The first day of daycare

fiasco · May 2009

Was a total bust! I hate it so much! One of the teachers asked me to write down his routine so they can comply with my wishes. After getting over the anger that they didn't take the time to read the millions of pages worth of info they made me fill out, I decided I'd take her up on it. DH thinks I shouldn't come across as so much more difficult than the other Moms but I don't really care what they think of me, I just think for the fortune they're charging me, I want them to do what I want. So I drafted this sign to hang on his cubby and crib. Besides that I'm a control freak, WDYT?

No rocking to sleep

No swing

No bouncy seat

Bottle at 11am & 3pm. No other time! (anywhere from 5-9 oz) *If he poops during the bottle, he usually won't continue eating till changed.

Nap no less than 40 mins aafter he's been awake for a 2-3 hour stretch.

Ben likes when people talk, sing and read to him. He also enjoys playing on the floor and activity mat, the bumbo, exersaucer and looking out the windows.

purplepuggles · May 2009

that sounds fair, but you might want to give them ideas of what they CAN do or how he usually goes to sleep so that they don't feel overwhelmed by all the DO NOTs and they have a go-to list of the DOs instead. otherwise it kind of seems controlling, rather than helpful.

the nap part is confusing to me...you want him to take a nap FOR 40 minutes, or at the 2 hr 40 min - 3 hr 40 min mark? i wasn't sure what you meant there.

also, a "Please do NOT rock to sleep, use the swing or the bouncy seat for Ben" might be more persuasive. just my 2 cents as a daycare teacher.

KKM · May 2009

As someone who has worked at daycare centers, and now currently has her son in daycare I have to say...lighten up a bit. I am sure they will do everything they can to stick to your schedule, but you have to be a little flexible. Just try to go with it a little bit ( I am not saying to let him have whatever schedule he/they want) but you may be surprised at how well it works out.

MrsSoapbox · May 2009

I get that you want your daycare to follow the routine that works for you at home, but I'd also suggest you be a little more flexible and positive about the whole thing. Ditto PP's on framing things as what you would like your DCP to do instead of what you don't want them to do.

Maybe my baby is different than yours, but she simply will not follow the same routine at daycare that she does at home. At daycare she takes two naps--a short nap in the morning and a longer nap in the afternoon. At home, she'll take at least one extra nap a day (sometimes two) and her afternoon nap is always shorter.

Your post just leaves my wondering why everything is so rigid. Does your LO react negatively to slight changes in his schedule? Is there no chance that he'll ever be hungry at a time other than 11 or 3?

wrldtrvlr003 · May 2009

I have to agree with the pp. You really need to keep an open mind about this and be flexible. When you LO is at home, it is quiet, it is his crib and all of his stuff. When he is at daycare, things are totally different. The teachers will do thier best to follow your wishes of your "Don'ts" but really, they have to follow your baby. If your baby doesn't want to sleep for 45 min and wakes up in 30 minutes, they will take care of him. Just give them some slack.

When I had DD in daycare, she is such a nosey baby that I was lucky if she got one nap. She always had to be in the middle of all the other babies playing and having a great time. When I went to pick her up, she was happy playing with all of her friends and the teachers. Granted, when she got home she was exhausted but being flexible made this whole daycare thing a lot easier for me to handle.

Good Luck.

WifeofaMarine · May 2009

I agree with PP. I understand you wanting to maintain some type of a routine, but as a former daycare teacher, it really is important to be flexible. What if he wakes up after sleeping for only 20 minutes and doesn't want to sleep longer? Isn't it possible he'll ever want a bottle any time other than 11 and 3? I mean, DS normally does take a bottle around the same times every day because that's kinda the routine he's set for himself, its not set, he eats whenever he is hungry. If they aren't supposed to rock him to sleep or use the swing, I'd suggest letting them know how he gets to sleep. Do you just put him down and he goes right to sleep? As PP said, I'd give them more of what they CAN do. Especially in a daycare center, there are typically a lot of other kids (I know our state is 8 kids to 2 teachers in the infant room and most either just stay at that ration or ignore it and have more kids) as well, so flexibility is really important. Also, like people have said, his daycare routine may be different than his home routine, I know that's true for my DS. Routine is important, but sometimes its more go with the flow. GL

