 2009

not.

ToledoDeux · May 2009

I'll never, ever spank my kids. This is pretty much an absolute for me.

jennabee13 · May 2009

::grabs popcorn::

taelir · May 2009

It's pretty rare for me to actually spank. Butt-swats happen, though.

browneyes_24b · May 2009

jennabee13:
::grabs popcorn::

::pours some drinks::

ladyalmalthea · May 2009

Depends on where we are, and the situation.

I think once with a hand can be an acceptable punishment, but I think it shouldn't be the only punishment. Let me add... not bare butt spanking.

deltagirl79 · May 2009

taelir:
It's pretty rare for me to actually spank. Butt-swats happen, though.

This sounds like where I'm guessing we're headed.

JCM083009 · May 2009

ToledoDeux:
I'll never, ever spank my kids. This is pretty much an absolute for me.

Ditto. Not an acceptable form of punishment for how we believe in raising our kids and discipline we like to use.

LeelaH · May 2009

I don't agree with "pre-meditated" spanking. Like when my mom would call my dad and tell him we did something and he would spank us when he got home from work. But "butt-swats" (as Taelir put it) are totally different and I am sure they will happen from time to time.

mattsbride2006 · May 2009

Yes. "Spare the rod, spoil the child..." I grew up on spankings and I am a better person for it and never felt like my parents were "beating" me. They always did it out of love and with self control. I also spent a lot of time in corners and in time out too. I just think spankings are more effective.....

blessedinthewest · May 2009

I do not plan to. I think that taking away things or time outs are probably more effective. Such as taking away TV, toys, etc.

jennabee13 · May 2009

McKenna81 · May 2009

No, we will be using "time outs" as our primary disciplinary action. This worked really well for me and my siblings growing up, and it allowed us to retain some control during the aftermath of tantrums or unacceptable behavior, because it was up to us to decide when we were "ready" to re-join the rest of the family. I, as the oldest, was spanked a few times before my parents decided to retire that practice, and damn, is it humiliating!

Tara n Mike · May 2009

I am pretty sure that we will not spank, but don't think that I won't be strict.

browneyes_24b · May 2009

When I was very young and went to a neighbors without telling my parents I got spanked. I learned fast to tell them where I was going. That's the only time I can remember being spanked. It was effective.

I don't plan on spanking - but I'm not going to say never because frankly I've never been a parent before.

chelsearenee · May 2009

Not sure. DH is totally against it. I think sometimes a but swat is more effective than a time out. But DH feels that if spanking is a last resort we are saying that if all else fails resort to violence. I'll try to do without it, but we'll see.

blessedinthewest · May 2009

jennabee13:

Yes

4realyo · May 2009

we will absolutely spank our children. I was spanked (very rarely - I can probably recall every time) and I turned out great. It was fear of the spanking that kept me out of trouble and I never felt like I was being beat.

TiffanyHenning · May 2009

jennabee13:

lmao. DH's parents used a book called "Growing Kids God's Way" that I kid you not CAME WITH A WHIP.

ladyalmalthea · May 2009

Jennabee, is that a "Chick" cartoon?

*shudder* Those scare me.

jennybeams · May 2009

I think it's a tough call. While I don't plan to, there are always circumstances that will arise and I may change my mind. I won't know until I'm faced with that choice.

KatieTheMagnificent · May 2009

Hell no. No no no no no.

Gentle discipline will be the ONLY discipline in our household. Google it if you want more information.

My parents were spankers. I hated them for it. It did nothing but embarrass me - it never taught me a lesson. I always sat there and wondered why on earth they were hitting me and why they wanted to humiliate me so much.

Shananah · May 2009

I think it's easy to say "I'll never do that." I'll leave butt swats on the table and see how it goes.

rmcrae · May 2009

I don't want to say what I will or will not do. My sister for example...her first born just gets so upset and snaps back into line with just a dirty look or a time out. Now her second requires a swat on the bottom now and then. I think it differs with the child.

No bare butt, pull down pants or spank with anything but my hand type of punishments though.

jennabee13 · May 2009

ladyalmalthea:
Jennabee, is that a "Chick" cartoon?

