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LoriFalce
member
NBR: Guys Like Porn
LoriFalce
member
Breaking story...News at 11...
Anchor Harry Palmer: In a developing story, researchers have discovered that male human beings enjoy touching their penises, and are often stimulated to do so by observing pictures of naked women, men, Muppets, etc., or sexual activity. We now go to Guy Randy with this...
Guy Randy: I'm here with Dr. Richard Hardastone, one of the scientists bringing us this groundbreaking research.
Dr. Hardastone: Thanks for having me, Guy.
Guy: Don't get ahead of yourself, Dr. Now tell me, what has this research involved?
Dr. Hardastone: Well, we received a grant from the National Institutes of Health, together with a generous donation of reserach materials from Larry Flynt and that guy who's going to jail for the Girls Gone Wild videos. The rest of the team (Dr. Jack Auff, Dr. Peter Small, and Dr. Hugh J. Peck-Orr) and I put a lot of time and effort into the study, even acting as our own test subjects. We found that looking at the images in question was arousing, and made us want to touch ourselves. However, to be honest, we also discoverd that looking at pickles, candy bars, ketchup bottles, dinner rolls, Georgia O'Keef pictures and Etsy jewelry listings also had an arousing impulse and made us want to touch ourselves.
We then tried not to look at the images. However, it was impossible to exclude the every day items. While we attempted to replace the tempting items with pickle relish, Skittles, Salvador Dali paintings, etc., we always seemed to find something sexual that was arousing, leading us to believe this is a phenomenon common to most men.
Guy: But surely there is a cure, correct?
Dr. Hardastone: Well, Peter did die of dehydration before the study was complete. He was cremated, so I'm fairly sure he's no longer touching himself.
Guy: There you have it, Harry. Scientists are saying death is the only cure for masturbation. Back to you.
Harry: Thanks, Guy. And thank you, viewers for joining us tonight. Join us tomorrow when we will talk with someone who is making a mint on late night infomercials with a new invention she's calling "The Wheel."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: Guys Like Porn
It's a tough crowd....
Word on the streets is that some women actually like it too.
::GASP:: women don't get sexually aroused, do they?
I see no Biblical evidence that women get aroused and/or like sex.
The Bible is not a weapon. Don't throw it in my face!
what do you get when you google "Bible as weapon?"
omg!
WWJS - What would Jesus shoot?