shannm · May 2009

I agree with the PPs. I know that with the kind of money we are dropping you want them to do everything exactly the way that you have been doing it. But it just isn't going to happen. You will probably have to ease up for a few issues. Our DS is much better about going down for naps at DC but once he is down, sometimes in the morning he only sleeps for 20 minutes. What are they supposed to do then? Leave him cry? If you are not letting them rock him to sleep, then what? How do you force over 40 minutes? These people have a very tough job and ours do an Awesome job at keeping a schedule for him that we have learned to take advantage of. As for the no bouncy - why? When DS was learning how to give himself his bottles, they used the bouncy to keep his head elevated. He still can't do it sitting up so I think they just prop him up like I do at home for his afternoon bottle.

If you are going to a center with many families, what makes you so different from everyone else? Why do you need a sign and they don't? I would just lighten up a little bit because you are trying to establish a good relationship with the teachers. Just see how it goes if you talk about some of these issues first, then let it go for a week. It probably won't seem that bad anymore. Hang in there!

Amya · May 2009

I thnk you're starting out on the wrong foot. The ton coming across as very negative. Usually the paperwork is the office and the teacher may not have access to it. It's not her fault, it's the center's. The teacher is trying to ensure a pleasant beginning for your child.

Reword your sign. Use positive phrasing....DC usually sleeps for at least 40 minutes. DC takes bottle at 11am & 3pm etc.

BTW, just curious...why no swing or bouncy? I've never heard of that before.

fiasco · May 2009

I appreciate the advice though it's not what I wanted to hear. My son is sleep trained but will cry himself to sleep for every nap. He goes to bed at night w/out a peep. One of the teachers told me they'd work with that and roll his crib away from the other kids so he wouldn't wake them if he was crying. I was under the impression that they'd continue to help try and extend his naps so they're a little longer. Instead, they are depriving him of his much needed sleep And yes, if he wakes in 20 mins they are supposed to let him cry. He falls back to sleep. I took a full six months off to get him into a routine. I brought him in Friday and they acted like they'd nevver seen his paperwork and did whatever the hell they wanted. I went in with a very positive attitude but now I am livid w/ them! I'll try to soften the language. It was so much work to get him on only 4 bottles a day at 4 months, there is no way I want that undone by DC. For the poster who asked, I mean he generally needs a nap after he's been awake for 2-3 hours, and that nap should last at least 40 mins. What's a better way to word that to avoid confusion? No swing or bouncer because he is way too old and it's not stimulating at all. If they can't do these things, then DC is not a good fit for my family.

WifeofaMarine · May 2009

Honestly, I don't know if a DC would be able to work with that strict of a routine, speaking from a former daycare teacher perspective, if there's no room for flexibility. I know that's not what you want to hear, but just my former daycare teacher hat.

fiasco · May 2009

Please don't rock to sleep. Ben knows how to soothe himself.

Ben likes when people talk, sing and read to him. He also enjoys playing on the floor and activity mat, the bumbo, exersaucer and looking out the windows.

Bottle at 11am & 3pm. No other time! (anywhere from 5-9 oz) *If he poops during the bottle, he usually won't continue eating till changed

If he naps less than 40 mins, please see if he will fall back to sleep on his own.

He should have a nap whenever he's been awake for a 2-3 stretch.

ABMcKinney · May 2009

Wow. After reading that I think you're lucky the daycare didn't deny your child entry in to the center! Maybe I'm just a completely different type of mother, but we don't worry about a schedule- especially one so rigid! The wording was horrible, and I know that at our center the kids are not allowed to cry in the crib for more than 3 minutes before someone HAS to pick them up. It's possible that your child crying could be stopping the other kids from getting the sleep that THEY need. It sounds like a daycare center isn't something that would work for your family at all. Maybe you need a nanny or an in home daycare that would be able to exclusively cater to your childs demanding and strict schedule.

