Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

The Crazy Truth

I was really starting to feel good about my pregnancy.  I had a mini bump, and I was wearing maternity clothes.  I just went into my 11 week appointment on 5/19/09.  They put me on the scale and said I weighed 141lbs (this is the most I have ever weighed-and of course, said it is because I am pregnant).

The doctor tried to use a doppler and could not find a heartbeat.  She then did a abdominal ultrasound, and still could not find a heartbeat.  So she then vaginal ultrasound, and at that point, she let me know that there was no longer a heartbeat. And the baby was only measuring 7 weeks.   

The last ultrasound that I had was at 7 weeks, and the assistant said there was a heartbeat.  The crazy truth is that you really never know when the baby will actually stop growing and there will no longer a heartbeat.  I guess I thought I was lucky enough to get a heartbeat to begin with.  It has been a rollercoaster with my bleeding episodes--I was hoping that I would still be lucky this far along as well. 

I am okay.  Just a little in shock.  And I took Misoprostal last night so it is an understatement that I have needed pain killers.  I finally started passing blood clots last night.  And I am hoping to just be able to move on, and eventually get the confidence to TTC again. 

imageimageLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image BFP on 07/18/08. Miscarriage 07/30/08. BFP 3/25/09. Confirmed second miscarriage, no heartbeat, no growth beyond 7 weeks, 5/19/09. TTC again, on baby aspirin, due to value of 23 on Anticardiolipin Antibodies. BFP 11/15/09. Brown spotting, Beta 3735 11/25/09, Beta 5602 11/28/09. Anticardiolipin Antibodies now negative, still on baby asprin. On 100 mg of Prometrium (progesterone) until 10 weeks. Good heartbeat at 1st appt. 12/16/09. Started taking fish oil. Perigestational hemorrhage and red bleeding 12/17/09. 2nd Ultrasound-8 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/17/09. Baby measured 9 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/23/09. Good NT Scan on 1/8/10, heartbeat 164. EDD 7/28/10. TEAM BLUE! Aidan Thomas born on May 26, 2010. Baby #2, BFP 11/27/11, EDD 6/5/12. TEAM PINK! Noelle Elizabeth born 4/30/12. Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God.
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Re: The Crazy Truth

  • xnbridexnbride member

    Oh my gosh. I can't believe this. This is such a shock. I am so very sorry that you are going through this again. Oh sweetie my heart just aches for you. This is just not fair. 

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

     

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    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

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  • Oh goodness, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.  I will pray for you.    ((((HUGS))))
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  • I am so very sorry hon.  Big hugs to you.
  • Irish~

    I am so sorry that you have to go through this horrible experience again, it just is NOT FAIR!!!  Please tell me that they are going to offer you some testing/counseling?

    Sending you positive thoughts and hugs!

    Much Love~

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers BabyFruit Ticker
  • I just feel awful. I'm so sorry this is happening to you again. I remember how happy I was for you when you found out. Your right that life holds no guarantees. I hope you take the time you need to heal and know we are always here for you. Big hugs.
  • Irish,

    I am so sorry. This is so unfair. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Big Big Hugs!!!!!!

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  • I am so sorry for your loss.
  • I'm so sorry. It's just not fair that any of us have to go through this once. let alone 2 or more times.

    Super hugs to you... and dh too. 

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  • I am deeply sorry about your loss.  It pains me to think what you may be feeling.  I will lift you up in prayer.  So sorry!
    Thank you TTCAL and IF board. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

    Miscarried December of 2008, Ectopic Pregnancy November of 2009

    IVF #1 = BFN | IVF #2 = BFP: 9dp5dt (399), 14dp5dt (2489)

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6,7
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  • I'm so sorry.  Nobody should have to go through this.  Big hugs.
  • ENevENev member
    I am so, so sorry for your loss. :(
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  • Babs022Babs022 member
    I am so, so sorry you are going through this. This is not fair at all! ((HUGS))
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss and for all the physical and emotional pain you are going through.
    Mommy to Alden, born May 19, 2007 - best birthday present ever! natural m/c October 20, 2008 at 8w1d BFP April 4, 2009! Missed m/c discovered May 1, 2009 D&C May 12,2009 BFP March 3, 2010 Chemical pregnancy BFP May 25, 2010 Elias Derek born January 26, 2011! Surprise BFP October 24, 2012 Missed m/c confirmed Nov 26 D&C Nov 30 Surprise BFP February 13, 2013
  • I am so so sorry.  My heart breaks for you.  It just simply isn't fair.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers. 

