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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
those that are having financial difficulties
I'm curuious as to what most of you women consider "financial difficulties" --- are you living check to check? dipping into only savings? have no savings? filed bankruptcy, receiving state aid, can barely afford rent and or mortgage, had items repossed etc.?
I'm not trying to be rude at all but BW's FFFC post made me think (which I agree with) that some women on here "SOMETIMES" talk about how they are financially challenged but they always have new professional pics up all the time --- so it just made me wonder what makes YOU feel like you're struggeling?
Again I'm not judging at all I'm just curious.
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Re: those that are having financial difficulties
i would say i was having financial difficulties if we didnt have as much left in the bank at the end of the month as we usually do. so if we (and im making up numbers) normally had $10,000 in our checking left over, and one month we had $5k. that would stress me out.
i also think people without savings have a rougher time dealing with finances.... i know if something happened we would have money for a bit, but other people dont have that security and that would make me scared.
I think have financial stress and having financial difficulties are 2 different things. If we have to dip into our savings I would be stressed, but that we have savings to dip into I think counts us out on "difficulties".
It's all relative though. I've been broke. Really broke. Ramen noodles are all I have to eat broke. To some people not having disposable income to blow on shoes is a challenge.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
We are living pay check to pay check with no savings. Not even a dime. I just started delivering pizza's for Domino's in the evenings on Wednesday. We are currently awaiting word to see if we qualify for a loan modification to lower our mortgage payment. DH makes a healthy income, but our mortgage is way over our heads, and sucks everything up for us pretty much. We have two CC's left to pay off. They are both under $500 and we haven't used them since Jan. We are currently on the Dave Ramsey plan, and really I think that's the only reason we are even surviving. We are on a strict budget just to make it through the month.
I hope that with the pizza gig things get at least a little eaiser, and that we qualify for a loan modification. If not we are going to short sell the house and start all over.
Our diffucluties.
We were putting bills onto a credit card until we got out income tax checks. With those we paid off DH's truck and something else (don't remember what) and now we are paying bills out of his check but we don't have much of anything left over.
I am. So much so, that I qualifed for a mortgage assistance program. Then again, I went from two salaries to just one when H left. I've had to cut back things (tv, eating out, movies) but it is doable.
I take the girls to Picture People every 3 months. I get a free 8 x 10, and my family loves to order the pictures. I copy/paste the proofs into my siggy, costing a big, fat $0.
What a load of crap. You can start a family without struggling financially.
Since I was out of work for over a year & my unemployment ran out in August we have been catching up on bills now that I'm back at work. We have no savings because we used it to move. I have medical bills hanging over my head from DD birth. If it wasn't for my mother we'd be homeless.
So yeah, there are so many different levels of financial difficulties.
However, like jculp said, We are happy so it's all good. So what if we can't afford a vacation this year. We live 5 minutes from the beach. We have our family & we have eachother & our little girl. I ain't complaining. No point. It won't make me money.
what a crappy mindset.
living paycheck to paycheck is stressful as all getout, and the one time we had to, my husband spent the majority of his time in the bathroom puking. all because of a home disaster that we were unprepared for because we had spent ALL of our savings on mine & DS's (unexpected) hospital bills.
we weren't prepared for a family, because we weren't planning on one for another 5 years, and the stress that it has brought has taken a toll on our finances, our marriage, and a lot of other stuff.
SOOO... we don't get professional pictures, don't go out to eat, aren't having a huge birthday bash, etc.
As for the picture thing. I finally splurged on DD's 1st birthday/family pics. We did all our own pictures before that. We just couldn't afford to go to Sears or JCPenny for pictures before when I wasn't working.
Wowza! Settle it! I don't think I know anyone who didn't struggle when they started a family. Lots of stuff is dismissed or put on the back burner for a few years because you just can't afford to do it all. Totally NOT a load of crap. It sure would be nice to have the financial stability to pay all your bills, go where you want, do what you want, buy what you want and put away money too. Just not an option for MOST people when they start a family.
No, he hasn't. We go to court June 1st and that will be the start of his child support payments. He will also have to backpay the $ that I spent out of pocket for A's helmet.
I don't get this either. We are our most secure financially since starting a family. I want to know that we can provide for DD if the unexpected happens. I would stressed out living paycheck to paycheck, worrying about an illness or accident that could wipe out our stability.
I just can't believe that he is not offering to pay for anything. ?
Does he provide the girls' insurance??
Two angel babies 11/09 and 4/10
For another perspective, I have an email/old coworker friend I guess you could call her, she constantly, constantly talks about her money troubles. they are a two income family, make great money - I used to work with her and she's very open about things. Great house, brand new cars, new boat, toys, etc.
She is a flipping worry-wart about money however. I think it is just her nature. I always wonder if she really has it that bad, or if all the money in the world would be good enough.
eh it is a load of crap IMO. if you are choosing to start a family, most people ARE financially secure. granted, many people accidentally get pregnant before they are ready, but if that wasn't the case, i think that "struggling" was in the past
Financial difficulties to me are surviving on Ramen noodles and spaghetti. Not being able to afford insurance. Hardly being able to afford rent. Been there, done that as a kid. Luckily, DH and I only struggled for a couple of months when we first got married. We are slowly building up savings now, paying off his student loan, save money by not owning a car, etc. I feel like we are doing pretty well now.?
I have to laugh when I see women complaining about financial difficulties on here. If it was that difficult, why do you still have a luxury like internet? Why do you still take your kid to get professional photos (yes, I realize there are exceptions)? Why do you have to have a big birthday party for your kid? I think many women feel as though financial difficulties are not being able to buy a new pair of shoes every month. It sickens me. Being poor is absolutely horrible. It is receiving free lunches in school, eating Ramen noodles every night for dinner, and not being able to go to the doctor because you can't afford it, even though you've been sick for four months.