ABMcKinney · May 2009

I'd also like to say that from your post, it came across that as a parent your desire for a schedule is more important than what is actually best for your child. For example, saying that it was so much work to get him to 4 bottles a day.... my 11 month old still gets that! I can't imagine forcing him to do that at only 6 months. And taking 6 months off of work to get him on a schedule? I imagine that if I had taken 6 months off it would simply be to enjoy the first few months of my childs life. Also, my kid sometimes only takes 20 minute naps. Is it by any chance possible that a baby can sometimes wake up JUST BECAUSE THEY AREN'T TIRED ANYMORE?

WannaBMommy81 · May 2009

I agree with lightening up. Also why did you work so hard to get him on 4 bottles? What is the big deal about being on more bottles a day. A 4 month should be fed whenever they are hungry.

hudsaunt1 · May 2009

Wow!! I hate to say this, but you sound like you have some major control issues. My DD has a completely different routine when she is at DC verse at home. At DC, she will take one nap, and actually go down while she is awake. At home, she will take cat naps during the day and will not lay down in her crib awake for anything. Honestly, if you are this controlling about his schedule 24-7, don't bring him to daycare and just stay home with him, because that is the only way you are going to guarantee that he will be on the schedule that you have "trained" him to be on. RELAX!!!

wrldtrvlr003 · May 2009

I love how you mention that you spent 4 months getting him on this schedule. That is just it...it is your schedule at your house. Daycare is not your house so you really need to let go of some your control and understand that if you take your child to daycare things can not be exactly like you want them to be.

It sounds to me like you have your mind made up about you DC and no advice we give, even though all of us have experience with this, is going to help you one bit. As you said, we told you what you didn't want to here.

diceK2007 · May 2009

You should get a nanny. I think your schedule will be hard to follow in a center with other kids. My DS naps for three hours in the afternoon when I have him home but only 1.5 hours at daycare. There is so much activity that he'd rather be up. It doesn't bother him at all. I went into daycare with a schedule. Despite my DC providers best efforts he's just different at daycare...it's like he doesn't want to miss a thing : ) I'm not saying throw out the schedule completely just be a bit more flexible & realistic. You'll both be less stressed. If not I think a nanny in your home would be a better fit.

fiasco · May 2009

ok, so I'm looking into the logistics of getting a nanny. Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development. Not for my own benefit. I would much rather him stay up and play with me, especially at the end of the day when DH and I have both been at work all day, but his early bedtime is more important than my wants. He has STTN since 6 weeks so I'm doing something right. I am a HSHHC proponent and believe that most parents have sleep deprived babies and are just misinformed. I would think a sleeping child is an easy child and the DC would love him and his routine.

LucyPevensie · May 2009

No one - not even a nanny - and especially not a DC center - is ever going to do things exactly the way you do them. No one. My mom watches my son while I work and I have had to let go of control on some things and my mom does WHATEVER I ask and is a total sweetheart. But sometimes she forgets something or just needs to do something differently because that's what needs to happen at that moment and I'm not there. When you're a working mom - someone else is taking care of your child for those hours. It's difficult. I hate it. Could some of your anger at the DC not doing things "your way" be about that fact that you have headed back to work and so no longer are the sole person in charge of your son's care?

My son's not on a rigid schedule - he's on a loose schedule but other than that we go with the flow because it works for us. It's tough to be a working mom though. Because no one will do it exactly your way (care for your child) and it's also hard to be away - at least it is for me. Very hard.

diceK2007 · May 2009

I think a nanny can come closest to keeping this type of schedule. If you feel strongly about the schedule than stick to your guns but like pp said no one will ever do it like you. Still I think you can get closer to the type of care you want from an in home nanny. GL!

mom2be:)2008 · May 2009

fiasco:
ok, so I'm looking into the logistics of getting a nanny. Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development. Not for my own benefit. I would much rather him stay up and play with me, especially at the end of the day when DH and I have both been at work all day, but his early bedtime is more important than my wants. He has STTN since 6 weeks so I'm doing something right. I am a HSHHC proponent and believe that most parents have sleep deprived babies and are just misinformed. I would think a sleeping child is an easy child and the DC would love him and his routine.

