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Parenting after a Loss
Concerned over a friend's comments about DD's size
I got a call yesterday from a friend who hasn't seen DD since she was born. She called because she was concerned that DD looked very small to her..."too small". I completely disagree and explained how much I feel that DD is thriving even though she was 3.5 weeks early (she was 6lbs, 3.8oz at birth. 2 weeks later, she was 6lbs, 14.5oz). She has not been weighed since, but has been eating regularly, has moved out of newborn diapers to size 1, can't fit into "some" of her newborn outfits, definitely feels heavier to me and DH, cheeks are filling out. DD is 7 weeks now and I really think she is doing great. But now I have questioned myself and now concerned since I got this phone call. I know my friend means well (she's a mother of two boys), but I am a new mom and she truly made me question myself...
I don't want her to not give advise in the future, but I don't want to contunue feeling this way either. What would you do? I am thinking just brush it off for now and talk to the pedi next week at her 2 month appt.
How much weight did your LO gain from birth to the 2 month appt.?
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Re: Concerned over a friend's comments about DD's size
She is not a doctor. Repeat that to yourself 5 times.
Unless your pedi is concerned, I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes people need to learn to keep their "concerns" to themselves.
Chloe's stats:
Birth: 8lb 2oz at birth (7lb11oz when we left the hospital)
2 weeks: 8lb 7oz
2 months: 11lb 14oz
4 months: 14lb 2 oz
she has been about average for weight. a little under at 2 months and a little over at 4 months.
your friend probably means well, but i wouldn't worry just yet. it sounds like she's growing! all babies are different and especially girls vs. boys. my dd is proving to be so different from ds in every way, including growth. definitely ask at her appointment next week for peace of mind, but for now try not to worry.
Ditto what Valkaz said.
I'm sorry your friend made you question yourself. Well-meaning people would comment on DD's size (especially when she was a NB), but I always wished they would have kept their comments to themselves. DD is currently between the 5th and 10th percentile for weight so this still happens to us sometimes.
It sounds like your daughter is thriving and she is a real cutie!
Sounds like she was just trying to help, but definitely did not succeed!! You know your babycakes... you would know if something seemed off.
There is a little girl in Lilly's nursery "class" who was born the day before her and weighed 7 lbs at birth and had finally gotten to 8 lbs around 3 months. Her doctor was not concerned and said she'd probably just be petite her whole life. She eats well, is a darling litttle thing and is so smiley and cheerful. DD has always been a 1/2 step ahead of "O" but not any more. Now O is rolling over while DD just lays there grunting, hehe! And FWIW, DD was born 3 weeks early and weighed less than this little girl, but is a chunky monkey now, so it just goes to show how differently babies grow.
I'm sure your sweetie pie is just fine... and if not your pedi will let you know:) It sounds like you've got everything under control just fine. Maybe you'll just have to take your friend's future advice half-heartedly.
She is not a doctor. If your pediatrician has not raised any concerns over her growth, then don't worry. SOMETIMES BABIES ARE JUST SMALL. My daughter has always been on the small side, but she's thriving and healthy.
If your daughter is thriving and healthy, you don't need to worry just because she may not be the chunky munkey everyone expects.
Just like Gemini said, all kids grow differently. My LO had a IUGR and jumped percentiles like it was nobody's business, whereas my friend's baby was just a "normal" small baby at 5.5 lbs at birth and is still a little guy. Both are healthy and thriving, but just growing differently.
I would tell your friend to worry about her own kid.
You are doing great, momma!
People forget how little babies actually are at this age, especially babies who were early. DS was 4 1/2 weeks early and I am still always hearing about how tiny he is. People look at him and say, wow, my child was that size when he/she was born. But I know that he is so much bigger than he was, is eating well and gaining just as he should and that his pedi is happy with his progress so I don't let the comments get to me. But I know how it feels when it seems people are questioning you. It sounds to me like your DD is doing great! You see her everyday and you know the progress she is making. Your friend probably has not been around a newborn in a long time, and likely hasn't been around an early baby either, to realize how much smaller they can be than some others.
FWIW, my DS is 10 wks old and is still in newborn diapers, has grown out of some of his newborn outfits, but still wears a mix of newborn and 0-3 clothes, and as of his 2 month appt was up to 9 lbs 1 oz. His birthweight was 5 lbs 14 oz and at his 2 week appt he was somewhere around 6 lbs 7 oz (if I remember correctly).
I'm sure your friend means well, but like the others said, she's not a doctor. Just tell her that you know your DD is growing great and her pedi is happy with her progress, so you're not concerned and she shouldn't be either.
she is not a doctor and unless your pedi is concerned, you have no reason to be.
She sounds like she's doing awesome! Especially for being nearly a month early!
Avery was 2 days OVERDUE and weighed 7 lbs, 7 oz at birth. At her 2 week appt, she was 8 lbs (same amount of weight) and at her 2 month appt, she was just barely over 10 lbs.
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
DD was 7 lbs 3 oz at birth. She is still pretty small. She was 7 lbs even 2 weeks later. At 3 weeks, she was 7 lbs 12 oz. She was 8 lbs 1 oz at her 1 month appointment. My pedi wanted to see an increase of 1/2 oz to 1 oz per day. She is still in newborn diapers and newborn clothes. I get that comment a lot especially since most of the babies in my family were 9-10 lbs at birth.
Don't worry about what other people say who are not your child's doctor. You know your baby the best and can tell if they are growing and make sure they have having plenty of wet diapers.
If you are really concerned though, my pedi at least will let you come in at designated times each day without an appointment for a weight check.
ditto the other posts
her weight sounds just fine to me, DD was 2w early and weighed 6lbs2oz and at her 2 month appt (which was at 2 1/2 months) she was 10lbs. And we just switched to #1's around 2 1/2months.
And I hear you on the friends and advice, I had a friend call DH and tell him to "make sure I was feeding DD enough" and that DD needed a paci.
ditto this post BUT know that your friend is coming from a good place. ?She loves you and your baby and probably went back and forth on whether or not to voice her concerns to you. ?
She means well ya know?? ?Talk to your pedi. ??