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Preemies
How much time visiting NICU?
I delivered our daughter 5/21 (past Thursday) at 37 wks, but she was only 5 lbs, 5 oz so they sent her to NICU just to check. She ended up needing to stay because she stopped breathing. Since, she has dropped her oxygen levels several times and is in an incubator to regulate her temp. She is breathing room air now, off IV nd antibiotics and eating well (60 ccs this morning). But they have no clue when she'll come home.
We are finding it really hard tpo balance visiting time with her, but also spending time at home with our 2 yr old son. Right now I've been going in the morning for about two hours and then we get a sitter at night and DH and I go for about 2-3 hours with one set of grandparents or the other. But we just feel guilty that we aren't with her every second, but we also feel guilt that we aren't with our son more. But if we take our son somewhere, like the pool, it feels bad to be having fun without Brooke there. Is it normal to feel this way? Any suggestions on coping?
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Re: How much time visiting NICU?
Having a baby in the NICU is a unique experience. Our DS was born at 34.5 weeks but sounds pretty similar to your DD. Once I left the hospital, I would go to see him from about 1pm to 7 or 7:30pm and my husband would be with me for a bit because he dropped me off (he went back to work so he'd drop me off on his lunch break and pick me up after work). As we got closer to bringing him home we'd stay longer and later at night. We would still go out to dinner and try to do a few fun/normal things. He was only in the NICU for 12 days. While I cried when we had to leave him there, I also knew I couldn't be one of those moms who spent 24 hours a day there or I'd go crazy esp. since I had a c-section to heal from. Since you have another child to care for I'd imagine it would be even harder to be at the NICU all the time since a lot of that time is just spent sitting and watching them sleep. As long as you are doing what you need to do (learning to take care of DD, breastfeeding, keeping up with her status, etc.) and feel like she is in good hands, I wouldn't feel guilty about trying to also maintain the other important things in your life and have fun. I'm sure not everyone agrees with me, but you do what works best for your family!
Yes, it very much is a catch 22. I know the nurses there take very good care of her. I think she's the only girl there right now but they are totally in love with her. They save her the best little dresses and blankets and everything. And when I am there, she's of course just sleeping. I want to touch her and hold her, but of course I know she just needs to rest. I'm pumping right now as much as I can, and I know she's having formula about every other feeding, but we will startbreastfeeding soon I hope.
BUT, on the other hand I feel like she won't know who her mommy is and we aren't getting that great bond like we should be. I know I can't be there 24/7 and I honestly don't know what I'd do with DS if I did go to see her more.
Hearing what others did makes me feel better though. I'm still new to this whole NICU mom thing and I try to look around and even say hi to the other families there, but I think they are in the same boat as us. Thanks though for the support.