For the record-my dd also sttn by 6 weeks and she wasn't on a bit of a routine or schedule. I agree with all of the pp's, your schedule is very strict and I think that a daycare center would probably quit you long before you quit them. Most centers have standards they have to stick to, by law, and they probably can't let a child just lie in their crib and scream. If the other parents came in to check on/pick up their kids and heard a child just screaming and nobody tending to him/her, they'd probably be very upset by that.

Also- most babies prefer to be read to/sang to/played with, I think that's a given, and I think it's kind of silly for you to put it down on paper. I would hope that your center has enough experience with kids to know what kids in general like to do all day.

I also think it's rude and ignorant to say that most parents have sleep deprived babies and misinformed, it must be quite stressful having the weight on your shoulders of being the only parent in the ENTIRE WORLD who knows how to be a good mother and give their child enough sleep.

Honestly, it sounds like you just don't want your schedule messed up too much, limiting dc's bottles and forcing dc to lie upset and screaming in their crib even when they are not tired any more sounds pretty awful to me.

I think you should consider a nanny, and be prepared to pay well, because with your list of demands they are gonna need some major motivation to stick around.

mom2be:)2008 · May 2009

Also, my dd is 10 months old and still sleeps in her bouncy seat for every single nap. *GASP* I must be a terrible mother.

my*heart*is*his · May 2009

fiasco:
ok, so I'm looking into the logistics of getting a nanny. Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development. Not for my own benefit. I would much rather him stay up and play with me, especially at the end of the day when DH and I have both been at work all day, but his early bedtime is more important than my wants. He has STTN since 6 weeks so I'm doing something right. I am a HSHHC proponent and believe that most parents have sleep deprived babies and are just misinformed. I would think a sleeping child is an easy child and the DC would love him and his routine.

vanillacourage · May 2009

fiasco:
Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development.

You sound like a huge pain in the ass. Lighten up. Our daycare is not allowed to let babies just cry in their cribs without going to comfort them - it's considered neglect. Plus it wakes up the other babies who are trying to get the sleep you consider so sacred.

Babies that are 4 months old are supposed to be getting between 24 and 35 ounces of formula/day. You say he's allowed to take between 5-9 oz. Well, if he took the max of 9 oz each bottle, he's getting 36 oz. But on the minimum side of 5 oz, he's only getting 20. So your hugely rigid schedule could actually be depriving your child of the calories and nutrients he needs. And if he's only 'allowed' two bottles at daycare, 10-18 oz total, maybe that's why he's crying so much - he's HUNGRY.

Seriously, put down the "child development" bibles and be a better parent.

my*heart*is*his · May 2009

fiasco:
ok, so I'm looking into the logistics of getting a nanny. Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development. Not for my own benefit. I would much rather him stay up and play with me, especially at the end of the day when DH and I have both been at work all day, but his early bedtime is more important than my wants. He has STTN since 6 weeks so I'm doing something right. I am a HSHHC proponent and believe that most parents have sleep deprived babies and are just misinformed. I would think a sleeping child is an easy child and the DC would love him and his routine.

I just have to ask: what did your pedi think of you 'feed training' your child so early? And of letting him CIO so early (b/c CIO is what you were doing if you let him cry himself back to sleep for naps)? Just because he has STTN since 6 weeks doesn't mean it was YOUR doing - lots of babies decide to start STTN and they are fed more than four times a day and even (gasp!) go to bed at different times.

I find your tone insulting and imagine your DCP will also. My child ate whenever she was hungry and slept whenever she was tired, and today she is a toddler with a larger vocabulary than most her age, she sleeps through the night, puts herself to sleep at night w/o crying, and she eats with us at regular meal times. So, apparently, if I'm going by your criteria, I did everything wrong, yet my child is perfectly happy, well adjusted and NOT sleep deprived. See where I have a problem with this?

fiasco · May 2009

vanillacourage:
fiasco:
Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development.

You sound like a huge pain in the ass. Lighten up. Our daycare is not allowed to let babies just cry in their cribs without going to comfort them - it's considered neglect. Plus it wakes up the other babies who are trying to get the sleep you consider so sacred.

