Is your mother or MIL staying w/you after the birth?

meg1974 · May 2009

DH wants my MIL to stay with us for a week or so to help us after the birth. She's nice and I have no problems with her, but I just don't know if I will be comfortable sharing such a vulnerable time of my life with her (meaning possibly exposing my boobs if I have problems BFing, crying hysterically, etc.). I am comfortable doing all of that in front of my mom, but she stresses me out so much, I think having her here might be just as bad.

Is anyone planning to have someone come and stay with you?

high_hopes · May 2009

My sister is going to stay with us for a week. Thank goodness....she can help me with BFing, etc. My mom lives 5 minutes away, so I'm sure she'll be over to help as well! Smile

mfransdell · May 2009

For 2 whole weeks! I was able to talk her down fro the month she had planned on. Luckily she wont be coming until the baby is about 2 weeks old, so maybe i will have some time to adjust to mommyhood by then.

voelkels · May 2009

I am lucky enough, that my Mom lives right next door, and we et along great!

~BeesBoo~ · May 2009

By the time that the baby is here, both mother's will live within 5 minutes driving distance from us. So although they will not actually be staying with us, they will be around....A LOT!

Mrs.Veldy · May 2009

I sure hope not! Both stress me out. My SIL lives close so she has offered to come over. We are looking into a Nighttime Nanny for the first two weeks.

christin3580 · May 2009

I couldnt do it with my MIL for a week.. she still wont let me live down a crying session i had a year ago... if the friggin lady wont get over that I cant wait to see what she does with me and a baby.

sdjaquess · May 2009

I'm having my step-mom, mother, and grandma come at different times. Partly because the last 2 live far away. I don't want them all at the same time and they will only being staying a few days. I'm sure I will appreciate any help and opportunity to get any kind of rest while they are willing to stay and help.

rrotem · May 2009

My mom is going to stay with us for a week. ?I want her to - I feel like I am not going to know how to give the baby a bath or anything and she'll have to show me! ?Plus, DH can't take that much time off from work so I want someone else with me. ?

rspahvet · May 2009

My mom is coming for 1-2 weeks. My sister is also pregnant around the same time so thats why the variation in time frame! I think the MIL and FIL may come after that just to see the baby. They live pretty far away.

pillowbling · May 2009

My mom lives 7 hours away, and is going to try to come in time for the birth. She'll be staying with us for a week or so after we come home from the hospital (probably in a hotel while I'm in the hospital). We don't have an extra bedroom, so she'll be in the living room.

I think it will be helpful to have someone cook, do dishes and laundry and be around while DH is at work. Plus, she won't be able to see her first grandchild again for a while (until we are up for a 7 hour roadtrip with baby).

Also, I have RA and it usually flares really bad after delivery (hormone changes and being off meds for 9 months).

browneyes_24b · May 2009

My sister has offered to come and stay right away. I have the same hesitation as you......I don't think I will want anyone in that close of proximity so soon after we bring our LO home. Sure she would help with cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I just think I want the time alone with our new family.

starmickey · May 2009

Both my mom and dad will be visiting the week before I am due, hopefully the baby will come early. Then my mom is going to stay behind when my dad leaves for the rest of the month since she is a teacher and won't have to go back to work until after labor day. Then my dad is coming back for a week at the end of August to see the baby and to pick up my mom. I am not going to mind having my mom around, since unfortunatly DH won't be around much during the day to help out since August is his busiest time of the year with opening his residence hall to the new fall students. She won't be helping me really care for the baby, probably no changing diapers and she won't be sleeping in our place, so it will be just me and DH in the middle of the night, but it will be nice to have her help with cooking, cleaning, and especially laundry.

TiffanyHenning · May 2009

Husbie really wants the first week at home to be just the two of us. But the week after that my mom is taking a week of vacation to hang out with us, I feel honored.

JasonsMauiMama · May 2009

With my first, it was just DH. I'd been BFing DS for 12 days already while he was in the NICU and had the hang of it (pretty much), but I didn't want anyone around giving stress-inducing "advice." Ya, I had a couple rough times those first few weeks, but there was NOTHING anyone could have done to help me. I just needed to give it time.