?
eh who are you to tell someone that they are not having financial difficulties bc they are not living the same standard of living that they were before? why does "difficulty" have to equal "dirt poor"?
I couldn't do that before a family. It doesn't mean I was struggling it meant I prioritized. I do the same thing now, but I certainly don't struggle. Voluntarily living paycheck to paycheck with no savings is not something you are supposed to do when you have a family
No, I carry the whole family, including him, on mine.
it's hard not to judge people when they can afford to get their nails done every week, have a brand new car, buy new clothes all the time, but whine about how their credit cardS are past due, they can't make rent, had to put an extension on the car payment, and are borrowing money from everyone they know.
i just described my BFF who is one year older than me & still has no concept of reality or priorities.
I'm online at work, and my neighbor OKd me to share their wireless.
That is just what it means to me. I wasn't 'telling' anyone that they were having difficulties, just saying that I found it funny how people think they are so bad off when in reality they are not compared to a lot of the world's population.
And I agree with Kitten - I find it hilarious that people think they are having 'financial difficulties' when they have to 'dip' into their savings. Oh no! You are going to be out on the street for sure! ?
you realize that if my dh made $250k a year and lost his job that i WOULD be having financial difficulties. even if we had $100k in savings - the standard of living would be high. we'd have a high mortgage, we'd have higher car payments, etc. so that 100k would go quickly if we kept our life relatively the same - that is difficult no matter how much money you have. you are making it seem as if difficulties only encompass a threat of eviction or foreclosure and having your car taken away. that is not the case. dipping into saving sucks for people to have worked so hard for that little egg.
Dipping into savings = financial difficulties, If you can not cover your monthly expenses with what you are earning and have to go into savings to cover them then that is a problem. I think society unfortunately has forgotten about saving and what it means to have atleast 6 months worth of salary in the bank that you don't touch. That is what keeps you from being out on the street. Sadly many people have learned that with the turn in the economy.
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I agree. Isnt' that was a savings is for? A rainy day? Sure it can be for a vacation or a new handbag or a boat but when it comes down too it people really need to put things into perspective. Be thankful you have that savings to get over the hump.
Whats difficutl though? You wouldn't have a cleaning lady? You'd have to do your own nails & hair? You'd have to sell your house & get a smaller one? You'd have to sell a car & go with one? Really those things are not "difficult".
To most people the way we live would be considered struggling but it doesn't bother us because we know eventually we will be ok. We $0 in our savings ( do have some mutual funds & other things locked up but got crushed so just letting those hang out there) right now and our checking isn't looking that much better. We live paycheck to paycheck but that was a choice we made when we decided to move to and reaise our daughter in NYC. We pay a ridiculous amount for rent and could save a lot by leaving the city but we both love what we do and couldn't do it anywhere else.?
We have TONS of CC debt because DH was in grad school for 2 years and we had to take out loan upon loan to cover it plus living (we lived in MD and couldn't make it on my salary alone). I have never been late on a bill and we still do the things that make us happy (eating out, some shopping but don't care about designer stuff). Would love to travel but know that will come in the future when DH is making more $. ?
DH has a lot of $ coming to him in the future (only child) so I think that helps with the stresses. If something happened then we know we have help. We already have a huge amount of $ if we wanted to buy something in the future, just not ready to move out of NYC or spend $1M+ on an apt.?
You're right. I guess its all relative. However, if someone is telling me that they are having financial "difficulties" because they don't have $5000 left in checking at the end of the month their "difficulties" don't touch mine.
they would be very difficult for someone who has never done those things - or hasn't in years. if you think going from making 250k a year to having no income is just "well, fire the maid and go down to one car!" that is extremely naive. and do you seriously think that someone right now could sell their expensive home? "whoops! ill just go buy a different one!" THAT is the reason there are many foreclosures - bc when you live within the means you have, no matter how much it is, and then its taken away, you can't just "sell your home and get a smaller one".
not everyone that has a family struggles. that's an insane assumption. and living paycheck to paycheck would terrify me. sure i'd still be happy with my dd and my h, but come on that has to be stressful.
Difficulty to me means that you have to go to bear minimum and do whatever it takes to keep a roof over your head. Right now DH and I are barely making enough to pay for our bills and food. I am counting the minutes practically for the summer when I can take 6 weeks of daycare to half pay. that extra 50 bucks will lesson the stress the medical bills have placed on us. I will probably also pick up a second job here for the summer.
If not for my parents and my IL's our DD wouldn't have "nice" pictures or clothes or toys. My parents even pay for some diapers and new foods. They want to do these things and gifts to us for our birthdays are usually the extras we can't get ourselves like a GC to the movies or something like that.
When you live so tight that you can't even buy annuals for your front yard or pay for the simple extras in your life then yes thats difficult. If you think difficult is giving up your morning coffee then this is me looking at you with disgust.
No I realize it's not that easy to sell a house in this market & there is more to it. To say that having to clean your own house is scary is just sad to me.
Also THAT is not why there are so many foreclosures. The reason there are so many forclosures is because banks where giving out loans where the APRs have ballooned & also a lot of people bought homes beyond their means to begin with. So now the APR is rising as is the cost of living, people are either not getting raises or losing their jobs & cannot afford to pay for those loans that they really shouldn't of been given in the 1st place.
But did you ever think of this idea? Try living below your means? Just because you have all that money doesn't mean you have to spend it. I'm not just talking about you either. I'm saying a lot of Americans live this way.