Babies that are 4 months old are supposed to be getting between 24 and 35 ounces of formula/day. You say he's allowed to take between 5-9 oz. Well, if he took the max of 9 oz each bottle, he's getting 36 oz. But on the minimum side of 5 oz, he's only getting 20. So your hugely rigid schedule could actually be depriving your child of the calories and nutrients he needs. And if he's only 'allowed' two bottles at daycare, 10-18 oz total, maybe that's why he's crying so much - he's HUNGRY.

Seriously, put down the "child development" bibles and be a better parent.

I may be a PITA but you have no clue what you're talking about. My son is 6 months and weighs 23 lbs. He was born at 10 lbs 6 oz but still, is way off the weight charts. I say 5-9 oz because I don't want them giving him 4oz and then another 4.5 an hour and a half later like they did on Friday. We stopped mixing 10 oz bottles (which come out to 11) because the pediatrician told us to. We also give him only 4 bottles a day because he used to take like an hour and a half to eat a bottle, so many nurses and pediatricians in the practice told us to cut him off at 30 minutes. That was months ago and based on their advice, the issue has been resolved.

vanillacourage · May 2009

fiasco:

We also give him only 4 bottles a day because he used to take like an hour and a half to eat a bottle, so many nurses and pediatricians in the practice told us to cut him off at 30 minutes. That was months ago and based on their advice, the issue has been resolved.

So you stop him from eating when he clearly wants to eat more, and you don't replace that formula at other meal times or with solids? If he's off the growth chart, that means he needs MORE calories than other babies his age, not less. Seriously, WTF are you (and your pedi, apparently.....) smoking?!

I feel so bad for your poor baby. I'm off to cuddle mine even though it's not part of the schedule today that I've planned since the day he was born. wtf.

jenifairies · May 2009

vanillacourage:
fiasco:
Just for the record, I put Ben on an eating schedule and am strict about naps because of all the reading and research I have done about child development.

You sound like a huge pain in the ass. Lighten up. Our daycare is not allowed to let babies just cry in their cribs without going to comfort them - it's considered neglect. Plus it wakes up the other babies who are trying to get the sleep you consider so sacred.

Babies that are 4 months old are supposed to be getting between 24 and 35 ounces of formula/day. You say he's allowed to take between 5-9 oz. Well, if he took the max of 9 oz each bottle, he's getting 36 oz. But on the minimum side of 5 oz, he's only getting 20. So your hugely rigid schedule could actually be depriving your child of the calories and nutrients he needs. And if he's only 'allowed' two bottles at daycare, 10-18 oz total, maybe that's why he's crying so much - he's HUNGRY.

Seriously, put down the "child development" bibles and be a better parent.

ditto.

You are a whackjob.

arobertson25 · May 2009

when I first read this post I was like holy cow control freak. Having said that I know we all want our kids taken care of the way we do things. We feel our way is the only way. I have an inhome daycare and it would not be fair to me and the other kids to follow everyones schedule. I have a schedule that all the kids follow each day. They all eat around the sametime and sleep at the sametime. It is very unfair for a parent to ask that you stick to their schedule. I had a parent who interviewed me who was very demanding I ended up telling her me taking care of her little one was just not going to work out.

I hope you can find a nanny or maybe stay home could be an option for you. Good luck with your situation and I hope everything works out for you and your baby. I know going back to work for you is hard and that might be why you are wanting so much control on your daycare provider. At the end of the day it shouldn't matter if he wasn't fed on your scheduel, or if he sat in a swing or bouncy seat. If he is healthy and happy that is what matters.

desik · May 2009

fiasco:
Please don't rock to sleep. Ben knows how to soothe himself.

Ben likes when people talk, sing and read to him. He also enjoys playing on the floor and activity mat, the bumbo, exersaucer and looking out the windows.

He doesn't soothe himself very darn well if he's having to cry himself to sleep for every nap. Cruel

Skipperg82 · May 2009

OK, I kind of understand where you are coming from - DS is on a schedule as well, something I also worked very hard for and HAD to do because of his sleeping issues. ?He wasn't getting enough sleep, so I hear where you are coming from wanting to make sure your LO gets good naps and enough of them, etc. etc. ?DS would also be miserable if he got only a 40minute nap.