*shudder* Those scare me.

I have no idea. The wonders of Google Images.

jennybeams · May 2009

jennabee13:

That's horrible...God doesn't punish!

BlairWaldorf · May 2009

We will spank, but not as the first form of discipline.

etude de la vie · May 2009

mattsbride2006:
Yes.? "Spare the rod, spoil the child..." I grew up on spankings and I am a better person for it and never felt like my parents were "beating" me. They always did it out of love and with self control. I also spent a lot of time in corners and in time out too. I just think spankings are more effective.....

?

That was also my childhood. There are certain situations where it can be appropriate, but never hit out of anger and never skin/skin contact.?

epopp85 · May 2009

We are whole heartedly for spanking and will sign any consent form required for school/daycare or whatever else. If our kids are anything like us, they'll need it!

purple_posies · May 2009

DH and I have decided that that's not our thing. My SD is very well behaved and we only need to do time outs with her. I think her mother does spank on occasion, but it's not something that we're personally comfortable with.

I'm kind of a hard ass anyway, so if I tell my kid I'm going to do something (like, I've given you a warning, if you do this one more time, I'm taking this toy away until you can earn it back and you're going in time out) then I do it. I don't know that I don't have the patience ... but I just want my kids to grow up and be good people.

t.bird · May 2009

if our child's actions/behavior warrants a spanking, a spanking s/he shall recieve.

sawyer2 · May 2009

yes, i believe there are certain situations where it is nessacry (sp). Ex. one day ds ran out into the street and he got a spanking for it 3 swats and it being explained why he got them. He has never tried to run into a street again.

In situations where it could cause harm to a child they need to learn that those things hurt, like turning the knob on the stove, going into a street, trying to get into a pool.

miss_beckman · May 2009

I will spank.

Butt swats first-

and once old enough spanking.

I was spanked as a child- and It taught me to keep my nose cleaned. I didn't like them so I did whatever I could to avoid them.

(And not to mention- DH is the more diciplinary one-) I KNOW he will spank

cahill126 · May 2009

jennybeams:
jennabee13:
?
That's horrible...God doesn't punish!

?

DID YOU NOT READ ABOUT THE ARK???

?

cahill126 · May 2009

And yes, me and DH discussed this while we were dating. ?"swift and severe punishment" is what my Dad likes to call it. Lol, I don't think we will be severe, my dad never actually spanked me, it was always mom, and they KNOW that a child doesn't want to get hurt, and will therefore do what they are told. ?We will be spankers. ?And our kids will probably be angry at the time. ?They will get over it and one day spank their children.

KatieTheMagnificent · May 2009

I'm so sad to read some of these responses.

Please remember that there are many other ways to discipline your child and encourage appropriate behavior other than spanking.

jennybeams · May 2009

amorris2@harding.edu

I absolutely did. I guess it all depends if you're Catholic. God has punished in the past, but since Jesus, Catholic's believe that God does not punish.

rmcrae · May 2009

KatieTheMagnificent:

I'm so sad to read some of these responses.

Please remember that there are many other ways to discipline your child and encourage appropriate behavior other than spanking.

Now everything was going fine until you brought your judgement into what others believe.

Shame, shame.

JCM083009 · May 2009

KatieTheMagnificent:
I'm so sad to read some of these responses.
Please remember that there are many other ways to discipline your child and encourage appropriate behavior other than spanking.

I agree. Some are a little over the top to me.

What I can't figure out and I suppose I never will, but how do you teach a child that things like hitting and other violent acts are wrong, but doing such things to them? To me, that would be beyond confusing, among many other reasons I see not to spank.

burning_television · May 2009

etude de la vie:
mattsbride2006:
Yes.? "Spare the rod, spoil the child..." I grew up on spankings and I am a better person for it and never felt like my parents were "beating" me. They always did it out of love and with self control. I also spent a lot of time in corners and in time out too. I just think spankings are more effective.....
That was also my childhood. There are certain situations where it can be appropriate, but never hit out of anger and never skin/skin contact.?

same for me. and as a last resort; never, EVER out of anger or to humiliate. i'm sorry, but a child needs to learn.?

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