PurplePeep · May 2009

My MIL has told me that she plans to but I haven't told her yet that no way in hell is it happening. I'm too private and I don't like sharing my space. Plus my mom and aunt both live within 5 minutes so there is no point to her coming.

DH understands my point and respects it.

Mrs.Sky_and_Mr.Luke · May 2009

my dad is deploying around the same time as my babys due so we're going to be living with my mom to help her out. But she told me already she'll only help when I want her to and she knows its important for DH and I to learn on our own. My MIL on the other hand thinks I should drive 6 hours 2 days after I have the baby and live with her because she's had 5 kids and knows everything and can do everything for me.....yeah she also wanted to get pregnant when she found out we were expecting

calex33 · May 2009

We don't have the room for anyone to stay with us but, if we did, I would not want MIL to be here. ?She's extremely judgmental and very old country (Greece). ?However, if we had the space, I would love to have my mom around for a little while!

lilone_06 · May 2009

No, and you sound like me, so I'd recommend you don't either! My mom and dad came out 3 weeks after DD was born, and while it was nice to have her there to help out, I really wish they would have come later. I had trouble BFing and my mom wasn't super supportive of it, so I ended up supplementing with formula, and always struggled with it thereafter. Plus, they wanted to be on the go, and I felt guilty just wanting to stay home in 'survival' mode.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. They're coming again for this baby, but not until 2 months after my due date.

AidensMama22 · May 2009

I have both grandparents about 5 mins away..I am sure they will be there every minute lol

BetsyDavis · May 2009

No no no. I no it won't be easy but I want my space so i can bond with baby and get into the swing of everything without someone telling me what to do and how they did it. It will be just me baby and daddy and that's it.?

water-fairy · May 2009

Ugh, yeah... our families will be flying over from Europe in August. MIL and her husband are staying here for 1 month (mid August to mid Septmeber)... my parents for just 2 weeks because they have to get back to their jobs. I am just making sure they all arrive after the baby is born. I can't deal with all of them AND labor at the same time.

I wouldn't have them staying here so long but they are visiting from far and only see us once a year.?

AliciaSpring · May 2009

My MIL lives not that far from me so no on that one. My mother will come out when the baby is born to help out. My mother will probably stay with us but I am hoping dad comes out for a while too b/c I will go crazy with just my mom I love her but she is very sensitive. Well at least I will be able to get some sleep.

rinny627 · May 2009

My mom is staying with me the first week. DH will be working and my mom is my best friend so it works out nicely that she could be there with/for me.

MrsErinnElizabeth · May 2009

My mom is coming down here for three weeks and then she and my dad will come down for another three weeks when baby is 8-ish weeks old. It's their first grandchild and it's a long-ass trip down here, so they wanted to make it worth their while. I'll be grateful for the help!

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · May 2009

My DH and I have been dealing with the same question. He wants his parents to come stay when the baby is born so they can be there to be a part of it, but I am putting my foot down about it. They can stay in a hotel.

Some people might disagree or think its biitchy, but I think it is a vulnerable time for me, my husband, and our new baby. Our house isn't huge and the guest room is right near the baby's room.

I just really want to enjoy that special time when we first come home. They can come for the 2nd baby someday and take care of the 1st one for me. :-)

burning_television · May 2009

my MIL (who i absolutely love and adore) lives maybe a 10-minute drive away. she'll be around **a lot** after the baby's born. i don't mind being hysterically emotional around her, i've been there before, and i think it'll be somewhat comfortable with her around. she's been really quite supportive throughout my pregnancy so far. (well, why wouldn't she be? it's her first grandchild!)

my own mother, however, lives over an hour away with no car, and really, the only way to get over here on her own would be to take a ridiculous 4-hour public transit trip (i've taken it once before to find out how long it would take to go from North Vancouver [my parent's place] to Abbotsford [our place]), or take the train on it's absolutely ridiculous schedule that makes no sense. we'll be driving around a lot after the baby comes. :-)

borc0080 · May 2009

Heck no! First of all, we don't have extra room (other than on the couch). Second, I'm a fairly private person and though I get along great with mom and MIL, I'd rather they just visited occasionally ... and called first! Since baby is the first grandchild on both side, I imagine we'll be getting plenty of visits. As long as they're not overnights, that's fine by me.

arob2009 · May 2009

We are lucky because both sets of 'rents live within a mile of us. & We have a 1 bedroom house. We are remodeling to add a baby room. But, that still won't leave room for house guests. Just far enough for when we need them!

chrystaleigh · May 2009

My MIL is planning on coming down but we have limited her to staying with us for only about 4 days, she'll come down a few months later and stay a little longer.

