feeling guilty about wanting to quit EP

can_can · May 2009

I have been EP'ing since DS was born after failing to latch (and meeting with multiple LC's). I've always had a low supply, even after power pumping, pumping every 2 hours, eating oatmeal, taking fenugreek, and finally taking Domperidone to increase it. I was giving DS half BM/half formula, and said if it ever dropped lower than that, I'd quit EP'ing.

Well, it definitely has dropped lower, DS only gets about 1 bottle a day of BM now. I just can't let myself quit though! It's becoming a hassle, and I'd love to get that time back... but I feel like I'm failing somehow by giving up.

Anyone else go through the guilt and finally accept it and quit pumping? Or do you still do it?

nora123 · May 2009

You did this for 4 months? I find that extremely impressive. I don't think I would have lasted that long pumping. I've been BF while on mat leave but just started supplementing with formula. I don't think you should feel guilty at all, plus your LO will be starting food soon.

evenstar622 · May 2009

I went through the guilt!!! I know what that was like. I still have a twinge of guilt every once in awhile. But I was miserable when BFing. I was crying all the time, I could never produce enough for DS and it was very frustrating. And I felt like a feeding slave.

I gave up sooner than you did. And I'll tell you what......my life became soooooo much simpler. I am now able to enjoy feeding my son, and enjoy spending time with him, without being stressed about BFing. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to feel too guilty about it.

My son is happy and healthy....and that is all that mattters! GL!

betsnup · May 2009

Oh, I hear you on the guilt thing. Except I always had massive producers (at one point I had about 500 ounces frozen!). When DS was 4 months I started the weaning process - I was just so burnt out from pumping and felt like I was losing so much time attached to that thing. It took me over a month to wean (my last day of pumping was about a week and a half ago), and now we are down to our last few bags of frozen BM. I feel SO guilty that DS is only getting formula now, especially because I quit not because of a supply issue, but because I couldn't take it any more.

I have to keep reminding myself that I did a great job by giving DS BM for as long as I did. And actually, as I was giving DS his bottle a half hour ago, I was saying to myself "Formula is NOT poison." There shouldn't be this guilt associated with giving your baby formula, but I do still feel it.

can_can · May 2009

My goal was 6 months, and he's turning 5 months on Friday. So i'm a month short of my goal... which is where the guilt I think comes from...

psuash7 · May 2009

Me me me!!! I quit after the most I ever pumped was 1.5 ounces and had decreased ever since. There is nothing wrong with formula. I know she is healthy and growing being on formula. It is much less stressful. EP was way too stressful for me and was making me crazy. I figured she got the good stuff in the hospital and whatever I was able to pump. However, since I m still producing milk, I have been putting her int he breast with nipple shields (works wonderfully) before giving her formula. I don't thinks she is getting much but some is better than none and it is much less stressful than pumping and feeling like a cow! GL! HTH!!!

MommaP12 · May 2009

I agree with Nora...you have NOTHING to feel guilty about, you did it so long you should be proud! I EBF and wanted to for 6 months, but like Nora, will probably do it the 12 weeks I'm on leave and then do half BM half Formula, we'll see. Don't feel bad, you have done a great job and need to do what's best for you and she's right,food is around the corner for him.

can_can · May 2009

Thanks ladies... it helps to know I'm not alone and not crazy

TCsbride · May 2009

I was in a very similar situation when I had my son. I used nipple shields for inverted nipples which I think caused my low supply. We also supplemented him from the start (premie) so I'm sure that didn't help either. But I continued to feed and pump as much as possible. I also tried every single thing I could on the market.....even the "More Milk" that can apparently get adoptive mothers to breastfeed! But it did nothing for me. I finally got to the point where I was pumping 5 times during a work day, every 1.5 hours and by the end of the day I'd maybe have 2 oz to feed him the next day! This of course was about 1/3 of his bottle by this time.

At first, I was very down on myself, felt like a failure, felt like he'd be sick all the time and if this was the "olden days" my child would have died because of me. Yeah, all the irrational stuff. BUT, once I decided that it wasn't worth me being upset over and I did the best I could, things got better. He developed rapidly, overcame his premie obstacles and hardly ever is sick (and goes to daycare 2 days a week). It was the very best decision for us at the time and made us much happier.

So GL with your decision!

dmogmo · May 2009

Dude after 4 mos no guilt necessary! I'm not even making it to one month because my supply is tanking, and truth be told I am okay with that. It was fine for a couple of weeks but the schedule just started getting to me. Now I have a ton frozen because up until recently I produced way more than I needed, but I am not taking any steps to increase my supply at this point. I think it's awesome you made it this long!

tracy042206 · May 2009

I only lasted 6 weeks with Maggie and 3 weeks with Molly on the EPing. I felt so guilty at first with Maggie but really after a month or two it wasn't a big deal and I couldn't believe how upset I was about it. You should a medal for lasting 4 months.

EastCoastBride · May 2009

I'm no longer EPing (THANK GOD), but w/ the pumping I still have to do because I'm back at work - just this week I've started the weaning process. Down from 3 pumps to 2, and I'm going to keep cutting back. I do hope to keep BFing DS in the morning and at night- but we'l'l see if I can maintain a good enough supply to do that.

BUT- I feel guilty too, but I just can't stand all the pumping anymore. It's taken its toll on me!

baby momma jonna · May 2009

I have to agree with pp. It's wonderful that you lasted 4 months. I only did it for about 3 weeks. I know how you feel though. I was pumping and just couldn't produce. I felt very guilty about it at first. She's been on formula for awhile and it's so much better. I was just so drained all the time. I felt like that's all I did was pump and then feed dd.

Bottom line, don't feel guilty! You did the best you could and that's all that matters. Cool

star173 · May 2009

I"m going to encourage you to keep working toward your goal. 6 months will be here before you know it. I know it sucks- I've been EPing for almost 5 months now, but I'm too stubborn to give up. I've cried over it, I've tried and failed at getting her back to the breast, I've said a million times, "I'm quitting!!!!!" But I won't let myself. I set out to give her breastmilk for a year and that's what I'm going to do- unless I dry up before then.

I know it's only one bottle a day, but you know that's important, or you wouldn't be doing it now. I think you can hang on for 5 more weeks. Of course if you don't, you shouldn't feel guilty, but I really think you can reach your goal of 6 months. Good luck!!!!

msabol2077 · May 2009

Yes, I ebf for 3mo and due to low supply (I tried everything also and nothing helped to increase my supply). I had to begin supplimenting a f bottle here and there. My supply became lower and lower with time and eventually I was just giving one 4oz bottle a day of bm (I would have to pump 4 seperate time for that). It really just became way to much of a hassle. I was contantly washing out my pump setting it up etc just for one oz at a time. I recently just stopped its about my 4th day. I felt guilty at 1st but the way I look at it is, my son is eating solids now and the time I spent doing all that pumping I could spend with him. I learned a lot and next time I'll do some things different. I'm happy with my decision to stop bc of those reasons and I'm happy I was able to bf for as long as I did.

I've always felt strongly about giving bm and felt a little is better than nothing. So, if its possible and you still have time and the supply to do it and its not more of a hassle than keep it up. If not you shouldn't feel guilty at all. Most woman are unable to do it at all and you did it for as long as you can.

Want a personalized experience?

feeling guilty about wanting to quit EP

Re: feeling guilty about wanting to quit EP

Choose Another Board

Search Boards