- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09
I have GOT to stop obsessing about babies & sleep!
I think I have the mommy version of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after our experience with DD as a miserable, non-sleeping baby. Elliana started out like a "normal" newborn, sleeping almost all the time and falling asleep at the drop of a hat, but now she's more alert and harder to get to sleep, and seems to fight it a lot of the time.
Today, she took a nap from 10:30am-11:45am but has been awake since then--she'll doze off for a few minutes, and then wake up fussing again. In the evenings, she gets really fussy b/c she's clearly overtired but again, fights sleep.
She's still nowhere near what DD was like, but if I don't really try to stop myself, I find myself beginning to freak out that she's headed in that direction. She's been napping in the swing and sleeping in the Boppy at night, and sometimes I worry about whether I "should" be getting her to sleep in the bassinet all the time, whether I "should" be putting her down Drowsy But Awake, blah blah blah--like that matters, right? She's still a newborn and I should just let her sleep wherever and however works, right?
Please give me a "your baby is totally normal, not pre-colicky, and quit worrying about the Supposed To's and enjoy her!" speech!
Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09
My blog: Bear With Us
Ideas on Teaching Your Toddler/Preschooler at Home
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I have GOT to stop obsessing about babies & sleep!
My #2 was colicky, and I am STILL stressed out about it-- whenever he is fussy, I have Nam flashbacks, I swear to you. ?
So, I totally get what you mean.
She sounds normal, and she WILL figure it all out (the question is when)?
Hey Cubs! I know where you're coming from. I think I tried too hard to do everything "right" with DD1 that I actually made it harder on myself. There was such a small window of opportunity in which she HAD to fall asleep or else she'd get overly tired and it was nearly impossible to get her to sleep. With DDs 2 and 3, I've just let it go. They'll sleep wherever and whenever is convenient for them. If that means sleeping with me on the couch at night for 5 months, then so be it. If that means in my arms all day long, even when we're visiting the grandparents and they're dying to hold her, then so be it. It's not worth my sanity to stress over it. Plus, I just keep reminding myself that DD3 has only been out of my womb for 3 weeks...how in the world could there be any sort of routine or sleep training taking place?!
I hope you can learn to just enjoy her newborn-ness and not stress about all the stuff you "should" be doing. Throw out the rule book!
Can you come over to my house and recite that to me on a daily basis, please? What? You have 3 kids to take care of? Okay...I guess I'll just save and read it to myself, then.
Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09
My blog: Bear With Us
Ideas on Teaching Your Toddler/Preschooler at Home
Ditto all of the pp's. I didn't even have a colicky #1 and I STILL stress about sleep. I don't stress about a lot of things but I way overcompensate with my sleep stress. Both of my kids are SUPER light sleepers and I get *crazy* about keeping things quiet so they can sleep. I'm embarassed at the way I have talked (hissed) to my husband when he does something to make any noise while they are sleeping.
Anyway....things with Erin and sleep seem to be getting a little easier. Night sleep has been a DREAM since about 4 and 1/2 weeks when we finally started swaddling her. We never swaddled Evan because I was convinced that he didn't like it. In hindsight I wish I had really given it a chance because maybe he would have been a better sleeper earlier if I had really given it a chance. Swaddling is Erin's magic bullet. Swaddle her up and she down for the count. Keeping her asleep is another story since she is such a light sleeper and I have a two year old and a dog :-) I'm sure you've thought of it/tried it but I just thought I'd throw the swaddling thing in there. As far as location...Erin sleeps in the swing in our bedroom all night every night. And she's STTN so there is no way in H!LL I'm messing with that. For naps she mostly sleeps in the bouncer. I am fine with all of this. She needs to sleep, we need to sleep. Wherever it comes I'm ok with. We'll fix things later :-) Good luck!
Your baby's around 3 months is that right? That's when DS got really hard. He did not have colic, or any illness. He was almost criminally healthy the little blighter. But he WOULD NOT sleep. Seriously around 3 months he quit daytime naps! What 3 month old does that? He would *maybe* nap if we were in the car (which was rare, as we didn't own a car), or if I fed him to sleep. But he'd wake up a few minutes later totally refreshed and ready for more grumpiness.
I remember putting down the grumpiness to tiredness but looking back I do not think that was it. I think he was just grumpy. Basically he couldn't do what he wanted to do at any stage - he wanted to roll over and couldn't, wanted to crawl and couldn't, wanted to say this toy not that one and couldn't...that's just what it seemed like. He kept it up until he turned 1. Then he suddenly got the memo, STTN and walked (both for the first time on his 1st birthday).
It took me a long time to recover from 1 year's lack of sleep, but even more from the bruising "oh it gets better at 12 weeks, 16 weeks, 6 months, 8 months, 9 months" comments. Like shyte it does. It gets better when they STTN and nap and that may be anytime they chooose, or never.
I will say your baby sounds normal (well if mine was!) and that you should not worry. However I don't know about enjoy - more survive. Survive this period and it will get better once she can talk and do stuff :-) DS got so much easier and happier then.
I am so over the "shoulds". I guess second time mothers can say that?
My #2 slept in the swing all day. Then in the PNP for some of the night, then slept with me on the couch for the rest of the night. Or in the swing.
And, now he sleeps great in his crib. I don't rock him, even though I want to. He just wants to go in his crib and go to sleep.
No sleep training done at all, either.
There! E is totally normal and don't worry about what you should be doing. You're doing great!
Me with my littlest.
that's exactly me this time. I think it's actually quite funny that I put so much effort into C's sleep. It seems so ridiculous to me now. Why didn't anyone tell me to get a grip??
With Sara - she just sleeps wherever, whenever. She just started to go 'down' for the night before us. Until then (for the past 6 mos) she slept on one of us until we all went to bed together. Then we started to disturb her. So now she goes down first.
Just do whatever you need to do. It really doesn't mean anything. The whole sleep 'industry' is such crap. Sara is 829 times happier than Christopher was at this age. I really think it's b/c I just give her what she wants without reservation (I gave C what he wanted, too. But I obsessed about it).