2bulldogmom · May 2009

My mom said that she would just come over during the daytime to help clean, cook, run errands, etc. She will go home at night, though. She also told me that if my husband and I find that she is around too much or we don't need her help anymore, that we could just tell her that it was time for her to go home and she will not take it personally.

smilelari · May 2009

There won't be enough room for a bunch of people to stay with us. If they want to come, fine, but they'll be in a hotel

Pam081206 · May 2009

I know my MIL would love to, and if asked she would, but I'm hoping it will be a few weeks before she comes for a short visit. In the beginning I want it to be just me and DH. He needs to know what it takes to take care of an infant right away - if someone else is there, he'll be off the hook. And I don't want other people in the house - a couple of hour visit (which is what my mom will do) is one thing, but MIL is a 7 hour drive away and she'd have to stay with us - DH wouldn't hear of asking his family to stay in a hotel - and I know I'm not going to be up for it.

blushingbrideoct07 · May 2009

We live out of state from our family and my mom offered to stay with us for a couple of weeks. ?I am grateful for any help that I can get. ?I know that she will not only help with the baby but she is amazing and will help around the house and in the kitchen. ?

I LUBBINS YOU! · May 2009

I pray to God that no one will decide to come stay with us. Anyone can come over, but I want to be able to say buh bye at the end of the day.

sandollar · May 2009

No. I wish they could, but they are too far away, too busy (not in a bad way, they just have careers they can't leave) and we have no room.

llggx2 · May 2009

Both mom and MIL live with in 10 min, however, you could not pay me to have my MIL in my house for more than 10 min. I envy you for getting along with your MIL but seriously I can see why that would be uncomfortable, even in the best of circumstances. Good luck! I would tell DH that you want some time alone with him and the baby before family stays over.

Dancer6978 · May 2009

Yes. ?My husband will be deployed for the birth, so my mom's going to fly out a couple weeks beforehand and also be in the hospital with me.

teeah22 · May 2009

My mom is coming down for 3 weeks. She lives in Michigan so she usually comes for 7-10 days anyway once a year. DH is probably only taking a week off so I'm glad she'll be here. The idea of bringing an infant home and thinking "now what?" is kind of terrifying to me so I'm glad she'll be here. Now I just have to decide if I want her in the delivery room too, provided she's here then... that one I'm not sure about.

Not sure if/when MIL is going to visit. She's welcome though. Her and my mom are two of the most laid-back ladies ever.

Lauren Petron · May 2009

I don't know yet what my mom is planning to do. ?She lives in Atlanta, and we're just outside D.C., so she might not be able to arrange travel to be here right when the baby is born.

MIL is in Pittsburgh, just a 4-5 hour drive away, and she's already telling me that she and FIL are getting in the car to head down as soon as they hear I'm in labor. ?I do NOT want them staying here right after the baby is born. ?But my husband's brother and SIL live a couple of miles away from us, so I suppose they can stay there. ?I'd much rather have some time with just the baby, my husband, and me, but I'm not sure how to tell my MIL that. ?This is the first grandchild, so she's insanely excited.?

JCapp8306 · May 2009

I know for sure my mom is going to try to fly in time for the birth, I want her in the birthing room with DH and I, and she plans on staying at least two weeks after the birthing to help clean, cook, help me bf and anything else DH and I need.

On that note, I know DH wants his mom to come up as well. ?I don't know how long or even when she plans to come. ?I really don't mind. ?I'm not ashamed of bfing in front of people, but now that you mention crying hysterically, I don't think I would want to do that in front of her. ?

Maybe that's why my brother told my mom not to show up to help out after his first born, her first grandchild, was born.

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