Ack Cruz got in trouble at daycare!

tfarabians · May 2009

So Cruz is usually so great at daycare, he doesn't mind it when kids take toys from him and if anything is usually the kid who gets picked on. Well today I walk in and with a friend of mine no less to them holding Cruz because they said he has been crazy all day running around and at one point had a choke hold on one of the kids!!! UGH!!! They told me they were shocked because he is always sooo good and they have never had any problems with him before but that they needed to tell me.

I'm not sure how to fix the problem though, he has never done this before and is usually the kid getting pushed or shoved. I have noticed he has had tons of energy the past couple days and has been running up and down our hall playing? Also his new thing is throwing things, how do you get them to stop that? Honestly I really don't feel like Time Out's work yet with him. I have to hold him in the chair while he laughs at me??? Thoughts? Suggestions?

pinktulips · May 2009

Welcome to being the mother of a boy!

A friend of mine has a little girl the same age as Luke, and when they were about 4, he kept asking me "Why is he so aggresive?" and I was like dude, you were a little boy once, figure it out!

Not much help, sorry.

llking_2984 · May 2009

When DD started to do that, we would have her put her nose in the corner. She wouldn't like it and would cry, but we made sure she stayed there. It just takes practice and lots of patience on your part.

I think all kids, especially boys, go through that stage when they are little. He will grow out of it. It's just tough to deal I know. Or also what worked with DD was taking things away from her. Like putting up her favorite toy type thing. Not sure if that will help you. But good luck.

greenmtbride · May 2009

How could you discipline him?! He's too cute!

tfarabians · May 2009

llking_2984:

When DD started to do that, we would have her put her nose in the corner. She wouldn't like it and would cry, but we made sure she stayed there. It just takes practice and lots of patience on your part.

I think all kids, especially boys, go through that stage when they are little. He will grow out of it. It's just tough to deal I know. Or also what worked with DD was taking things away from her. Like putting up her favorite toy type thing. Not sure if that will help you. But good luck.

So did you hold her in the corner? I'm just not sure how to do it? Cruz isn't talking yet so its hard to communicate with him and know if he understands? I know he and I are both frusterated!

Nancy_Drew · May 2009

Aren't these little 21 month tempers the worst? I swear, DD is SO onrey! (sp)

When things do not go her way or even if you are singing she will point her little finger at you (like she is doing in my sig pic if you look closely) and say "Stop, Mommy, STOP!" SHe has starting hitting in fustrationg too. Or flailing about really. Ughh.

Maybe it was a one time thing for Cruz since he is not usually like this. ?

MelodyFerg · May 2009

We have the same problem and people just keep telling me it is a phase for little boys (and I have heard girls too) when they don't know how to manage their frustrations. Caden hits at daycare especially when someone trys to take his toy or when someone won't play with him. We tried time-outs, but they were pointless. We have to hold him there and he doesn't even care. The only thing that worked is taking away his toys. We put them on top of the fridge so he sees them and he only gets them back the next day if we get a good report from daycare (although that is even not working as much now as it did before). We haven't started it yet, but I also heard that a chart works for some kids...like a potty training chart, but for good behavior. So they get a sticker and an M&M or something when you get a good report from daycare. Now when we pick Caden up he tells us "Mommy I was a good boy today...I didn't hit!" The funny thing is he does time-outs at daycare pefectly. She tells us he sits there and waits until she tells him he can get out. Why won't he do that for us???

The joys of parenthood.

Seattle_JiLLn · May 2009

I think he's too young for time outs. I woudln't worry so much about him being rambunctious, especially if it was only once.

Throwing - you just have to make rules and stick by them. Our rule was that you can through only soft things and balls. Although now he throws too hard so now we have to only roll balls. So every time he'd throw something bad, we'd make him go pick it up and we'd remind him of the rule very sternly. he got it. He doesnt' throw stuff like that any more usually ,and if he does, he almost immediately hides his face in his hands like he knows he messed up.

