Surprised reaction from boss!?!

epetrunti@yahoo.com · May 2009

So I sat with my boss the other day to discuss maternity leave. We are a very small office with 4 other employee's (not including the boss). So we don't really have a maternity leave policy and the state we live in doesn't have requirements for businesses under 10 employee's. He's always said to let him know what I'll need and he'll try to accomodate it (unpaid). So he asked me if I had any idea. I told him I'd probably like to take 6-8 weeks if possible. I'm due in September and I'm 21 weeks today. He was completely shocked I said 6-8 weeks and said he's never had an employee take that much time off. He said the other employee he had had 3 children and everytime she didn't take more than 3 weeks off.

Is this normal to only take 3 weeks off? It seems soooo short. Am I overreacting to his reaction? I didn't really know what to say so I just said ok, I'll talk with my DH and get back to him.

How long are you taking?

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2009

3 weeks?!?!?!?!?! I'm shocked! I guess you could always let him what the law would be IF your company had over 10 employees - you know, give him a reality check.

Good luck!

browneyes_24b · May 2009

Ugh. That is ridiculous. I'm taking 12 weeks. You are NOT uncalled for by asking for 6-8.

NOVAMommy5 · May 2009

I've personally never heard of anyone taking less than 6 weeks off! I guess if they just can't afford more than 3 weeks, you do what you have to do... but, wow. I don't think you're off base there at all. 6 weeks is the minimum that most companies give you off, so you may want to bring that up. I wouldn't let it pressure you into taking less time off than you need, either.

chelsearenee · May 2009

6-8 weeks is totally normal. Thats what disability pays for larger companies in Massachusetts. Im taking 12 weeks, which is the maximum covered under the Family Leave Act (I think this is also for larger companies). I think 3 weeks is super short!

Maybe you can do some work from home for a few weeks to help keep things going?

BlissInTexas · May 2009

I'll be a SAHM, but I never thought I'd have to take less than 6 weeks off if I was working.

Chief_Carters_Lady · May 2009

Depends on how the baby is delivered. 8 weeks if C section, 6 weeks vag.

Good luck with your boss!

Jules G · May 2009

I was under the impression that you don't get the clearance from your Dr. to return to work until 6 weeks after a vaginal birth & 8 weeks after a c-section. Either your boss is crazy or the lady who only took 3 weeks is crazy! I am not returning to work after LO is born, but when I thought that I might, I was taking the FMLA which is 12 weeks off.

k_leigh_d · May 2009

The only person I've EVER known to go back that quickly was my cousin. She is a doctor with her own practice .... hence the need to ruch back to work. TRUST ME, you are going to want AT LEAST 8 weeks. No kidding. Even after that, you won't be ready to go back. I'd tell him 8 weeks though and if you feel like going back earlier then I'm sure it won't be a problem. Can I ask what you do?

BeeLove · May 2009

Um...I think you need to just SHOW him what the doctor advises and other maternity leave options that businesses offer...despite that he does not offer something set in stone, I would get whatever you decide on IN WRITING. And, I woudl just come prepared and let him know that despite what others have done, it is recommended (show proof) that you need 8 weeks.

I am taking 10-12, but I work on my own schedule. It's important to me to get at least 10 weeks and then ease back in. Good luck.

beckys96 · May 2009

I think it usually 6 weeks recovery. I know a girl that works here had a baby last year and only wanted to take 3 weeks off. She had to get a special note from the dr to come back early. I really can't imagine coming back at 3 weeks, I had a c-section so there is NO WAY. I think your boss needs to get with it.

mrsmel · May 2009

3 weeks is way short. day cares won't even take babies until they are 6 weeks.

i'm taking 12 and would take more if i could finagle it out of work.

sgrl · May 2009

Three weeks sounds ABSURD to me. I'm planning on taking 12 and I don't feel bad at all about that.

beccabrad · May 2009

6wks min. is normal IF your company had paid leave. Considering it's unpaid leave I'd be taking as much time as you can afford (definately 6wks minimum) Please don't settle for the 3wks!! that's just crazy.

jenna0627 · May 2009

Chief_Carters_Lady:

Depends on how the baby is delivered. 8 weeks if C section, 6 weeks vag.

Good luck with your boss!

Same policy here. I also can't afford to be on just short term disability, so I am planning on using as much sick and vacacation time as I can. Probably about 7 to 8 weeks.

epetrunti@yahoo.com · May 2009

I work in a small insurance brokerage firm. Super boring and I have an hour commute each way so at this point I think I might just look for another job once the baby comes. DH already thinks my boss is a douche so we'll see! Thanks for the advice, I didn't think I was being unreasonable which is why I was so put back by his reaction. Didn't expect that one!

yale · May 2009

Standard around here is 12 weeks. I think minimum is 6. I think he's nuts to expect 3.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · May 2009

I think 3 weeks is way too short. Your body needs time to recover. As it is, TDI (Temporary Disability Insurance) pays 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery and 8 weeks for a C-section.