    ((HUGS))

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  • I am so very sorry for your loss.  You are in my thoughts & prayers.  ((hugs))
  • Words can't express how sorry I am to hear this. You will be in my prayers.
  • I am so sorry that this is happening. I was so happy when you had a hb at 7w. I really wish you the best and I want you to know that I am thinking of you and DH.
  • Oh no...my heart just dropped when I saw you on here.  I am so so so sorry.  I know all you have been through and I've been through the same emotions...  our stories ended up so similiar which I am so sorry about.  I really thought things would turn out ok for you.

    I am sorry if I am not saying the right things, I am sincerely in tears for your as I write this...  I am so sad for you and feel horrible.  That small percentage that they talk about yet we and so many on this board seem to fall into it.  I ended up having the d&e..didn't think I could go through it naturally again.  Yet, I am having complications as well.

    Please feel free to message me if you need to talk....I'll send you my number if you want it too.  Oh sweetie, I am just ...sorry.

  • dmsmthdmsmth member
    ((hugs)) I'm sooo sorry for your loss.
    m/c April '08
    DD#1 born June '09
    DD#2 born April '11
    TTC #3 as of July '14


    My Ovulation Chart
  • I am so sorry that you are going through this agian.  My heart breaks for you and DH.  Please take time to take care of yourself right now, my heart goes out to you.
  • Irish I'm so deeply sorry you have to go through this again! my heart aches for you, i know how easy it is to get excited and let hope take over and how devastating its is to have ripped away from you. I hate that you are going though this again. (((BIG HUGSS)))
    BFP #1 May 2000 ~ Darren was born Jan 13, 2001 ~ 6lbs 2oz 191/2" ~ 39 wks due to low fluid, otherwise perfect pregnancy
    July 2004 abnormal pap, colposcopy and LEEP procedure ~ paps every 3 months all normal for 1 year
    2006 all clear to start TTC
    HSG Nov 2007 ~ all normal except mild left tube blockage
    BFP #2 Dec 2007 EDD sept 3 ~ missed m/c ~ Feb 14 2008 ~ 9wk 2d D&C
    BFP #3 Apr 2008 EDD Dec 10 ~ ectopic ~ May 2008 ~ 5wk 2d ~ emergency lap surgery, lost left tube
    BFP #4 Jul 2008 EDD May 5 ~ missed m/c ~ Aug 2008 ~ 5wk 2d D&C - trisomy 16
    RPL panel Aug 2008 ~ diagnosed with compound hetero MTHFR
    BFP #5 Nov 2008 EDD Jul 31 ~ blighted Ovum ~ Dec 2008 ~ 4wk 3d ~ natural m/c at home for my birthday
    BFP #6 Feb 2009 EDD Oct 15 ~ 4wk 3d ~ chemical pregnancy ~ Mar 2008
    BFP #7 May 18 2009 ~ Gabriel Michael ~ Jan 19, 2010 ~ 7lbs 2oz 21"
    TTC again since Jan 2011
    BFP #8 Jun 2011 EDD Jan 20 ~ 5wk 6d ~ missed m/c ~ D&C
    July - Hysterscopy removed some polyps, all clear for IUI with clomid
    Aug-Oct - IUI - with Clomid all BFN
    Nov-Jan - IUI - with femara and trigger = BFN
    back to TTC naturally on our own hoping for another miracle.
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  • I'm so so sorry about this horrible loss.  My heart goes out to you.  You will be in my prayers.  ((HUGE HUGS))
  • I am very sorry for your losses. I hope you find some answers. Are you going to have a D & E to do genetics? That is why I chose it with my 2nd mc to get some answers. (((((HUGS)))))!
  • Oh I am SO sorry to hear your news. I shall be thinking of you. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxxx
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  • (((BIG HUGS))) Just know we are here for you.  I am so so sorry hon. 
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    2.7.08 delivered twin girls at 19 wks
  • jeffraejeffrae member
    I am soooo sorry. :-(
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  • Thank you for all of your support.  I have opted for the Misoprostal option for the time being.  I have one more dose that I will take this Friday night.  I have another appointment on Friday, May 29th, to make sure that everything has cleared out.  She said that we could discuss options for testing for recurrent miscarriages.  And hopefully, my husband can get a sperm analysis done this summer for testing purposes.
    imageimageLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image BFP on 07/18/08. Miscarriage 07/30/08. BFP 3/25/09. Confirmed second miscarriage, no heartbeat, no growth beyond 7 weeks, 5/19/09. TTC again, on baby aspirin, due to value of 23 on Anticardiolipin Antibodies. BFP 11/15/09. Brown spotting, Beta 3735 11/25/09, Beta 5602 11/28/09. Anticardiolipin Antibodies now negative, still on baby asprin. On 100 mg of Prometrium (progesterone) until 10 weeks. Good heartbeat at 1st appt. 12/16/09. Started taking fish oil. Perigestational hemorrhage and red bleeding 12/17/09. 2nd Ultrasound-8 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/17/09. Baby measured 9 weeks, still a heartbeat 12/23/09. Good NT Scan on 1/8/10, heartbeat 164. EDD 7/28/10. TEAM BLUE! Aidan Thomas born on May 26, 2010. Baby #2, BFP 11/27/11, EDD 6/5/12. TEAM PINK! Noelle Elizabeth born 4/30/12. Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God, Blessing from God.
  • I had a very similar situation, I went in for a 13 week appointment, with the bump, the maternity pants, and was sure everything was okay. Also no heartbeat measuring 7w5d, I am sorry. *hugs*
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • So sorry :(
    Marie, wife to Ron, mom to DS
  • I am so so sorry. I hope you can find some peace before moving on. :::hugs:::
    bfp #1 - 8/17/2008, natural m/c 8/25/2008, EDD 4/21/2009 bfp #2 - 10/6/2008, hb stopped at 7 w 3 d, d&e on 11/7/2008, EDD 6/19/2009 bfp #3- 3/14/2009.... stick, baby, stick!!!! (14 dpo - hcg 188, 16 dpo - hcg 421, 24 dpo - hcg 14,760!, 4/2 healthy HB of 130 bpm, 4/16 HB of 178 bpm!) bfp #4- 2/2/2011, EDD 10/17/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • I am so sorry. 
    From miscarriages, a diagnosis of a bicornuate uterus, and fibroid removal surgery...It's been quite the journey but it was all well worth it. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It's humbling how much can change in a day.

    So very sorry you are going through this~many prayers.?

  • Irish, I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.
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  • Irish--- I am so, so sorry.
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  • JenyMJenyM member

    I am so so very sorry :-(

    Your story sounds so much like my 1st m/c. It really sucks to hear the hb and then you walk around for 4 weeks thinking everything is ok and then bam! your world is shattered. Life is so unfair.

    Big Hugs. Take care of yourself and looking forward to seeing you on TTCAL when your ready.

     

    BFP#1 missed m/c-d&c 10/27/08, BFP#2 BO-natural m/c 5/15/09, BFP#3 8/12/09-DS born 4/2010, BFP#4=TWINS-missed m/c&d/c 6/15/11, BFP#4 11/22/11- please stay with me
  • I'm so sorry Irish. I know how painful and confusing missed m/cs can be. After my second, I was just in shock for about a week as well. I even went back to work the day after the D&C! Take the time that you need, remember you don't need to grieve on anyone else's schedule. If you want to chat, feel free to PM me. Good luck, and I hope you have a quick recovery.
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  • I was 13 weeks when I found out.. it was a total shock.  The baby had probably stopped growing right after my 9 week appointment.. it's not fair :(  I felt very betrayed in the sense that I was letting myself be positive and was getting ready to tell people and feel like things were safe.  I'm so sorry you are going through this, my heart goes out to you ((hugs))
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Big hugs!!!!!!  Its not fair that any of us go through, much less a second time....
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