HOWEVER, you need need need to let go a little. ?Just because your DS is on a schedule, doesn't mean it needs to be timed to a T....we rarely have a day where the schedule is exactly the same, and that's very normal. ?I suggest you read other sleep training manuals, many will say that at 6 months, sleeping changes and nap patterns will differ...sleep is always evolving, whether they will take a short nap in the morning, long one in the afternoon and vice versa. ?You have to roll with it otherwise you will drive yourself and your DCP crazy! ?You have a baby, not a robot like other pp's have suggested. ?

Why don't you give your DC a couple weeks to just settle in with your DS, let them get to know one another and get used to the place...then you can start giving suggestions if you feel like DS is failing to thrive there...give them a chance!! ?Anytime we go anywhere new with DS it takes him a good week to settle in and get back to his schedule. ?If it's a good schedule for him, he will bounce right back to it. ?If it were me, I would do everything I can to stay positive and work together with the DC to make sure you guys reach a good solution for DS's care - they are the ones that will be spending all day with him, the last thing you want is for them to break your rules just to spite you! ?(which I could see happening if you come across as a demanding control freak!)

I think if DS is still gaining weight, happy, sleeping well at home (despite what his sleep patterns are at DC) then you shouldn't worry too much about it....?

AmyDrinkie · May 2009

fiasco:
It was so much work to get him on only 4 bottles a day at 4 months, there is no way I want that undone by DC. ?

I absolutely cannot get my head around this. ?My son has been eating 6-8oz bottles per day since he was 4mos old, and would scream rather than sleep if he didn't get it. ?And he's in the 25th %tile for weight. ?If daycare only gave him 2 bottles the whole time he was there I would yank him out of there so fast. . .and if it takes him forever to finish a bottle give him a faster nipple!

MrsGo4Hockeychick · May 2009

this poster is a perfect example of why you should have to pass a test in order to procreate.

What did your child do to make you hate him so much?

Mrs.McLovin · May 2009

I don't know what books you have been reading, but you need to throw them out! And where the hell did your pedi go to school?

I would pick and choose my issues with daycare. For me, I didn't want DS in the bumbo and he is only to be fed what I send (their menu is filled with food that is junk!). Otherwise, I let most everything else go. DS eats when he is hungry and sleeps when he is tired. When Dh or I pick him up, he is a happy guy!

At home, our routine is a little different and DS does fine with that.

You need to settle down and start taking cues from your baby. WTF is wrong with you.

MattsWifey<3 · May 2009

ABMcKinney:

Wow. After reading that I think you're lucky the daycare didn't deny your child entry in to the center! Maybe I'm just a completely different type of mother, but we don't worry about a schedule- especially one so rigid! The wording was horrible, and I know that at our center the kids are not allowed to cry in the crib for more than 3 minutes before someone HAS to pick them up. It's possible that your child crying could be stopping the other kids from getting the sleep that THEY need. It sounds like a daycare center isn't something that would work for your family at all. Maybe you need a nanny or an in home daycare that would be able to exclusively cater to your childs demanding and strict schedule.

This.

And also my 11mo old still drinks more than 4 bottles a day plus she eats 3 real meals (whatever im eating) and 2 snacks.

She is pretty small too!

ToledoDeux · May 2009

This post just depressed the hell out of me. We are soooooooo not "schedule" people at my house. Granted, we have an incredibly easy kid, so I don't have the experience of NEEDING a schedule for the sake of my sanity.

But honestly? It sounds like you didn't need it either (at least there's no mention of it). It seems as if you popped this baby out expecting it to instantly conform to your strict needs. Crying for 20 minutes at every rigid naptime? That makes me want to cry for 20 minutes thinking about that poor baby.

If I were your DC worker, I would gleefully violate your demands.

crazytmogirl · May 2009

Late to this thread but I think you sound like a tightly wound bi!tch of a mother! Your poor child eats so little... it's a wonder that he's 23 lbs. My 13 month old eats way more than that, plus solid foods. Your DC probably isn't allowed to let your child "soothe" himself back to sleep, if that is what you call it to feel better about your parenting. Clearly, he cannot comfort himself and I bet you he's starving. Feed and comfort your child... I bet he'll be better adjusted if you do.