I would be surprised if your Dr. would even approve of such a short leave. And, that's just for a vaginal delivery. What if you end up with a C-section?

I think your boss needs to get a dose of reality.

I am taking 13 weeks (6 or 8 paid by TDI, the rest unpaid)

brinkly · May 2009

Maybe the other employee only took 3 weeks because it is unpaid and she couldn't afford to take off more?

Just tell him that (most) daycares won't take infants before 6 weeks so there is no way that it could be any shorter than that.

Good luck!

AutumnBride929 · May 2009

Three weeks off for maternity leave just doesn't seem safe. Does this guy have kids? lol What an asshat.

deb2126 · May 2009

Most day cares won't even take a baby under 6 weeks old. I can't believe he expects you to only take 3 weeks! I'm not returning after the baby, but if I were I would be taking 8 weeks off.

sgrl · May 2009

epetrunti@yahoo.com:
I work in a small insurance brokerage firm. Super boring and I have an hour commute each way so at this point I think I might just look for another job once the baby comes. DH already thinks my boss is a douche so we'll see! Thanks for the advice, I didn't think I was being unreasonable which is why I was so put back by his reaction. Didn't expect that one!

ITA with your husband! What is it with small insurance companies? My best friend works at one and her boss is a NIGHTMARE, that actually sounds exactly like something he'd do! I also want to know if this d-bag has kids.

localbs05 · May 2009

Don't forget that if you have any tearing (which is very common) and require stitch or few, it is considered unsafe to drive anywhere far for the first few weeks.

AutumnBride929 · May 2009

deb2126:

Most day cares won't even take a baby under 6 weeks old.

Yes, I was going to mention this, too. There's no way I could take less than six for that reason. I'm taking ten though (most of it unpaid). Anyone who may have had a problem with it could kiss my ass. I also work for a small company with around 10 employees and I'm the only one who does my job here but I don't care, lol.

epetrunti@yahoo.com · May 2009

Surprisingly he does have 2 boys! I feel bad for what his ex-wife must have gone through!

merjmm · May 2009

3 weeks?!? I couldn't imagine only taking 3 weeks.

My company gives 12 weeks 100% paid and I am rolling 1 weeks vacation into that so I will be taking a total of 13 weeks.

sgrl · May 2009

Why am I not surprised that she is an EX-wife? haha. I bet she was glad to be rid of him!

ENev · May 2009

That's absolutely insane. I'm really sorry.

Most daycare centers or in-home providers won't even take a baby before 6 weeks old. What are you going to do with a 3-week-old baby when you go to work?!

I'd insist he give you at least six weeks or I'd start looking for another job while you're off for your three lousy weeks.

MrsMMHill · May 2009

I think since he has less than 10 employees, he's not required to give you the Family Medical Leave Act of taking up to 12 weeks, but you are still under a doctor's care at 6 weeks pp. That's a given. He should know that.

mommymeg914 · May 2009

You are not overreacting. I have never heard of less than 6 weeks. Him offering 3 weeks is ridiculous. I will not be working after the baby is born, but I will be taking 2 classes that start about 4 weeks after EDD. Luckily they are at a time when DH will be at home.

MrsJY · May 2009

I still can't believe how short maternity leave is in the states! It blows my mind; I get 12 months paid leave (6 at 90% of my salary, 6 at 55%).

Evelynsmom · May 2009

12 wks is the norm here. What if you have to have a c-section? Would you even be able to come back in 3 wks? Seriously I don't really know the answer on that one.

sgrl · May 2009

MrsJY:
I still can't believe how short maternity leave is in the states! It blows my mind; I get 12 months paid leave (6 at 90% of my salary, 6 at 55%).

Sad I'm so insanely jealous of you guys, it's not even funny!

msnelson_32 · May 2009

I'm shocked at his reaction as well.. Does he have a wife and kids?? Of course me being from Canada we get 52 weeks paid so even when I hear everyone saying they only have 6 weeks is shocking and so unfair ..I wish you all the best and i say stick to your original plan .. those weeks are precious

smurfetteinred · May 2009

It's all been said but I'll throw my 2 cents in as well. I had a vaginal birth and I could not have gone back to work at 3 weeks. No way. My son was huge and while I only had minimal tearing it just wouldn't have been possible. I could get around just fine but the bathroom was a different situation. Pooping was an experience and I still had to use the peri bottle even for peeing until at least 4 weeks. I really wouldn't want to have anything to do with that while at work! If you have a c-section there's a good chance you'll still have trouble getting around. Plus I'm pretty sure I was told by my doc that I couldn't drive for 4 weeks after delivery (I'm pretty sure I stopped listening to this at 2 when I felt fine but still).

And like other women have said - you'll be really hard pressed to find a daycare that will accept a 3 week old. While there may not be a policy in place and I'm guessing your leave is unpaid, I'm pretty sure that all births fall under FMLA and the company still has to give you 6-8 weeks unpaid leave. I could be talking out of my @ss but I'd look into that.

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