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Healthy Sleep Habits... and/or sleep help please!!
Who has read this book/used their methods? I've read and re-read parts of it and I am still a little fuzzy. Maybe it's due to sleep deprivation. My son has been getting up six, yes SIX times a night and it's killing me. This is wayyy worse than when he was a newborn. I don't know what's going on. I don't think he's teething b/c he isn't acting the way he did when his last one popped through (fussy, eating less, lots of poops etc).
My husband has tried comforting him and giving him a bottle, but it makes thing worse and he screams bloody murder until I go in. He usually eats 2 or 3 times per night; the other times he needs to comfort suck a few minutes to go back to sleep. I've been putting off any type of sleep training, but I know I have to do it. I'm still not sure if I can let him cry it out, but I think I need to try. What have others done? I have a few concerns: He will not go to sleep w/o his paci. I don't want to not go check on him if the only reason he's crying is b/c he lost it. On the other hand, I don't want to go in his room if he has it. Also, he's used to eating 2-3 times during the night now (which I know I HAVE to stop). But, how do I wean him off the night feedings? Do I try to take one away, all away?? And lastly, how do you deal w/the crying? It breaks my heart to hear him cry. Did you go in and comfort/check on your LO or just leave them be? I'm curious to hear what others have done and any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry if this rambling mess makes no sense!
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Re: Healthy Sleep Habits... and/or sleep help please!!
At about 5.5 months DS was waking up almost every 1-2 hours and I was completely losing it. I called my ped. and he said to start with sleep training. Because DS just ups his ante/screaming when I go in I had to do a hard and fast CIO (not going in at all). I have a video monitor so I just sat and watched him to make sure that everything was okay. The first night he cried for 55 min. and the second night it was 40 min. (when I put him down) and the third night some light fussing and then out. I had a stuffed animal in there for him, so during the time he was crying and fussing he would 'play', 'talk' with it or throw it around, but I think it helped him to have something in there with him.
I also went back and reread the section of the book based on his age after talking to the ped. and allowed myself to feed him 2x per night since I was BF. At his 9 month appt. he is still waking 2x per night (although each time is no longer than 15 min) and the ped said it's up to me if I want to continue with it. She said he is capable of going longer it's just become a habit now. To stop the night feedings I think I would have to do the same thing as what I did when I first put him down. I'm close to saying I'm going to cut back to one feeding per night (esp. since he did it himself the other night).
If this doesn't make sense let me know or if you have other questions feel free to e-mail me dnargerson at hotmail dot com
It is hard and it broke my heart to hear him crying, but it did help him in the long run. We still have occasional moments where he'll wake up and cry, but he does eventually go back to sleep and in shorter time frames than the original CIO.
I can't tell you how many moms I've talked to who agree -- great concepts, and great method, if you can figure out what he's saying. It's just not well written, and it's very poorly organized, which is a real shame. My advice, if he hasn't already, is to get DH to read it, too. It helps a lot to be able to talk it through, especially when you're sleep deprived. Also agree with PP that focusing on the section for your age helps you eliminate a lot of the confusion.
I started with the book at 6 months. I was exclusively nursing, and we had just moved, and on top of that we were transitioning her to her own crib in her own room, rather than a bassinet in our room. She was up every 1.5 hours. Within a week she was sleeping 12 hours a night, straight through, every night. At this point, it sounds like Henry needs quality sleep much more than he needs to nurse. The video monitor was a great way for me to keep from freaking out without undermining the message to DD by further disrupting her. It's hard, but what helped me to get through it was to remind myself that when DD cries b/c I am changing her diaper, I don't give up and let her stay in her poopy diapers and think that giving her snuggles or nursing will work just as well as changing her. I'm her mama; I know what she needs, and I won't deprive her of that just because she doesn't know I'm right, yet. ;-)
Sorry this is so long. Hope it helps, though!