*blondiem* · May 2009

Wow. You people are so fVcking cruel.

Give this girl a break. There is some seriously HARSH name calling in these replies, and I think you all need to check your high and mighty selves at the door.

FFS.

*blondiem* · May 2009

Skipperg82:
OK, I kind of understand where you are coming from - DS is on a schedule as well, something I also worked very hard for and HAD to do because of his sleeping issues. He wasn't getting enough sleep, so I hear where you are coming from wanting to make sure your LO gets good naps and enough of them, etc. etc. DS would also be miserable if he got only a 40minute nap.
HOWEVER, you need need need to let go a little. Just because your DS is on a schedule, doesn't mean it needs to be timed to a T....we rarely have a day where the schedule is exactly the same, and that's very normal. I suggest you read other sleep training manuals, many will say that at 6 months, sleeping changes and nap patterns will differ...sleep is always evolving, whether they will take a short nap in the morning, long one in the afternoon and vice versa. You have to roll with it otherwise you will drive yourself and your DCP crazy! You have a baby, not a robot like other pp's have suggested.
Why don't you give your DC a couple weeks to just settle in with your DS, let them get to know one another and get used to the place...then you can start giving suggestions if you feel like DS is failing to thrive there...give them a chance!! Anytime we go anywhere new with DS it takes him a good week to settle in and get back to his schedule. If it's a good schedule for him, he will bounce right back to it. If it were me, I would do everything I can to stay positive and work together with the DC to make sure you guys reach a good solution for DS's care - they are the ones that will be spending all day with him, the last thing you want is for them to break your rules just to spite you! (which I could see happening if you come across as a demanding control freak!)
I think if DS is still gaining weight, happy, sleeping well at home (despite what his sleep patterns are at DC) then you shouldn't worry too much about it....

Skipper, hats off to you for being constructive in your response.

This is exactly the way it goes with my DS, and it goes well. You can be structured, but also be flexible at the same time.

fiasco · May 2009

ToledoDeux:
This post just depressed the hell out of me. We are soooooooo not "schedule" people at my house. Granted, we have an incredibly easy kid, so I don't have the experience of NEEDING a schedule for the sake of my sanity.
But honestly? It sounds like you didn't need it either (at least there's no mention of it). It seems as if you popped this baby out expecting it to instantly conform to your strict needs. Crying for 20 minutes at every rigid naptime? That makes me want to cry for 20 minutes thinking about that poor baby.
If I were your DC worker, I would gleefully violate your demands.

OK, I see what the problem is. Reading comprehension is not the strongest skill among some nesties. My son cries for about 6 minutes before each nap. I have no clue where you saw that I let him cry for 20 minutes. You guys have nothing better to do but to misread and totally flip out? I think it's kind of funny but also kind of sad that you all have children.

And for the poster who asked why I use a feeding schedule- my son sleeps almost 12 hours at night. That means he's awake for another 12 hours minus naps. When he was 4 months old he was taking an hour and a half to eat his bottles. So he was constantly eating, never playing or doing anything else cuz he was a nibbler. So now, on the advice of the pedi, they are spread out around a naturally occuring nap schedule. His bottles are at 7am, 11 am, 3 pm and 6:30 before bed. I am LMAO at those of you who think I'm not feeding him enough. He was eating an average of 40 oz a day until recently. His appetite has been a little bit lower but we still offer 9oz bottles which = 36 oz per day. The pedi thinks it's plenty and evidently so does DS since he doesn't always finish it. Where is the confusion in my prior posts that lead you people to fly off the handle?

fiasco · May 2009

crazytmogirl:
Late to this thread but I think you sound like a tightly wound bi!tch of a mother! Your poor child eats so little... it's a wonder that he's 23 lbs. My 13 month old eats way more than that, plus solid foods. Your DC probably isn't allowed to let your child "soothe" himself back to sleep, if that is what you call it to feel better about your parenting. Clearly, he cannot comfort himself and I bet you he's starving. Feed and comfort your child... I bet he'll be better adjusted if you do.

Again, see my post above. What the hell do you mean he eats so little? You can't read!

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