AnnetteWalker · May 2009

You might try posting this over on the 12-24 month board to see what people over there do?

pixelvixen · May 2009

What about changing the location of the timeout spot? Our daycare lady suggested it when P started not caring about sitting there and it worked. We went from a chair to the bottom of the stairs and things changed instantly.

greenmtbride · May 2009

I think the rule for time outs is a minute for every year of their age, so I have no idea how you could effectively use time outs with a 1 year old. I have no parenting experience, so I am of no help, but I have heard good things about Dr. Sear's book "the Discipline Book". He also has a website with helpful info.

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

llking_2984 · May 2009

tfarabians:
llking_2984:

When DD started to do that, we would have her put her nose in the corner. She wouldn't like it and would cry, but we made sure she stayed there. It just takes practice and lots of patience on your part.

I think all kids, especially boys, go through that stage when they are little. He will grow out of it. It's just tough to deal I know. Or also what worked with DD was taking things away from her. Like putting up her favorite toy type thing. Not sure if that will help you. But good luck.

So did you hold her in the corner? I'm just not sure how to do it? Cruz isn't talking yet so its hard to communicate with him and know if he understands? I know he and I are both frusterated!

Well we had tried time outs in the bedroom and those didn't work. She just came out or played with her toys. The first time DH or I would stand there for a few min, they once she saw we weren't leaving we left her there and she stayed. We had to try it a few times but then it stuck. I agree with pixel though. If one time out spot doesn't work for you, try something else. Bedroom, chair, corner, bottom of stairs. Just gotta try something that works best for you.

energyzer · May 2009

Have you tried books about not hitting? They have these board books (DS has quite a few of them) that were written back in the day because the pictures seem to be somewhat dated. There is one called "No Hitting", one called "Hands Are Not For Hitting", "No Biting", "No Kicking" etc. Amazon carries them and they are only a few $ each. Books have always been a good communication medium for us when DS couldn't speak yet and still are even though he doesn't stop talking.

Timeouts only worked for us for maybe a month and have never worked again. He laughs at me too.

ewyldur · May 2009

DH and I took a parenting class at providence with a women named Stephanie Cross and it was fun and Nolan was 2 at the time. She said that you can't really discipline them at that age, you just need to constantly remind them if its hitting she said to say everytime it happens "no hitting, hitting hurts" and act hurt when you say it so they can try to understand and over time they will understand. Nolan used to playfully hit me with his toy cars and they are metal so it hurt pretty bad and he didnt realize how he was hurting me. And I would constantly say that. I can;t say that Nolan has done that in a long time. I've worked at many daycares and its funny because the children like Cruz that never behave in this way usually do pick up bad behavior from other children, its something you can't really stop them from doing it takes time. At least he's not biting, thats very very hard.

Seattle_JiLLn · May 2009

ewyldur:
DH and I took a parenting class at providence with a women named Stephanie Cross and it was fun and Nolan was 2 at the time. She said that you can't really discipline them at that age, you just need to constantly remind them if its hitting she said to say everytime it happens "no hitting, hitting hurts" and act hurt when you say it so they can try to understand and over time they will understand. Nolan used to playfully hit me with his toy cars and they are metal so it hurt pretty bad and he didnt realize how he was hurting me. And I would constantly say that. I can;t say that Nolan has done that in a long time. I've worked at many daycares and its funny because the children like Cruz that never behave in this way usually do pick up bad behavior from other children, its something you can't really stop them from doing it takes time. At least he's not biting, thats very very hard.

That's pretty much what they say at our BCC class.. Theyu're not developmentally ready for time outs or punishments... you just have to be very consistent, remind them of the rules, over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

You guys are in a BCC class right? Maybe ask your instructor for some ideas.

ewyldur · May 2009

Yea its harder this way but I think its more efficient.

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Ack Cruz got in trouble at daycare!

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