I'm glad someone said this! I picked up a copy a few months ago (sleep, or lack thereof, is something I'm *very* concerned about) and felt the same way. I thought it was just because I didn't have an actual kid yet!
ditto, I couldn't make heads or tails of this book, it drove me crazy. I stopped reading it about halfway through because I was fed up. Then one of my friends recommended Babywise and I have loved it. It just made a lot more sense to me and the plan they suggest is clear cut and easy to follow. Oh yeah, also it's working pretty well so far. That said, my son is an easy baby and he's only 6 weeks old so I don't have a lot of experience so far ;-)
the 2 things I got from this book were: 1. have no more than 2 hrs between naps and 2. earlier bedtime
having said that, DD is a horrible sleeper and napper so I'm not really a big help
I've heard that STTN is a milestone like walking/talking and that nothing you do will expedite its coming....I don't know, I can't stand having her cry; it's not the "annoyed you are changing my diaper while I want to stand" cry that lasts 2 minutes, it's the "someone is cutting me open" scream lasting forever
We started putting multple binkies in the crib with DS. If one ended up on the floor, he would reach around for another and put it in his mouth himself and go back to sleep.
To wean off of night feedings, we gradually diluted the formula (powder for 4 oz., enough water for 6 oz., then powder for 3, water for 6). He didn't wake anymore when we got down to about 2 oz. worth of powder, but pedi said if you made it to all water, gradually decrease that amount. I would do it one feeding at a time so that it is not as much of a shock to him.
If you want to try a different book, I suggest Baby Wise. It worked great for my daughter. She put herself on a schedule at 6 weeks and was sleeping 6 straight hours at night. I started their methods from the beginning, but I think there is guidance in the book for those starting later. I agree with the suggestion for a video monitor - saved me lots of trips to the nursery! GOOD LUCK!
I thought BW was and awful method but loved HSH and thought it was the easier to understand of them all. Got Julia STTN at 4 weeks from 11-7 and down at 8:30 by 12 weeks.
Also got Caroline STTN who was up SEVEN times a night to eat down to 0 times a night in 3 days.
In HSH ALL you have to read to understand it is the first chapter and the chapter on the age of your child skipping the stories. 30m and you got it.
Then again I study Developmental Psych in children so I read these methods with a different eye. I have read the major 8 from STTN, Baby Wise, HSH, No Cry Sleep Solution, Night time Parenting, In Search of Sleep, Sleep Easy, Sleep Solutions and Ferber etc...
Ferber was a Professor of Weissbluth which explaines so much. the other one I love is Sleep: The Brazelton Way. His parenting books are fab too like Touchpoints: Birth to 3.
I found it really helpful to have DH on board and we talked about how miserable it was and how it was for the best for her. It really did work (35 min first night, 25 second, 5 min. third night). I did go in a few times, but it was more for my peace of mind than for hers. She got really upset when I left the room.
We had a regression after vacation and again with teeth, but she's gotten back on track fairly quickly.
My DD went in with the paci but lost it, and now she rarely keeps it for long at night.
Full disclosure: She's a miserable napper (for me, my DH, and my mother--she does great for the babysitter).
Just remember, it's really better for him to sleep through the night than to be up so often.
Thanks for all of the replies! I'm glad to hear that many othes find the layout of the book confusing and disorganized. So many people rave about it, but how did they even get through it?
I received Babywise from a friend and I hated it. I've also read a lot of negative things about it, so that book just was not for me. I also read the No-Cry Sleep Solution, which I may revert to if I wuss out on the CIO
I have a few more Qs for some of you, but I'll start a new post.
For the eating, I would always try the paci and soothing to sleep in the middle of the night (probably started that around 2-3 mo). If it didn't work, then I would feed her. Sometimes it would only work for 30 minutes or an hour but eventually it put her off longer and the night feedings decreased.
We did the extinction CIO method from HSHHC around 8-9mo. We used to rock her to sleep each night and that worked well (she didn't need to be rocked in the middle of the night) but around 8-9mo she swas too alert at bedtime to go to sleep while being rocked. Our only option really was to just put her down awake or deprive her of the sleep she really needed at night (she's always been a crappy napper). She never cried more than 20minutes and after 4 days she didn't cry at all. It really was a lot easier than I thought. The first night I put her down, I sat in the floor until she stopped crying and fell asleep and then I crawled out of the nursery - kind of pathetic but it made me feel better that I was right there.
I don't know if we can help much with the paci - Maggie used it to fall asleep too and we would put the 3 or 4 of them in the crib each night so she could find them, but eventually she would just throw them out of the crib and weaned herself off of them. However she never really screamed for them in the middle of the night very often.
Good luck!