Did you name the baby? Why or why not?

surfergirl28 · May 2009

Since we're doing chromosomal testing, we'll find out the sex of the baby. We really want to know boy or girl, but now I'm not sure if we want to give him/her a name. But then part of me feels maybe it's disrespectful not to.

I'd love to hear how you came to a decision on naming or not naming.

Thank you. (Also, were they able to tell you the gender right after your D&C?)

corgidogs · May 2009

We did not name the baby, but I m/c at 8 weeks and there wasn't really much there. I also had a natural m/c and no they did not do any testing on it. I am sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Echloe · May 2009

We did. ?But we lost our daughter at 21 weeks. ?We got to see her and hold her and baptize her. ?She needed a name.

res4j · May 2009

No, they cannot tell you the gender after the D&C, but they can tell you once they see the karyotype (about 2 weeks later).

I initially wanted to name our baby but then decided not to...but it is a personal choice. We had a pet name for him when he was in utero and that is good enough for us to be able to talk about him as a baby without talking about him as an "it". But it is really a personal choice, for sure.

sweetsarahsmiley · May 2009

Even though our loss was so early and we didn't know for sure the baby's gender we decided to name our first little one because I felt horrible calling him an "it" like the baby didn't matter at all.
Our second one we haven't named yet (for sure - I already have names picked out though) but we will be naming her too.

here4u · May 2009

We named our lil girl because it was a late loss and we already knew the genders. It felt good to give her a name, plus we have her ashes and we had a nameplate made for her.

soontobemrsvega · May 2009

DH didnt want to know what they were. for the first MC we only had a girl name picked out magdalana ann (maggie) and hadnt agreed on a boy name yet and sadly we didnt even have the boy name down to a final two or anything. so if our first was a boy he is just baby vega :-( 2 mc we had boy and girl names picked out. abygail deann for girl and cameron james for boy. since we didnt find out the sex i dont call them by name but they have one in heaven. i kinda wanted to know the sex but then i figured i would never get passed it if i knew for sure. with both pg i felt different so i think one was a girl and one was a boy i just dont what one. with the first i hated milk couldnt even stand the smell. 2 i could not get enough choc milk i was drinking a gallon in two days!

laurncui812.0 · May 2009

We had not decided on the boys names until the night before I delivered them but I miscarried at 32 wks and at that point (more than 20 wks) it was our responsibility take care of his remains. We also got to hold him several times and spend some time with him before he was taken away. I couldnt send him to the mortuary named "Hatch Baby Boy B" so I chose the second name we had discussed the day before for our surviving boy and gave him that name.

islelily · May 2009

I had a D&C last June. The baby was about 6w3d and I was supposed to be around 9-10 weeks.

They did chromosomal testing and we found out it was due to Trisomy 16. We didn't find out until this past March that it was a baby boy. We decided not to name him, and just consider him a big brother (one day). I don't know exactly why we didn't name him, it just felt okay not to.

islelily · May 2009

Oh I should also add we call him our baby bean (See ticker). We didn't find out the results of the testing until about 6 weeks after the D&C.

1stTimeMommy2Be · May 2009

I had a natural miscarriage at 5 wks 4 days... early loss, and we obviously didn't know the gender.... in our heart of hearts, we think it was a girl; however, we gave her a gender neutral name just in case... Jamie... my little Jamie... I needed a name to refer to her by... i also went to hallmark to get kind of a momento of her... a small keychain that i can fill with small charms... i got a small cross, the would've been birth stone, the month stone when she was gone, a heart that says 'always in my heart" and a small circle with baby handprints... since I didn't have any ashes or memories from such a short time with her, i needed something tangible to remember my first child by... lots of people find it comforting to give their baby a name and many find it harder to get through.. personal decision, but i must say that i'm happy i named my baby

lewis514 · May 2009

We did name our baby angel because the loss was very late and we had 2 names picked for the girls.

JennLuvsMatt · May 2009

No. I was 10wks and we didn't find out the gender.

HugginAngel · May 2009

We did find out the gender and did name him. We just felt like it was the best way to honor him. From the beginning I called him our little turkey because he would have been born in November, but we felt like giving him a real name was the best way to make him real and give him the respect when talking about him. No one other than my mother, DH, and those on the board know that we named him. Moslty because outside of here we don't discuss it. I must say though that after we named him I felt 10000 times better.

TravelinMama · May 2009

With the first loss it was natural, so no being able to find out (I had nicknamed it dumpling though), with the second loss, I didn't want to ask. We've been hoping to add a little girl to our family so I think if we did find out it would have been to heartbreaking. Our second loss had a nick name of perogee. I never did get far along to think of a nick name for this baby though, and I won't ask either for the sex after the testing for this one either.

AlpacaBunny · May 2009

We found out the sex of our baby after the results of the chromosonal testing came back. We did decide to name our baby. The hospital I had the d&c at offers to have your baby's remains cremated and they bury them at a local cemetery, there is a grave marker there and they even had a small ceremony for all of the babies being buried that we attended. It just felt right to us to name our baby. I think it just helped me a lot and it made her more real to us and to everyone else. I also started attending a miscarriage support group at our hospital shortly after the miscarriage and they encouraged people at the group to name your baby if you felt that it was ok. Honestly at first I thought people might think I was kind of nuts for naming the baby, but after going to the group and hearing the stories of others who had named their babies, it seemed much more normal to me. We chose to name her Hope. Good luck with making your decision, and know that whatever you do is ok and normal. You don't have to do what anyone else does, only you know what is right for you.

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