Have you been asked to bring a dish when invited to dinner?

Rebekah1021 · May 2009

We are invited to go to a friends house for dinner on Friday. When she called and invited us for dinner, she asked if I could bring refried beans and a salad. Um okay. When I invite people over for dinner, I always prepare everything and if they offer to bring something then I tell them they can bring dessert, but always have a back-up handy. I also provide the booze too.

It's not a huge group of people to have a potluck dinner either. I guess I could have told her no, but I really hate the idea of having to cook half her dinner.

Jodi&Joe · May 2009

NEVER!

I always ask. My friends always ask.

The answer is always the same --- "You don't need to bring anything. We have plenty!"

I will say that our best friends have brought salad on occasion --- but that's usually when we are serving lobster/baked stuffed shrimp and they want to contribute in some way.

CleoKitty · May 2009

Yeah, that's pretty common in my group of friends and family. Generally when we're invited somewhere I always ask, "What can I bring?" Usually I'm asked to bring a salad, or a desert, or a 6-pack of beer, etc. Keep in mind that these are always very informal get-togethers, not formal dinner parties by any stretch of the imagination.

Temp86398625009737 · May 2009

I have always asked, and they would say you don have to, or bring wat ever and I would choose something...I have never been told, or told anyone specifically what to bring..wierd

Addicted2thenot · May 2009

We used to have a group of people where we rotated houses & we got to the point where we would all do that

But we usually had people bring easy things to buy like buns, desserts, beer,?

Never made one family bring two dishes

Rebekah1021 · May 2009

I will add that when we are invited, I always offer to bring something, but this bugged me that she asked me to bring something.

EliseB0323 · May 2009

I always tell people to bring lobsters, filet mignon, and some good wine. Wink

Jaylea · May 2009

I don't see what's upsetting about this. I wouldn't think twice if asked to bring something. They're providing the main course, setting and clean-up right? And it's supposed to be a fun time with friends?

jessicaclare · May 2009

I always offer, and my friends do to. If its really informal, or a cookout, its really uncommon for the hostess to say not to bring something. In fact, my MIL and SIL never let me bring anything and it sort of offends me, but that's because they let other people bring stuff. I'm also the best cook in the family, according to pretty much everyone else, which is why it bugs me.

grja · May 2009

I would never ask people to bring anything. When people ask, i usually just let them know what we're having, and what we're drinking in case they don't like it. then they can bring something to drink that they do like.

I have some friends/family who always insist on bringing somthing. They typically say 'well how about i bring this' and i just say ok.

kylara111 · May 2009

We were asked once and we did. I would never ask someone to do that though, but I guess that's how some people do parties/dinners. How do you even decline? Then it makes it look like you're the rude one. KWIM?

SLPgirl · May 2009

If it was a small group I would cook everything but when we have bigger get togethers the host makes the main course and everyone else brigns sides/ desserts. It's how everyone in our neighborhood throws parties so I don't think it's werid. We have LOTS of thos kinds of parties.

GreenEggs&Ham · May 2009

Every woman's magazine lately has a list of how to beat the recession and I have read numerous times something like this: "Instead of going out to dinner with friends, host a dinner at home and have each guest bring a dish"

maybe your friend was just trying out that advice. kinda not a big deal imo

I am at the point with my extended inlaw family where we dont do the 'what can i bring, dont worry about brining anything, but i really want to, ok bring a salad, dance anymore. We just tell each other what we need. Each 'house' has a few signature dishes and are usually asked to bring them. So- my MIL will call and say "so and so's b-day is at Sunday at 4, can you bring your awesome guac?'

AZ_Erica · May 2009

I have never been asked by the hostess, nor have I asked anyone unless we were planning for it to be a potluck. I will most of the time offer to bring dessert though. I wouldn't be offended though. I love to cook so I pretty much would always love to bring something. But she asked you to bring refried beans? Aren't those just in a can for a buck? Does she expect you to actually make them?

rach&jay · May 2009

The only time people don't bring anything to our parties is if we are having a birthday / baptism. All other dinners when we get together are sort of pot-luck. Dinner with friends, the host provides dinner, and guests bring desserts. Our New Year's Eve parties, everyone brings apps.

We are having a Memorial Day picnic, and everyone will bring a dish. While it isn't mandatory, its just how we do things around here. We'll provide the meat/buns/condiments and alcohol.

While I understand that it seems funny to assign things. Perhaps it just saves time, since you would have offered anyway.

AngelaSue · May 2009

Amongst our group of friends if we get together for dinner, we always offer to bring something. Usually whoever hosts provides the main dish and potato, etc. And we'll bring a salad or dessert.

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